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feeling inferior
Sunday. 5.8.11 6:02 pm
The ideas and thoughts that Jacob has been sharing with me lately have been making me feel rather inferior. They're ideas about the body and mind and genetics. Things that could improve or assist different parts or things in the future.

I have nothing even close to that intelligent to talk about. Instead I would complain about something at work. Or just make an unrelated statement about an upcoming appointment.

I keep getting the feeling that maybe I should separate myself from him. I don't want to be the one responsible for holding him back from his dreams or ideas. I'm not physically holding him back, but I feel like he'd be more free to do what he wanted, whenever he wanted if I wasn't around. If he didn't have to worry about me and my financial stability {or lack there of} or my emotional state, then he'd be free. Nothing would be tying him down or holding him back.

It might just be a bit of depression that's triggering all these feelings, but I'm not imagining the fact that he hasn't cuddled up to me in bed in at least 4 days. I'm the only one who's been doing the cuddling.

Two more days. I'll find out about a couple's therapist then. And perhaps discover some of my own problems that I didn't even know were there.
4 Comments.


I know what you mean about feeling inferior. It's not necessarily important to generate your own content in that area, though. Sometimes it means more if you can just listen to the other person and really try to understand what they're saying.

And I doubt you're holding him back... If you encourage him in his endeavors, I'm sure he appreciates the support.

It does seem like depression is getting to you, by the way you're talking. Or at least, that's what people tell me when I talk like this. XP
» randomjunk on 2011-05-09 12:05:09

I too know how you feel, especially feeling very much dumber than the one you love. I also know how depressing one simple sentence or question can make you feel when you don't seem to get what the hell he is saying.

I'm sure there are other things that you guys have in common and it is not always that two people who love each other share one major passion. I'm sure listening to him talk about something he loves, the look on his face and the sound of his voice makes you think that he is adorable
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» Dorsey (95.30.220.17) on 2011-07-08 03:11:16

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