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erotic horrorscopes
Sunday. 3.8.09 7:17 pm

This Week's aries Horoscope

You've got guts as the week gets going, and when combined with that big, beautiful heart of yours, the results can only mean great things for your love life. Be bold -- why not? You only live once, and love's worth the risk. But beware of mixed-up priorities around Wednesday and Thursday. What others think of you isn't even in the same realm of importance as what you think of yourself and those near and dear to you. And Friday brings a dramatic rush of energy that continues all through the weekend -- the kind that leads to amazing new understandings and perhaps a sudden glimpse into the future!

 Gender Specific Information on the aries Sign

For Men

For Women

The Ram is more of a tiger where sex is concerned and, like many other sleek animals, loves the hunt -- that steady pursuit of the ultimate prize. Aries is a physical and fearless lover and is blessed with the stamina to go all night long. They are not afraid to experiment sexually in their quest for pleasure, which means an open-minded lover is a must. The Mile-High Club must have been invented for these folks! It's safe to say that Aries' lover must be able to satisfy, or the Ram will move on. The dominant sexual partner will likely be the Ram, and while eroticism is important, a mental connection is also favored by this sign. As if Aries weren't passionate and demanding enough, they also want to be made to feel secure in a sexual relationship, lest jealousy rear its ugly head. The Ram is more of a tiger where sex is concerned and, like many other sleek animals, loves the hunt -- that steady pursuit of the ultimate prize. Aries is a physical and fearless lover and is blessed with the stamina to go all night long. They are not afraid to experiment sexually in their quest for pleasure, which means an open-minded lover is a must. The Mile-High Club must have been invented for these folks! It's safe to say that Aries' lover must be able to satisfy, or the Ram will move on. The dominant sexual partner will likely be the Ram, and while eroticism is important, a mental connection is also favored by this sign. As if Aries weren't passionate and demanding enough, they also want to be made to feel secure in a sexual relationship, lest jealousy rear its ugly head.
Lucky Numbers: 25,29,33,36 Lucky Numbers: 2,5,8,34
Lucky Color: magenta3 Lucky Color: khaki
2

This Week's taurus Horoscope

Cues and clues about life and love are all over the place at the beginning of the week, but you'll need to get grounded in order to decode them. Hint: Your expectations may be totally defied, and that's not necessarily a bad thing! Wednesday and Thursday are days of personal power for you, and that definitely includes added allure and even some romantic idealism which, again, could be very positive! Believe in yourself, and what you're looking for will become instantly clear. If Friday or the weekend brings a clash, well, that's how sparks are created. Be strong -- it's hot.

 Gender Specific Information on the taurus Sign

For Men

For Women

Taurus is one alluring package, thanks in part to their love of beautiful things. Those lucky enough to snare this lover will find that the best, amazingly, has been hidden from view! In private, the Bull is an intense partner, and one quite happy to have sensual encounters go on all night long. The Energizer Bunny of the Zodiac has arrived! These days and nights of play should be punctuated with conversation, fantasies, seduction, even a few edible treats, the better to create the perfect mood. Sex as a release from the more practical aspects of life is often all the Bull wants. If this play date can be scheduled for Taurus's beloved home, all the better, since comfort is always on the Bull's mind. Taurus is one alluring package, thanks in part to their love of beautiful things. Those lucky enough to snare this lover will find that the best, amazingly, has been hidden from view! In private, the Bull is an intense partner, and one quite happy to have sensual encounters go on all night long. The Energizer Bunny of the Zodiac has arrived! These days and nights of play should be punctuated with conversation, fantasies, seduction, even a few edible treats, the better to create the perfect mood. Sex as a release from the more practical aspects of life is often all the Bull wants. If this play date can be scheduled for Taurus's beloved home, all the better, since comfort is always on the Bull's mind.
Lucky Numbers: 10,12,25,37 Lucky Numbers: 4,6,8,16
Lucky Color: SlateBlue Lucky Color: White
 

3

This Week's gemini Horoscope

Your best asset at the beginning of the week isn't a mundane physical attribute, though the stars are sending you an extra glow! No, it's that big, sexy brain of yours. Use your ability to try on others' points of view. Is it a perfect fit? Or at least an interesting contrast? Not everything will be so easy to see on Wednesday and Thursday; appearances in particular are deceiving now. Wait until Friday or the weekend, when deep thought about what you've got combined with fresh new factors favored by the stars will mean amazing developments for your love life. Ready?

