I've been thinking a lot about my parents lately.

It's been 13 years, 4 months and 2 days since the death of my father and though I can go longer without the waterworks, each time it happens, it hits just as hard as the last. Something tells me that's not ever going to get easier. I already know it will never really go away.

I miss my mom. I've never gone more than a couple days without talking to her until now. I haven't really talked to her since my birthday. And with her and Steve sharing a phone, unless I call and actually speak to her, I never know for sure who exactly I'm having a conversation with {text message-wise.} It bothers me. I don't know what it is, but I just don't have a good feeling about this guy. She knows I don't care much for him, but what more can I do? I'm not going to stop talking to her because of a choice she's made. Not when she's been there for me.

Even my step-dad has popped into my head every now and then. Maybe because his birthday is coming up? Maybe for other reasons I'm unsure of. But even him, although I didn't favor him when he first came into our lives, I grew to love him. He wasn't my dad, but he was a father figure, a friend and as much a part of my family as anyone could be. I don't think I let him know that enough when he was alive. It's been a little over 3 years since his death.

Perhaps it's the depression that's making this more enhanced. I don't know. Whatever it is, I don't like being this way.

I sigh a lot. A lot more than a normal person. When my insurance kicks in, maybe I'll have that looked into. Along with every other issue that I have.

Umm... I hope your insurance kicks in soon, then. :/
» randomjunk on 2008-11-01 09:04:44

I don't sigh a lot, but I do have a lot of Charlie Brown "Good Grief" moments.

Why don't you like Steve?
» Dilated on 2008-11-01 09:48:31

it is indeed that time of year...i don't think you're wiccan minded, but this week is one of 2 times a year those who have passed on like to visit us.
» invisibleinkling on 2008-11-01 09:56:26

I don't think sighing a lot is a problem.. It could be a habit tho.
» Nuttz on 2008-11-02 12:13:14

I'm feeling alright, I guess. Lost my appetite recently, though.

Yourself?
» randomjunk on 2008-11-09 07:18:01

Name.

URL.

[to enter your email, use "mailto:[email protected]"]
Subject.

Comment.

Word verification.

Copy the first 4 characters only.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.