Kahne_Earnhardt_Fan's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

watching:
NASCAR Drivers 360
mood:
deeply depressed
Love means nothing apparently... We broke up again... i caught him doing something that he knew he shouldn't have been doing... Talking to the girl he was with when we broke up.. passing notes... and i heard it form someone else... Anyway.... to make a long story short... He freaked out... blamed me... then accused me of being the entire reason all his shit is happening to him. I'll tell you my perceptions on it... He stopped going to his AA meetings, he started getting depressed and he set expectations on me that i didn't A. Know about.. and/or B. have the ability to live up to... So here I am... single again... and i dunno what to do with myself. I am definitely not looking for another relationship... I'm no good at relationships... not at all... I think i was meant to be single. This time.. i'm taking everything with me... and not leaving anything behind for him to look at... I'm really fighting the urge to just pack a back pack.. and hit the road... i would be doing what i love.. traveling... then.. on the first of next month... wherever i am.. I'll stay... I'd be somewhere in the south by then and far far away from here... If and when i DO leave... I'm going somewhere far far away... and I'm not coming back EVER... I don't think I EVER wanna be with Rusty again.. even if he does change his mind about me... It would only be a matter of time before it happens again... and i couldn't do this again.. it nearly killed me the last time... and i refuse to deal with it... Anyway... I'm done thinking about this for now.. it makes my head hurt....
Tomorrow's Installment.... The Day Of Doom Part 3

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