 Gender Specific Information on the gemini Sign

For Men

For Women

The Twins aren't asking for much, just someone who will stimulate their mind for a great time. Of course, those mental hijinks need to have a bit of follow-through, so a lover with variety on their mind will score a perfect 10. That said, a quickie in the back seat of a fast car is just what the doctor ordered on some days. Face it, this sign is versatile! Most of all, though, sex is a mental sport for Gemini. The act begins in the head and works its way down and around. Gemini is always in search of the perfect lover and the perfect sexual experience. Once they (hopefully) find it, they will want, and give, stimulation to all the senses, for sight, sound and touch are all important. Bottom line: The Twins want something different and something complete. Not too much to ask, right? The Twins aren't asking for much, just someone who will stimulate their mind for a great time. Of course, those mental hijinks need to have a bit of follow-through, so a lover with variety on their mind will score a perfect 10. That said, a quickie in the back seat of a fast car is just what the doctor ordered on some days. Face it, this sign is versatile! Most of all, though, sex is a mental sport for Gemini. The act begins in the head and works its way down and around. Gemini is always in search of the perfect lover and the perfect sexual experience. Once they (hopefully) find it, they will want, and give, stimulation to all the senses, for sight, sound and touch are all important. Bottom line: The Twins want something different and something complete. Not too much to ask, right?
Lucky Numbers: 7,19,21,25 Lucky Numbers: 1,10,20,30
Lucky Color: SkyBlue Lucky Color: PapayaWhip

4

This Week's cancer Horoscope

Happy Birthday, Cancer! It's easy to be as hot as possible at the beginning of the week -- just take extra good care of yourself. It'll show in your glow! Then on Wednesday and Thursday, your love life may be rife with the kind of complications and crossed wires that are usually reserved for a romantic comedy. Be ready to see the humor and sort out what's really going on! Assuming there's an understanding leads to problems, and luckily on Friday and over the weekend, you'll have a cosmic opportunity to explain yourself. Be calm and go slow -- they'll get it.

 Gender Specific Information on the cancer Sign

For Men

For Women

Like the rest of their life, a sexual encounter with Cancer is much like a slow dance, but if you've got the right moves, you can take the Crab on a torrid tango. Ole! The emotional firepower that can be aroused within Cancer usually manifests itself as a series of wonderful fantasies and less as sexual acrobatics. Either way, it's pure pleasure for both partners. The Crab is also quite intuitive and can generally sense what their lover wants, which makes an encounter between the sheets a finely-tuned union. Cancer's feminine side is often on display in the bedroom, which means the Crab enjoys being made love to. The good news is that the Crab is a very receptive student! With the Crab, sex often equals love and its nurturing aspects (such as home and hearth), so anyone who can appeal to this sign's deep need for security is likely to unleash a volcanic eruption of sensual treats. Being a Water sign, Cancerians are quite fond of sex on the beach or in the sea. Like the rest of their life, a sexual encounter with Cancer is much like a slow dance, but if you've got the right moves, you can take the Crab on a torrid tango. Ole! The emotional firepower that can be aroused within Cancer usually manifests itself as a series of wonderful fantasies and less as sexual acrobatics. Either way, it's pure pleasure for both partners. The Crab is also quite intuitive and can generally sense what their lover wants, which makes an encounter between the sheets a finely-tuned union. Cancer's feminine side is often on display in the bedroom, which means the Crab enjoys being made love to. The good news is that the Crab is a very receptive student! With the Crab, sex often equals love and its nurturing aspects (such as home and hearth), so anyone who can appeal to this sign's deep need for security is likely to unleash a volcanic eruption of sensual treats. Being a Water sign, Cancerians are quite fond of sex on the beach or in the sea.
Lucky Numbers: 9,14,32,38 Lucky Numbers: 25,29,33,36
Lucky Color: DarkGreen Lucky Color: VioletRed


5

This Week's leo Horoscope

You're a roaring good time at the beginning of the week, so don't wait -- live life and embrace love! Who needs plans when you've got such bright spur-of-the-moment ideas -- and such a great sweetheart and/or amazing friends. There's plenty of time to settle down on Wednesday and Thursday, when the stars will be asking you to take a closer look around you. Get grounded, and -- this is key -- listen up. What you hear can help you choose the next steps on your love path on Friday and over the weekend. Careful, now! What you do now has lasting impact.

