There are things that make me smile. They make me laugh and really enjoy this thing called life.

Yet there always seems to be something right around the corner to either counteract it or outweigh it entirely. It makes the "high" feeling vanish and all that's left is ... despair isn't the right word, but it's the only one that comes to mind.

It's weird how much the simple, three-letter word "our" can make my day. Even when it's not said in the way that my mind wants to understand it as. Yet when all that would make me smile is a simple look back ... it doesn't happen.

I'm usually okay with the holidays, but this year is different. I'm not in the relationship I was during the last few years. He's still there, but yet, not. Last holiday season was our first together ... and our only together.

The two years before that, it still involved family and others; last year it was just us. This year it's back to being just me.

I am in a better place from a few months ago, but only slightly. People at work have noticed that I'm happier. Maybe I am. Or maybe I'm just playing it at work.

I haven't cried in a while, but I feel like I should. Maybe if I hold it in some more, the feeling will go away.

There are things that will still bring us down even though we have started to move on. I guess it is because of the disappointment that it didn't last forever and we are abruptly left to pick up the pieces on our own. Holiday season tend to multiply whatever negative emotions we have.
» Nuttz on 2011-11-23 06:41:30

Well, I'm glad you're in a better place than you were before, even if it's only a small improvement. :/
» randomjunk on 2011-11-23 11:51:43

:(
» Midnight on 2011-11-30 07:03:03

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