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Kahne_Earnhardt_Fan
Age. 48
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Redneck
Location Spokane, WA
School.
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Just When You Think You Know...
Sunday. 10.3.04 1:31 am
listening to:
Sirius Satellite Radio... 80's Hair Band Channel
mood:
confused

Just when you think you've figured out where you stand in the grand scheme of a relationship.... shit happens... and it all gets screwed up... I dunno precisely what happened between Rusty and I tonight... but... it led to me getting my hopes up.... again. I cannot afford to think of any possibility of us getting back together... if it happens... it happens i guess... I'm not sure i really want it... but i'm not really sure i DON'T want it either... Anyhow... we were sitting on the couch.. kissing... and now I'm back down here... on my computer.. smoking my last cigarette of the night...getting ready for bed. He did some really sweet things for me.... bought me a carton of Marlboros, bought me coffee... gave me the money for... girly things... I jsut don't know what to think right now... i really don't... and it sucks... i hate not knowing what to think or how to act. It was all i could do to keep myself off of him....grrrr Why do i have to be like this? Why can't i just go and tell him to shove the fact that he can't pay the bills without me right up his ass and leave. I want to travel.... but i guess... i want to try to settle down more... ~sigh~



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