 Gender Specific Information on the leo Sign

For Men

For Women

As befits a Fire sign, there is a great physicality, white heat and ardor which emanates from the Lion -- in the right circumstances. The Lion wants action first and foremost, and if the moves are being made on them, all the better. When Leos are being made love to (slow, steady love), they are flattered into a state of ecstasy. This kind of approach will help create a Lion who is a very confident lover. Leos are utterly aroused when a partner revels in their beauty and aura and tells them how wonderful it is. As their gracious gift, the Lion will show their partner just how much that compliment meant! The Lion loves seduction and foreplay, and a well-placed mirror or two would be nice, too, since that flowing mane and cat-like quality are begging to be watched. As befits a Fire sign, there is a great physicality, white heat and ardor which emanates from the Lion -- in the right circumstances. The Lion wants action first and foremost, and if the moves are being made on them, all the better. When Leos are being made love to (slow, steady love), they are flattered into a state of ecstasy. This kind of approach will help create a Lion who is a very confident lover. Leos are utterly aroused when a partner revels in their beauty and aura and tells them how wonderful it is. As their gracious gift, the Lion will show their partner just how much that compliment meant! The Lion loves seduction and foreplay, and a well-placed mirror or two would be nice, too, since that flowing mane and cat-like quality are begging to be watched.
Lucky Numbers: 9,14,24,28 Lucky Numbers: 25,29,33,36
Lucky Color: Red Lucky Color: RoyalBlue

6

This Week's virgo Horoscope

A laugh, a look, a message, a kiss -- what's it gonna take to make a love breakthrough as the week begins? The stars say go ahead and try a number of different tactics! Just showing you're making a whole-hearted effort makes the sweet lovin' energy coming your way on Wednesday and Thursday that much better. But look out: Work and romance are somehow intertwined now, which can get sticky. Friday brings new things, and if you want to get romantic about it, try new places and/or faces this weekend. Yes, you love your routine, but you just might add something amazing to it if you branch out.

 Gender Specific Information on the virgo Sign

For Men

For Women

So often, the sizzle in sex is in the details, and Virgo is a master of minutiae. The lover as perfectionist is Virgo personified: someone who will see to it that the little things are never overlooked. Virgos finish what they start in the bedroom, and this cozy chamber is likely to be a dreamy den decorated with discriminating taste. The servant in Virgo is only more than happy to be everything their lover desires; if that lover can bring out Virgo's sensual self, the reward will be a most liberated lover. A cool exterior tends to mask Virgo's wild side, often a fantasy world filled with erotica safely under wraps. The lover who can reach these sexual treats through artful seduction is lucky in love indeed. So often, the sizzle in sex is in the details, and Virgo is a master of minutiae. The lover as perfectionist is Virgo personified: someone who will see to it that the little things are never overlooked. Virgos finish what they start in the bedroom, and this cozy chamber is likely to be a dreamy den decorated with discriminating taste. The servant in Virgo is only more than happy to be everything their lover desires; if that lover can bring out Virgo's sensual self, the reward will be a most liberated lover. A cool exterior tends to mask Virgo's wild side, often a fantasy world filled with erotica safely under wraps. The lover who can reach these sexual treats through artful seduction is lucky in love indeed.
Lucky Numbers: 9,14,32,38 Lucky Numbers: 1,2,5,9
Lucky Color: White Lucky Color: DarkGreen

7

This Week's libra Horoscope

What's the big idea? Get yours out there as the week begins and see what they have to say! It's liable to be 'heck yes!' Then keep a big-picture perspective on Wednesday and Thursday, when whatever's going on with your current crush or significant other is just a part of a greater whole. How does this moment fit with your ideas for the future? Friday ushers in the kind of romantic energy that helps you make those ideas into a lovely reality -- and you've got it going on all weekend long. Sweet!

