welcome to my mind ...

There's so many different things that tell you what dreams mean or what the causes are behind the context of different dreams, but it still doesn't help answer why certain dreams are easier to handle than others. Why are some dreams, that seem innocent enough, more bothersome than others? I've found that, regardless of the content, if I'm dreaming about people I know, those are the ones that bother me most. If I dream about people I don't know, again regardless of the content, I'm less affected.

If I could choose, I'd rather not have any dreams at all, but since I don't get to have that as an option, I'd rather just not dream about people I know. Last night's dream was fairly simple. I was hanging out at my friend's house helping her in her garden and her husband was inside talking to his publisher. He had suffered some kind of injury that required him to have a cane for the rest of his life, so he somehow became a writer. The mood wasn't bad, but I woke up feeling uncomfortable.

A couple weeks ago, when I was watching AHS, I had a dream about an old friend and his wife. Now, the whole point in watching AHS right before bed was to have twisted dreams because I wanted to get a horrible night's sleep. My wish was granted, however, I'd much rather have just had twisted dreams about random characters from the show than about this guy and his wife tormenting people inside the Asylum. I wanted a horrible night's sleep, not daytime nightmares.

In retrospect, I dreamed about being inside an old barn with torture devices and different rooms and suddenly I was inside an abandoned town with the same kind of setting, along with a monkey in a cage that was being saved for something. I didn't recognize any of the people in that dream and I woke up feeling just fine. Even with as twisted and whacked out as that dream was, nothing felt uneasy about it. That only seems to happen when I know the cast of the dream.

I still have an unopened bottle of Zzzquil, which will most likely remain that way. The other bottle I finished off created dreams I'd rather not discuss {it could have also been the stress I was going through at the time} and after a week of using it almost every night, I was sick the entire week following {also could have had to do with the stress.} But because that was the product I happened to be using when all this shit was going down, it now has that uncomfortable effect tied to it so I'll likely never use it again. I wonder if anyone I know would want it ...

I know I've discussed not wanting to dream quite a few times in the past. You can always tell when it's been a while since they affected me because I only seem to talk about wanting them to stop when one {or more} affect me quite strongly.

So here's to hoping I have a dreamless night...