I'm nervous. And I know exactly what I'm nervous about. The answers. The reaction. The truth.

My nerves are going to make it very hard for me to get everything out and in the way I want it. Yesterday I worked on what I would say, but now that it's actually going to happen, I can't remember.

My nerves are even making typing a slightly difficult task, seeing as how my hands are shaking a bit. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving.

And I can't guarentee that I won't end up in tears at some point. It took everything in me to not break down into tears at work today. I don't know how many times I had to just stop what I was doing and walk away for a minute.

It's very obvious when something is bothering me. I get very somber and incredibly quiet. People notice. It's unfortunate when I don't want to talk about it or don't know how to describe what I'm feeling.

It's at a time like this when I wish I had a friend who I could go to about anything and everything, break down into tears and just sit there and cry until I can't anymore. Or, you know, just crawl into a corner and cry until my eyes are sore. The latter being the alternative.

I will be crying at some point today. Holding it in for the duration of the day, it's bound to explode out of me sooner or later. I'm hoping for later, when I'm alone in the privacy of my own room, but I'm expecting sooner.

I wish I could repeat the month of April. That month was wonderful. I'd give almost anything, almost anything, to go back to April.

{EDIT} I chickened out. I got there and saw that he was in a really good mood, so I decided not to ruin it with my depressed mood. His attitude altered how I felt, which made me feel pretty good. But then one of the stomach churning thoughts came back towards the end ... it's always hard leaving him. Even if I know exactly when I'll see him again.

We played on their newly bought Wii. I'll write more about that in tomorrow's entry.

Um... well I hope you feel better. :|
» randomjunk on 2008-06-01 06:49:24

*hugs*
» Nuttz on 2008-06-02 05:51:42

Whom can I ask?
The authoritative answer, cognitively... buy ambien online And how in that case to act? tramadol no prescription I congratulate, a brilliant idea and it is duly adipex without prescription This very valuable opinion prozac online It is remarkable, it is rather valuable piece acomplia online a7b250
» Odis (211.152.12.114) on 2010-09-02 03:13:31

Name.

URL.

[to enter your email, use "mailto:[email protected]"]
Subject.

Comment.

Word verification.

Copy the first 4 characters only.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.