 Gender Specific Information on the libra Sign

For Men

For Women

Sex is often mental for Air signs, and Libra is no exception. These great communicators are possessed of a strong intellect, and these mental fireworks often manifest themselves in the thorough exploration of a lover. Only the brave need apply! Since the Scales like to be in balance, though, they are often thinking of what both partners want. A marked distaste for confrontation can sometimes be perceived as disinterest on Libra's part, but it's more often just a deep-down desire to please. Libras love seduction and foreplay, and plenty of talk leading to some hot action. If this is all achieved in the right luxurious setting, watch out! Libras swathed in riches are a pleasure to behold. Libra loves the thought of a gifted and attractive partner, since they feel their partner is receiving just that. It's safe to say that a little erotica goes a long way with the Scales, since these folks can be oh-so-playful with their toys. Sex is often mental for Air signs, and Libra is no exception. These great communicators are possessed of a strong intellect, and these mental fireworks often manifest themselves in the thorough exploration of a lover. Only the brave need apply! Since the Scales like to be in balance, though, they are often thinking of what both partners want. A marked distaste for confrontation can sometimes be perceived as disinterest on Libra's part, but it's more often just a deep-down desire to please. Libras love seduction and foreplay, and plenty of talk leading to some hot action. If this is all achieved in the right luxurious setting, watch out! Libras swathed in riches are a pleasure to behold. Libra loves the thought of a gifted and attractive partner, since they feel their partner is receiving just that. It's safe to say that a little erotica goes a long way with the Scales, since these folks can be oh-so-playful with their toys.
Lucky Numbers: 6,8,12,25 Lucky Numbers: 25,29,33,36
Lucky Color: magenta3 Lucky Color: yellow

8

This Week's scorpio Horoscope

Do a little romantic risk assessment as the week gets under way. A small gesture or an invitation that's open to interpretation is better now than putting it all out there. If you two are a good fit, your meaning will be understood! Then you're especially likely to have a bright idea around Wednesday or Thursday, and if you want that light to shine on your love life, go get some collaborative assistance. Who's the best Cupid you know? They'll help you out, no problem. And if Friday or the weekend brings a missed connection or misunderstanding, it's just a cosmic cue to try something new.

 Gender Specific Information on the scorpio Sign

For Men

For Women

The Sex God of the Zodiac has quite a lot to live up to! The Scorpion does just that, thank you very much. The sexual prowess and drive of those born under this sign is legendary. Scorpions smolder with every come-hither look, alluring wink of an eye and mysterious stare. If you want to ride a tiger to an emotional and sexual crescendo, jump on the curvy back of the sleek Scorpion. The Scorpio lover has an almost hypernatural libido, and loves giving sensual pleasure, although receiving it is nice, too. Variety as the spice of life is the golden rule here, and Scorpio loves to choreograph the scene for maximum mutual satisfaction. Any lover stepping into this lair best be ready, since keeping up is a must. Scorpions adore a lover who can go on forever, the perfect gift for this truly sexual being. If that lover brings some toys along, things will be tied up oh-so-neatly. Ooh. The Sex God of the Zodiac has quite a lot to live up to! The Scorpion does just that, thank you very much. The sexual prowess and drive of those born under this sign is legendary. Scorpions smolder with every come-hither look, alluring wink of an eye and mysterious stare. If you want to ride a tiger to an emotional and sexual crescendo, jump on the curvy back of the sleek Scorpion. The Scorpio lover has an almost hypernatural libido, and loves giving sensual pleasure, although receiving it is nice, too. Variety as the spice of life is the golden rule here, and Scorpio loves to choreograph the scene for maximum mutual satisfaction. Any lover stepping into this lair best be ready, since keeping up is a must. Scorpions adore a lover who can go on forever, the perfect gift for this truly sexual being. If that lover brings some toys along, things will be tied up oh-so-neatly. Ooh.
Lucky Numbers: 14,21,25,36 Lucky Numbers: 1,31,32,39
Lucky Color: PapayaWhip Lucky Color: khaki


9

This Week's sagittarius Horoscope

Follow your heart! Your romantic instincts are right on as the week gets going if you just open yourself up to your deepest wisdom. Your own true feelings might take you by surprise! Then around Wednesday and Thursday, seeing things as they are means reorganizing priorities accordingly. Getting grounded now means you're ready to take that next step on your love path -- and whether you're single or coupled up, the stars favor your sweet forward motion on Friday and over the weekend. The thing is, you're open to a number of different directions now. And there's no wrong way to go.

