It's 4:30. I can't sleep. Well, I did sleep and then I woke up and now I can't get back there.

Do you ever feel like the world is made up of codes and someone forgot to give you the directions? That somehow everyone else knows something that you missed? That you can't see? I feel like that most of the time.

I don't really know what to say. There's alot to be said though. My chest is tight and the left side of it feels like it's either going too fast or too slow, I can't tell.

I don't actually know what it is i'm feeling. I think it boils down to scared, but i'm not sure. It's all very scary, and the one thing that isn't - ....I don't know how any of this works.

This isn't about me. This isn't some kid at christmas asking for a toy and then when said child doesn't get it becomes resentful and hurt and then begins to scream and cry. What little anything I have, is nothing in comparison and I know that.

I want to be the corner of safety that I was - because I know it helped - and that's all I want.

I'm sorry if I said too much.

J: It's good to put things like this into words, any words. And the only person who can say you've said too much is yourself. Because your words are your own.

Whatever it is, I hope you get through it and feel better.
» yourcupoftea on 2009-01-14 11:42:52

"Do you ever feel like the world is made up of codes and someone forgot to give you the directions? That somehow everyone else knows something that you missed? That you can't see? I feel like that most of the time. "

that is how I feel all the time.
» pyrogrrl12 on 2009-01-21 01:42:02

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