I love my boyfriend.

my dad is crazy. the other day, I get home from work and shawn picked me up from work...and my dads like..."how'd he drive" like the physco he is. I say "fine" and then notice his pistol sticking out of his pants. I ask him what thats about and he says...ooh jus making sure you got home okay. he continues talking, and I continue unpacking my stuff...not thinking. then he walks away...and i assume he went to his room. then I realize he pry went in the kitchen. might I mention, that is where my sweet, sweet boyfriend is at. sooo i dash out there as fast as I can and my dad decides to start flashing his shiny, silver pistol. shawn gets a scaredddddd look on his face...and I yell at my dad. Pistol + Boyfriend = crazy dad.

then he catches us kissing last nite. not a big deal, right? HAH! it is to my dad. its disrespectful. what the hell does he think we do? sit around and hold hands all the time? come on, we're...almost 17, and 18! HAH! ooh well, I love my dad just the same.

I love my boyfriend quite a bit too. he makes me so damn happy. I flipped out on him the other day, with no rightful reasoning. I felt bad. I basically told him to leave if he didnt like the way I did things. Mind you, this is one of our first arguments. See, we never fight. I felt sooooo bad. I didnt know what to do or say to make things better. and he jus kept saying it was okay after I apologized. Man, Im a bad girlfriend. I always wanted to be MORE for him...it makes me sick to think about it. I am a bad girlfriend. I'm sorry sweetie, I am trying.

soo I was inducted into National Honor Society friday. I was scared. I know I'm a baby, but...I was so scared I was going to fall. courtney held my hand. what a pussy I am. then all I could do was laugh when I got up there. Its not even like its hard or anything...I just felt incredibly dumb. then someone jacked my coat.

there was a fight at school. I'm not going to put my opinion on that one, because well...everyone disagrees with me. hah...I dont care. I am entitled to my opinion.

tomorrow is mine and the lovely boyfriends 3 months. Its not much, but its a pleasent start.

I think I'm graduating early. I don't feel that I should stick out the hole year next year if I don't necassairly need to. I have enough credits so...psh. Im not sure what Im going to do about college. I think I might jus start at either mansfield or corning and then either transfer, or jus do 4 years there and then go to law school...if that's still my goal by then.

Its so strange; growing up.

another kid died in a car accident. i love having my license, but man...kids should not be able to drive or something. theressssssss so many people who have died in car accidents in the last 5 years in like a 50 mile radius. its freaky.

trig class I am not doing so hott in. Its not like I don't get it, I jus dont like the way olsen teaches...I guess. I can't really explain it. It jus doesnt seem hard and then...I get all confused about dumb things. I think I actually need to start studying for that class a bit.

i cant wait for warm weather.
Im tired of being cold.
and Im tired of being sick.
and Im tired of having wet feet.

an interesting thing happened last week on the bus.
...see, being the cool kid I am...I was chilling, listening to my mp3 player. thats when it hit me: I was being stared at. so I said "whaaat?" and chris andrews proceeds to say "lick my balls." I found that to be quite derogatory so I said again "excuuuse me, what did you say?" he says...lick my balls. now, by this time Im getting fired up and so I repeat myself "exucseeeeee me, do you wanna say that again?" and he looks at me, and says it jus like this. "Lick...[pause]...my...[pause]...balls." in a way thats daring me to do something about it. yup, my ass was off that seat and his head was hitting those lovely bus windows within a matter of seconds. my busdriver asks if theres a problem, and I explain to her that I dont like to be told to lick anyones balls and he should have more respect for women then that.

hah, im a bitch.

I must depart now...as I am waiting for a phone call.





I love you Shawn Michael Gowin!