 Gender Specific Information on the sagittarius Sign

For Men

For Women

The Archer is a Fire sign: 'Nuff said, at least where sex is concerned. The initial Sagittarian response where sex is concerned is through physicality, as opposed to emotion or practicality. The Archer is not shy, and like the half beast/half human that he/she represents, is quite the sexual animal. In other words, these folks are always ready! Sagittarians like to enjoy many an erotic experience, in keeping with their outgoing and sociable nature. Their great libido also lends itself best to an artistic and graceful lover, qualities they very much admire. Trying new things is also often on the Archer's mind, and when their lover says sex on the beach, they had best not be referring to a fruity drink. The Sagittarian's thirst for knowledge is often quenched through straight talk in bed, a way to combine two of their favorite pleasures. Sagittarians can also grow to worship a worthy lover, a fitting response to this holiest of acts. The Archer is a Fire sign: 'Nuff said, at least where sex is concerned. The initial Sagittarian response where sex is concerned is through physicality, as opposed to emotion or practicality. The Archer is not shy, and like the half beast/half human that he/she represents, is quite the sexual animal. In other words, these folks are always ready! Sagittarians like to enjoy many an erotic experience, in keeping with their outgoing and sociable nature. Their great libido also lends itself best to an artistic and graceful lover, qualities they very much admire. Trying new things is also often on the Archer's mind, and when their lover says sex on the beach, they had best not be referring to a fruity drink. The Sagittarian's thirst for knowledge is often quenched through straight talk in bed, a way to combine two of their favorite pleasures. Sagittarians can also grow to worship a worthy lover, a fitting response to this holiest of acts.
Lucky Numbers: 6,8,12,25 Lucky Numbers: 2,25,27,32
Lucky Color: Olive Lucky Color: SlateBlue

10

This Week's capricorn Horoscope

You might wanna forget about whatever expectations you've got -- not to mention plans you've made -- in the realm of romance as the week begins. The stars have other things in store, and while you may not be sure where things are going, don't panic. The energy coming around Wednesday and Thursday favors explorations in some pretty sweet directions. You're seriously hot now, and your love life can get lively if you make it your focus! On Friday and this weekend, a splurge isn't as great as getting creative for a lower-pressure, higher-fun date.

 Gender Specific Information on the capricorn Sign

For Men

For Women

Behind that cool Capricorn exterior lies a white-hot interior waiting to be discovered by a worthy lover. Splendor beneath the sheets is likely to be a straight-ahead affair for the Sea Goat, since this practical Earth sign doesn't need anything flashy or fancy to get aroused. The arousal here is from being happily in love, since love and sex do go hand in hand for Capricorn. The Sea Goat is a persistent, passionate and loyal lover, so whoever is on the receiving end is in for a guaranteed good time. While Capricorns abhor being dependent on their lover, they would certainly like to be nurtured by them and exposed to new levels of delight. There is no doubting that the frisky Sea Goat can explode with an understanding, strong and libidinous partner. Behind that cool Capricorn exterior lies a white-hot interior waiting to be discovered by a worthy lover. Splendor beneath the sheets is likely to be a straight-ahead affair for the Sea Goat, since this practical Earth sign doesn't need anything flashy or fancy to get aroused. The arousal here is from being happily in love, since love and sex do go hand in hand for Capricorn. The Sea Goat is a persistent, passionate and loyal lover, so whoever is on the receiving end is in for a guaranteed good time. While Capricorns abhor being dependent on their lover, they would certainly like to be nurtured by them and exposed to new levels of delight. There is no doubting that the frisky Sea Goat can explode with an understanding, strong and libidinous partner.
Lucky Numbers: 8,25,37,39 Lucky Numbers: 4,6,8,16
Lucky Color: RosyBrown Lucky Color: aquamarine

