Sometimes I still think about how crazy it is that I love driving as much as I do. Compared to 5 years ago when I was terrified and didn't want to have anything to do with driving a vehicle. No matter what size it was.

I really like the way I look when I dress up, but I'm still not comfortable enough with it to just go out and buy something. Besides, I really don't go anywhere that would require me to dress up. Hell, I barely went anywhere when I was living in a city that's full of dress-up places. I've been looking at shoes a lot lately. I want to buy a new pair of heels, preferably wedges or something that's not stiletto. Something that has support on the balls of the feet as well. Basically I want to find a high heel that doesn't put a lot of strain on front of my foot.

But here's a problem with that ... I don't have anything that would go with the shoes. I mean, sure, I could always find something, but then it goes back to the question as to where I'd wear it to.

Next payday {Friday 25th} I'm going to be starting a diet. The Slim Fast diet. I'll basically be starving myself, but getting all the nutrients required to stay healthy. See, according to the box, I'm supposed to substitute 2 meals a day with either a shake or a meal bar and then eat one, sensible, 500 calorie meal. As well as 3 healthy snacks throughout the day. Such as an apple or one of their 100 calorie snack bars {which is probably what I'll be doing.}

My goal? Lose the 20+ pounds I've gained so that I can go back down to my 130, 135 pound frame. I want my jeans to fit me again. Comfortably. I can still get them on, but they're extremely tight. Even the strap on my bra is squeezing a little more than it should be. It's not fun. And I refuse to buy bigger clothes. I'd rather really starve myself than give in and buy bigger clothing. No way am I giving in to that.

Here's another secret thought. I wish I could starve myself again. I wish that I were able to go 3 weeks without eating. I've also thought about puking up a meal or two here and there. I won't do it, though. It's just a thought that crosses my mind.

Anywho, that's pretty much it. I want to buy dressy outfits, nice shoes and I am dieting so that my clothes will fit again. The dieting isn't a secret, just the dress thing, but I wanted to write about the diet as well.

Okay, I'm gonna go read some of my new book.

Till next time NuTang ...

The Slim Fast diet sounds tricky. Good luck!

Sometimes I think about having an eating disorder too, and also dismiss it. I guess I'm getting to the point where my weight depresses me. :|
» randomjunk on 2011-02-19 06:24:41

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