feeling: Defeated
watching: Nothing

...that I wasn't disappointed when you told me you went and took purikura with your friends today. I can't pretend I wasn't upset that one of the only things that could have been a first for us, you went and did with a bunch of other friends.

I can't pretend the news didn't piss me off and make me want to go off and find someone else to take purikura with instead.

I can't pretend it didn't remind me of when T did the same, although admittedly, that could have been my fault. However, this time... I know you said you offered to take some with me when we were in London, but at the time I had very little money and we had very little time.

Actually, I tried to hint if you could pay for me since I'd spent about �100 altogether on two trips to go see you and I have very little money, after all, we were supposedly together, but you didn't take the hint.

Then I find out today that you went and took some with other friends of yours. It's not as if I hadn't bought up the issue of having firsts together with you before and now a chance has gone, just like that.

It's not enough to have you comfort me online or over the phone. I think I don't want to speak to you for a while now. You were already treading on shaking ground and now it's falling through. It's not the same as you being here, but there's no way you can be here any time soon.

And I wonder if it's still worth it...?

Being away for so long right at the beginning is just...

You leave me speechless with sorrow, please don't call me tomorrow.

L8r,

��Kuriח

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feeling: Numb
watching: Nothing

I was looking at photos just now, of you two, just to see what I'd missed and what I will be missing.

Wow I've missed a lot.

And as my tears silently fall, I feel my heart becoming numb.

Slowly getting used to the fact that we would never share these moments together as a first for you.

Slowly coming to understand why she meant so much to you, why you were so reluctant to let her go.

Like you said to me before, what makes a couple stay together, if not for every experience they've shared together that makes it so special to them. I know you wouldn't have wanted to lose her, given the choice.

I've seen how much you've experienced.

I'm still seeing how much you've experienced.

I found a video, but I could not bring myself to watch.

The photos are endless. Why did you give me that website?

L8r,

��Kuriח

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