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torn with indecision
Sunday. 11.29.09 3:56 pm
Reality has come back. My weekend is over and everything returns to normal. Everything, this time. Jacob is back to work today. A normality that he's been looking forward to; a normality that needs to happen. The reality that I need to separate myself from him again. With him back at work I will be restricted to seeing him only on weekends. And not even my weekend.

And it bothers me. I've taken far too much advantage of the last two months. And I will be paying for it now. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. Something that'll I'll eventually talk to him about. It will only take one weekend for it to fully set in. This reality that I've not had to live with for the last two months.

We're both going to Seattle. We're not going together. I asked him about it this weekend and he gave me a straight up, honest answer. I will be going to Seattle alone or not at all. Either way, I won't be going with him. If I stay in Vegas, he'll figure out that I'm waiting for him and he'll leave abruptly. I'm torn between how much longer I should stay in Las Vegas. He's talking about staying here for at least another year. I want to spend as much time with him in that year as possible.

I don't know what to do.

I had a very good weekend, but the alternate reality has come to an end. After spending the time over there, I've realized just how much more I hate coming back to this home. The new apartment will be so much better. It won't be with him, but it's the closest I can get.

I need to just take things one day at a time. One day at a time.
2 Comments.


Oh this sucks. Yes, I think taking things one day at a time helps a lot in your situation. Who knows circumstances will change when the time comes.
» Nuttz on 2009-11-29 09:15:14

damn homie.

so he is going to flee if he notices you're after him? i'm confused.
» thaitanic on 2009-11-30 02:12:10

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