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...i dont wanna write this down, im gonna tell you how i feel right now...
i want to make a quilt
of all the patches and find
one long strong pole
to lift it up


i've a mind to build
a whole new world
want to play?
Hmmm, Great day, bad fire.
Friday. 3.26.04 4:32 pm


Ok, so last night i laid down. For the thousandth time, i had some kinda disagreement with Dewayne. Like we always do. I guess sometimes ( even though i love him more than anything and think the world of him) that maybe we're a strange match. Meaning, i have no clue why we are friends. We absolutely have nothing in common. And when i say nothing, im not exxagerrating. But thats a different story, but now i think there's a reason for that... I got into bed complaining about how bad everything is going for me. How I feel like nothing is going my way. How classes are getting harder, time is getting shorter, and I always have a problem with money or something or im always wondering how i'm going to get things i need for school. I laid there asking God why everything seems to messed up between me and my friends, or me and myself, why i've just been so sad lately. And then it hit me.

I cant remember the last time i actually PRAYED. I dont remember the last time i thanked him before i went to bed at night or when i got up in the morning. I cant remember the last time i got down on my knees and asked him to come into my situation. Its because I havent asked him. Things are screwed up because I've slowly shut Him out of my life, when i realize now that i can be nothing without HIm.

So i immediately got down on my knees and prayed for a long time, thanking Him for being there for me when I wasnt being what He wanted me to be. I thanked him because I have friends, who no matter how crazy i get, still care about me. I thanked him for keeping me when I was trying to control my own life, I thanked him for allowing me to fall when it came to friendships (to teach me a lesson, that you cant take it upon yourself to change people, all I can do is pray for them as well as be an example) i thanked him for life health strength, and a sound mind. God, a sound mind. Sometimes i think i need to ask Him for an extra. But all in all, i realize i need to keep my mind on him and not the things of this world.

So, today is a good day...except....

Lots of people are going to be homeless when next semester starts. Looks like they'll have to be housed in the hotel up the street. The new building at 933 broad is totally burned to the ground! You should have seen the flames! It was terrible. Burning derbi was flying and cathing other homes and buildings on fire blocks away! They had to close a few schools in the area early too! And today would be the day my phone would be off, but I'm fine. I hope my mom knows I'm ok. mmm, i had just decided nOT to walk over there to the bookstore too. I couldnt have if i wanted to. Broad street is a mess!

Anywho...

My english teacher thinks I'm great! And she thinks my papers are great and I write wonderfully for my age. I was so pleased that of course i had to praise God for that one because He blessed me with the gift! Also I have a genius of a aunt and mother, so i guess i got it from them. Im very proud of my writing. So hopefully this next paper will impress her even more "A" impress her... lol
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