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I didn't come this far
Tuesday. 12.5.06 4:13 pm
for you to make this hard for me.

I got some news today. I've been trying to figure stuff out and I got a bomb thrown on me.

If I thought I had been doing some changing before, if I thought that this past stuff was rough...I believe I'm in for a surprise. Alot's gonna happen to me in a very short amount of time, and it's gonna happen soon.

He's right. I'm not lost. I know where I'm going and where I want to end up. I've got stuff to work towards and for. It's the middle part where I'm having issues. I don't know why that wall is there or why it's so thick. Maybe we're all in need of a forrest fire. You know...a forrest fire. When the forrest begins to choke itself with weeds and too many trees, so they set fire to it. They clear it out so that it can begin again and be healthy in the end for it.

I've got some stuff to learn. I need to learn it fast. But the stuff I gotta learn has always been the hardest for me. In every way it's always been the hardest. However, I know once I accomplish this the rest will be pretty decent smooth sailing. Not only do I have stuff to learn; but even more so, I have stuff to let go of. Previous points of view and ways of thinking, frames of mind and ways of life that I have to alter.

There are things I have done in the past that I can't do anymore. There are ideals that I simply can't live up to anymore. It's hard. It's hard to imagine and it's difficult to believe but it's true and I need to believe in it. I have to because what I'm doing now isn't right - hasn't been right. It felt right and it seemed right but in the end if it's good then it wouldn't be so bad for me as this is.

gah! my eyes hurt.
4 Comments.


Wait...
What's the news? You didn't tell us and I just missed it, right? I can definitely follow what you're saying but I am not sure what conclusion to draw and I am most definitely perturbed that I do not know what the news is. Blast you for leaving me in the dark here!
» etheracide on 2006-12-05 08:05:21

And THEY don't set fire to a forest. It just kinda starts up on it's own. Like, did you know that there's some trees out there that when it gets way too hot, the wax inside of it starts to boil and it BURSTS the tree! It seriously EXPLODES the tree! How awesome is that?!
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» Ted (195.210.3.78) on 2011-07-10 07:25:25

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