11

This Week's aquarius Horoscope

You've got the kind of soul insight at the beginning of the week that allows instant recognition of all kinds of potential -- with those you're already connected with and those you're just meeting. It's hot! Use it while you've got it -- on Wednesday and Thursday, the meaning of things will be much more obscure. Taking it personally is tempting, but don't make assumptions. Better energy returns on Friday, and will last all through the weekend. Hint: Getting physically active and emotionally balanced are intertwined, and the bonus is the glow you'll get along with the two.

 Gender Specific Information on the aquarius Sign

For Men

For Women

As befits an Air sign, Aquarians tend to approach sex via the mind. If they can share and discuss their thoughts with their lover, matters in bed will be greatly enhanced. Their natural curiosity will also lead them to experiment with creative play between the sheets, so watch out! Pushing the envelope is a natural response for these folks, and they'll continually test the waters for ever greater pleasures. A delicious mystery lurks beneath the surface of these oft-controlled souls, and the lover who can call their bluff is in for a wild ride. The issue of mind vs. body, and which is more important, is also with the Water Bearer. A lover who can convince them of the pleasure principle will set this sexual being free. As befits an Air sign, Aquarians tend to approach sex via the mind. If they can share and discuss their thoughts with their lover, matters in bed will be greatly enhanced. Their natural curiosity will also lead them to experiment with creative play between the sheets, so watch out! Pushing the envelope is a natural response for these folks, and they'll continually test the waters for ever greater pleasures. A delicious mystery lurks beneath the surface of these oft-controlled souls, and the lover who can call their bluff is in for a wild ride. The issue of mind vs. body, and which is more important, is also with the Water Bearer. A lover who can convince them of the pleasure principle will set this sexual being free.
Lucky Numbers: 1,31,32,39 Lucky Numbers: 1,10,20,30
Lucky Color: RoyalBlue Lucky Color: VioletRed

12

This Week's pisces Horoscope

If you've got any kind of romance-related stuff going on in the work environment at the beginning of the week, be smart about it and be particularly aware. Who's looking over your shoulder? Watch the flirtation factor, and double-check who you're sending that email to! Then make any meetings, romantic or otherwise, as one-on-one as possible on Wednesday and Thursday. You'll shine the most in this setting now -- whereas on Friday and this weekend, you'll be the life of the party and a stand out in any crowd. Get out and let the world in on your greatness!

 Gender Specific Information on the pisces Sign

For Men

For Women

Sex is an emotional affair for the Fish, as is the case with much of their lives. Pisces is a sensual and creative lover, adoring playful sex and romping through erotic fantasies. Shyness goes out the door, if it's the bedroom door we're talking about! The Fish has a great appetite for sex and loves to keep things fluid and changeable. If their lover can indulge them in flights of fancy, they'll be primed all night long. For Pisceans, love and sex as a complete union is best, the better to feel safe, free and totally uninhibited. The Fish also loves to please their lover, so this union will definitely sizzle for two. As for the sexiest kind of play, it's in the water for the wet and wild Fish. Sex is an emotional affair for the Fish, as is the case with much of their lives. Pisces is a sensual and creative lover, adoring playful sex and romping through erotic fantasies. Shyness goes out the door, if it's the bedroom door we're talking about! The Fish has a great appetite for sex and loves to keep things fluid and changeable. If their lover can indulge them in flights of fancy, they'll be primed all night long. For Pisceans, love and sex as a complete union is best, the better to feel safe, free and totally uninhibited. The Fish also loves to please their lover, so this union will definitely sizzle for two. As for the sexiest kind of play, it's in the water for the wet and wild Fish.
Lucky Numbers: 25,29,33,36 Lucky Numbers: 12,15,17,19
Lucky Color: Red Lucky Color: AntiqueWhite

1 Comments.


It's not my lucky color, but I'm kind of wondering what exactly "PapayaWhip" is supposed to look like. :P

Also... "horrorscopes"?
» randomjunk on 2009-03-09 06:23:17

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