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The Skis Will Live On
Thursday. 2.8.07 11:00 pm
The beginning of winter was exceptionally warm here on the east coast. So warm, in fact, that mother nature apparently felt bad about forcing us to endure so much sunlight. The guilt finally seemed to penetrate her barren heart this week. As an apology, she decided to spend this entire week compensating for her mistake by dumping more cold on us than we could ever want or deserve. However, at the moment, I look favorably upon our plummeting temperatures because:

A) It's more like normal winter. We seem to have staved off disastrous global cooling for another year, which is good because I can continue to tell myself that "global climate change" is just another piece of absurd liberal propaganda disseminated by a conspiracy dedicated to boosting Al Gore's movie sales.
-and-

B) I'm going skiing this weekend, and temperatures have been low enough for the mountains to keep the snowguns rollin' all week.

Many of you have probably never experienced the adrenaline rush that comes from tearing down a mountain at high speed with one or two sleds strapped to your feet. The rest of you probably have experienced it, and you've probably experienced it with only one foot-sled. Yeah, you're probably all snowboarders.

So, why do I continue to use skis when all of the other whippersnappers my age have moved to snowboarding? Snowboarding makes doing tricks easy, and it looks cooler. How could I resist such a clearly awesome trend?

Well, I would say that I'm an individual and I'm fighting the man. Unfortunately, however, I'm a spineless conformist. I would tell you that I'm afraid of the dangers inherent in learning a new sport, but as we all know I have no fear.

The truth is, I'd like to conform to snowboarding, I'm just too lazy. Thus, I've elected to wait for skis to finally lose the war against snowboards and go out of style... so they can reemerge a few years from now as that sport that only a few awesome people still know how to play, like telemark skiing. Then I can conform to the trend of being different, and at the same time fulfill my instinctual laziness.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to trend-set.

Thank you, that is all.
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4 Comments.


Well
I too am a victim of skiis. Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to learn snowboarding...I would have, but my parents are very keen on passing down the talents of old people to the younger generation. They ski, so I must as well apparently.

P.s. Has anyone ever told you that you write awesomely? Well, now you have.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-02-09 12:16:26

I can't ski, nor can I snowboard. I can sort of sled, but that usually doesn't work either. :P I like the snow but it's not a mutual feeling...
» randomjunk on 2007-02-09 12:19:02

the last time i saw snow was when i was 7. i've always wanted to try to ski and snowboard. ):
» Cher_lyn on 2007-02-09 02:06:28

Do you wear a bobble hat as well?
» theZEBRA on 2007-02-11 11:03:02

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