*~I warn you now, this is not one of my most pleasant blogs cuz I'm not in the best mood right now~*

Well, I leave back for Tucson tonight. The reality that its actually going to happen is here. And the depression is starting to sink in more deeply. I've been avoiding it the last couple days by not thinking about it at all. But now that the day is here I can't avoid it anymore.

I don't want to go back. No, I really REALLY don't want to go back. I don't even think I can put into words how much I don't want to go back to Tucson.

What depresses me even more is the fact that I have to go back to the same piece of shit job and deal with the same shitty people. I realize that I can find another job, but I'm going to be moving in July, if not sooner, so there wouldn't be much of a point.

I already know that Joey is going to throw in my face that it was my choice to move away from my family and its a mistake to want to go back. What he doesn't realize is that, yeah sure I'm living on my own, but I'm lonely. I don't have anyone there, except maybe a few friends, that aren't even all that close. When I move back out to Las Vegas I'll be getting a place of my own, but I'll have family. I won't be lonely.

I already know that I'll be putting in my two weeks at the end of June. I think I might work the first week in July, but it depends on when that last pay period before July ends. I'll work the last full pay period before July and then I'll be done with that place forever.

Mom said that she, Lori, and Tony would come up with the car and Jean's truck if need be to help me move back here. I don't really have all that much, since I'm not going to be bringing furnature. I'll just buy all new stuff once I get out here and settled in.

The only thing, literally the only thing keeping me from moving out sooner is the fact that I'd have to break my current lease. And in keeping my credit as good as possible, that would fuck it up. Not a whole lot, but since I still don't have that much, it'd be a decent size glitch. If I want any luck at all in the future when it comes to getting a car or renting another place, I need to keep my credit as good as I can possibly keep it.

Alright, I still have some stuff to say, but I'd basically be repeating myself. Besides, the last wave of tears has sstopped and I don't want to risk causing another wave right away.

Sorry if I brought any of you guys down; I did warn you though. I'll be back on later.

It's okay...we'll keep you company. Wanna watch a movie? Set a time and date, I'll watch it with you. ;) We can gush about the movie and Twilight/New Moon together! XD
» Silver-dot- on 2007-01-03 04:25:07

BTW: You saw the new one? You saw the link at invisble's blog, didn't you? =P I like it, all wintery and statuey--I'm a true romantic.
» Silver-dot- on 2007-01-03 04:27:47

*hugs*
I hope you'll feel better. Going back to work isn't what anyone wants but I guess you have a mission to accomplish when you go back to work. Hang in there for a couple more months. Good luck and I'm sure there are a couple of Nutangers who lives in that area. Even if there isn't any, you can always come here and we'll keep you company like what Silver-dot- said.
» Nuttz on 2007-01-03 08:44:38

That's not enough to bring me down. :|
» randomjunk on 2007-01-03 09:39:08

aww...it wasn't a downer

I know about breaking the lease thing...and apartment communities are bitches about you breaking their lease and all that too. I don't blame you for staying because of that...but it just sucks you can't go back sooner :(
» lazypuppy on 2007-01-03 10:15:08

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