I haven't had any kind of alcohol in about a month and I wanted to drink today. So at quarter after 11 this morning, I took my first shot of Jagermeister. After about 10 or so minutes I did this again. And over the course of the following 45 minutes I ended up with 5 shots of Jager in me. Not a lot if you think about it, but enough to definitely make me feel it.

So what's the issue? I had just finished eating a fun size Three Musketeers bar prior to taking shots. I find out the hard way about two hours later that Jager and Three Musketeers don't mix. I don't feel quite as shitty as I normally do when I've sobered up after drinking, but I still don't feel too good.

I'm going to rant, again, about how sick of this place I am, again. Nothing has really triggered it this time, which is odd. Usually something happens and then I want to leave. This time, nothing really, but I still want out.

Have you ever wanted to get away, but there was literally nowhere on Earth you could go that would make you happy? I want to escape to the stars. I want to be up there, out there looking down on the Earth. Looking over at Venus or Mars, depending on which side of the Earth I've managed to escape on. Is it even possible to see Venus or Mars from just outside the Earth? I don't even know, but in my own fantasy world, you can.

Over the last week I've been working as best I could to keep myself calm. Ever since finding out that Jacob will be having his surgery this month, I feel like I've been working overtime to not freak out. The thing is, even if I found out two or three months in advance, I'd still probably be exactly the same way.

I knew this surgery was eventually going to have to happen. And for some reason I don't think I'd ever be ready enough. No matter how much time I had to prepare myself. . . Wait!!!

What the hell am I saying? I'm not the one who's going under the knife. I'm talking like its me! Maybe this is my issue. I don't know. I'm still nervous about it, though, because it's someone who I deeply care about who's going in for a dangerous surgery. If all goes well he'll be healthier than he has been.

We just don't know the exact date yet. All I know is that it's soon.

So yeah. I feel like ish. I want to leave planet Earth. And I'm nervous about Jacob's upcoming surgery.

Well he talked to me on the phone for two hours, and you can't text while you're doing that, can you?
» randomjunk on 2009-09-07 06:03:14

i feel u. i'm tired of this life.
» renaye on 2009-09-08 07:25:27

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