I can't seem to figure anything out. When I think I've got something, another thing comes up and it brings on twice as many questions as answers. It's quite frustrating.

Whenever I want time to slow down, it speeds up. When I want it to fly by, it seems to know this and slows to a snail's pace. It's always been that way, though. And it happens to everyone.

Yesterday after Jacob left, I layed back down for a nap. A few hours later, I woke up with a sudden start and immediately felt worried, uncomfortable. I haven't had this feeling in a long time and it scares me. Something feels very wrong; almost like something is out of place. Something isn't right and I haven't the slightest clue as to what it is.

I kept as smooth a composure as I could manage until around 10pm. Then I just couldn't take it anymore and I broke down. Unfortunately, I broke down hard. I cried myself to sleep last night. Again, something that hasn't happened in a while.

My eyes are too dry right now. I wanted to cry earlier. Even my nose got all stuffy as if I were crying, but my eyes were too dry for tears to form. I guess it was good considering I was at work.

I feel better than yesterday, but only marginally.

I wish I could shake this uneasy feeling. Discomfort is not fun. It makes pretending to be in a good mood harder than it already is.

I wish Jake were here. Or I were there with him. When he holds me, even when I don't think anything will help me, feeling his arms around me and the strength in his hold comforts me.

I often lay awake thinking of questions which I can hardly solve because there are too many open ends. I hope you'll be able to find out about the source of uneasiness soon.

re:
I'm not really a big fan of FRIENDS but I watch the series because it is funny and to kill time.

Having two blogs is fun though sometimes I have no idea what to update the other one..
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» Colin (118.98.212.242) on 2010-09-03 08:23:43

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