welcome to my mind ...

Something that a friend from the past taught me, or tried to teach me, was that having low expectations (or zero, if possible) was highly underrated. It allows for pretty much anything to happen and you don't end up getting hurt as badly had you expected more. I tried implementing that in my life; it was pretty damn challenging at first. I've grown to be better at it, but I'm nowhere near perfect. I recently found myself having much higher expectations than I even consciously realized I'd had, until afterwards when the shitty moments happened and I got quite hurt.

So here I am in another interesting situation, and I keep telling myself not to expect anything. Just keep enjoying it for what it is. Go with the flow. If the flow stops, then go with the new flow. Let it happen as it happens and don't expect anything. It's been quite nice so far, but it's only in the very early stages so let's see what comes next.

I leave for Alaska in less than a week. I do believe I have finally mentally prepared myself to not be alone that entire weekend. I mentioned to my friend that I was probably going to take advantage of the trail that runs behind her apartment so that I could clear my head and she eagerly said she'd join. I love her to bits, but I think she missed the point. Oh well. I'm still bringing my extra headphones just in case I do get that little bit of alone time.

Today is the day to go out and prepare for next weekend. Girly stuff: nails, hair, etc. It's also a birthday celebration for my friend. Her birthday is technically tomorrow, but since it's harder to stay out late on a Sunday when you have to work Monday, we're celebrating today. It's a typical rainy Seattle day, however, so I'm not sure how much time we'll be spending outdoors.

Yesterday was my nephew's birthday. It's kinda crazy that he's already 6! Like, that baffles me in the fact that in just 4 more years, he'll be 10. And my sister will be 30! Ugh. Me turning 30 this year doesn't make me feel old. Knowing how close she is to 30 is what makes me feel old. Since I wasn't able to get anything super special for them for Christmas, I decided to get them better gifts for the birthdays. I bought my nephew a new bike. He'd been asking for one since he was kind of outgrowing his old one. I didn't like the character designs on the ones they had at Target or Walmart so I got him a nice one from REI. I also bought my sister the Chucks that she's been wanting. She already knows about it, but my nephew will be surprised by the bike sometime mid next week. I also bought myself an REI membership, because why not.

I need to make sure not to overspend today so that I can still have a good chunk of money to just spend on stuff up in Alaska. I know most of the money spent will be on food and drinks, but I'd like to be able to buy some souvenirs and whatnot as well. We'll see how the day goes. I'm going to try to write at least once more before I go on my trip.