welcome to my mind ...

Today was just as long as I had thought it would be. I got out of there maybe a half hour earlier than I was expecting, but it was still long.

I woke up at 8am with my alarm, took a shower, got ready for work and left my apartment at approx. 9:07am. I got to work and clocked in at approx. 9:23am. I got myself situated {changed into uniform, got some water} and immediately started working. I had the choice between slicing the cheesecake for the $1000 order or to filter the fryers. Since I haven't sliced cheesecake in a while and I really didn't want to touch the fryers, I decided to slice the cheesecake. I had to cut 3 {12" or 10", I'm not sure which} cheesecakes into 48 slices. That meant that I had to score it twice {we have a thing that scores it into 12 slices} and then had to cut each of the 24 slices in half again. So basically I had to cut 144 slices of cheesecake. My hand still hurts a little from pressing the knife into the frozen cheesecake and its almost 12 hours later.

The catering order went without a hitch. It went as perfectly as planned. The birthday party that came in later that evening also went as well as it could go. The actually went pretty smoothly. It was just constant and busy the whole day.

I'm stressed because I want to make sure that I get everything done that needs to be done before I leave. And I want to make sure that it gets done efficently and propperly. The stress of that and making sure that my other stuff outside of work gets done as well; my appointments {hair and tattoo}, laundry, packing, getting rid of the food that could go bad in the two weeks I'll be gone, etc.

I'm drained because i'm putting forth so much energy. More energy than I'm used to putting forth. And putting so much energy forward in such a short period of time, making sure I have enough energy the whole time, can be stressing.

Now, I talked to Lance today and I found out that he doesn't like me in the same way. I asked him straight out. He's not bothered or weirded out that I like him, but he doesn't feel the same way about me and that's what he told me. He told me that I'm a really good friend though, so that made me happy. I was mad at myself for letting myself like him in that way. I was so set on not liking him, but it happened anyway. I still sort of want a relationship with him, but it's probably much better this way. It most likely would have ended on a sour note and that would have fucked up the friendship as well. I don't want that. Besides, I'm going to be moving in the summer anyway. I don't want to do another long distance thing. I like that we're going to just stay friends. It's going to take some time to get over him, and as long as I don't sleep with him {though I do want to}, then it shouldn't take me long to get over him. So its not really a big deal. I'm sort of bothered by it, but I'll get over it.

My headache isn't going away. Its actually slowly gotten worse over the last few days. Also, in the morning, I've been waking up with a bad stomach ache. Its usually gone by the time I get to work. But the whole time getting ready its there, making me feel sick to my stomach. Oh well. Its probably cuz I'm stressing. And when I stress I don't eat. But whenever I look at food, or even think about food, it makes my stomach upset again.

Today I had a salad and a couple pieces of fudge. That's it. Yesterday I think all I had was a few chicken tenders and a couple chips ahoy cookies. I don't remember on Wednesday. I'm not hungry. Like I said, though, whenever I look or even think about food, I get sick to my stomach. Whatever. I haven't completely stopped eating so its alright.

I just want this vacation to come. I need it. I need to get away from here for some time. Just completely shut myself off from the life I live now and take a break. I doubt two weeks will be enough time, but I'll have to make the best with what I'm given.

I'm getting my tattoo tomorrow; I'm excited. I'm tired. I think I'll be going to bed in an hour or so. I'll write more tomorrow night, and I'll have pics of the tat to post.

that sucks with the whole Lance thing, but eh...you sound like it was probably better that it didn't happen that way anyway.

Where you moving to?

You're getting your tattoo today! I hope you plan on showing everyone what it looks like when it heals up and stuff :) I like to look at tattoos...I'm just too scared to get one myself...haha
» lazypuppy on 2006-12-16 11:10:10

Hmm headaches... no appetite.... do you think you might be sick...?
» randomjunk on 2006-12-16 07:37:46

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