T.☺.m.m.y @ NuTang.com

It had been so long since I last do my blogging. It is kind of pain to write it down. So many things occurred for the past 4 months. For those close friends, remember something I said before?

- We human always learn from ABC. ~~ we must have the correct attitude and behaviour which in turn shape our characteristic. But there is something which I did not say, "we have to take note of our PE too". PE in here do not referred to Physical Education, but People and Environment. These are two factors which will affect our emotions, so strongly that it will change our attitude and behaviour....

Before I carried on, I had to thanks all my friends for attending my father's wake. Sorry for those friends who I did not informed about my dad death. I did not forget you all. It is just that my mum do not want a lot of friend to know. Afterall, it is not something to celebrate about......

It happened on the 16th Feb 2009, around 1300hrs. It was my first day of reserve. I was doing some reserve briefing. This was when I found my handphone with 3 miss call and one sms from my cousin saying that my dad condition is in critical...it took me some time before I booked out of camp and rushed to the hospital. It was ard 1350 when I reached SGH. That time dad is semi-conscious, mum, sisters were all tearing.....I walked to my dad....hold onto his hand...shouting out "dad"..."dad".....I wanted to show him that I'm strong, I promised him that I will be the one taking care of this family....I try not to cry, but my tear just dropped.........ard 3 pm, doctor announced that my dad is gone...I'm still holding on to my dad's hand...what is the coldest thing in the world? It is a corpse.....It is colder than ice....

The wait was 5 days as we had to wait for relatives from Hong Kong and Malaysia to attend. It was a crying scene for the first day....my mum could not take it, neither do the rest of the family.....second day is slightly better, thanks to auntie who accompany my mum all the time......I really thanks my uncle who contribute not onli financial but also physically in helping out in the wait....without him the whole wait will be in a mess.....Although I only informed ard 12 friends, I'm surprised that quite of number of friends turned up, really appreciate this type of care...I could feel the warmest.....

The last day of wait is the saddest moment....it was when, I as the eldest son, sent my dad his last journey.....I'm in my own world that time......never in my life I believe in flash back memory.....It really does.....I saw the time when my dad scold me, hit me with a bamboo stick, love me....one thing that I will alway remember in my heart is what my dad said when he is alive:~~~"son, don't wait, don't wait, you will regret if you wait"....Regardless how strong am I, I cried and was so emo on that day.....I had so much regret to my dad....I'm not a good son, I had yet to lead you a comfortable life, I had yet to show you any girlfriend, I had yet to share you my secret, I had yet to talk heart with you, I had yet to drink with you, I had yet to......

I want to thanks friends who jio me out for drinks, KTV and outings so as to release my stress.....I'm sorry if I'm moodly that time....think that I'm still not ready at that time....

Dad is always an easy-going man, strict to children and love his wife. He tried his best to stay alive regardless the pain that he goes thou until the god decided to take him....at least he celebrated my mum b'day.....valentine's day.....kiss her, saying I love you.....

Already 2 month, and now that I'm ready to write it down and file it as a memory. My family is doing fine. I'm still working hard and saving up for studying next year, elder sister will be working and studying her uni soon, while the younger one is preparing for her 'O' level. Mum also got a job.... I think this make her think less. I am having more chatting with my mum now. Partly to make her feel that there is someone to talk to.....

P.S. I proud that I'm your son

In the memories of Ho Kam Chuen