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Jon?

YOU KNOW THAT I CAN USE SOMEBODEEEEEEEEEEH! YOU KNOW THAT I CAN USE SOMEBODEEEEEEH... SOMEONE LIKE YOU AND ALL YOU KNOW AND HOW YOU SPEAK... COUNTLESS LOVERS UNDER COVER OF THE STREET-- YOU KNOW THAT I CAN USE SOMEBODY........ YOU KNOW THAT I CAN USE SOME
Wednesday. 12.3.08 9:12 am
“Where are you going?” Ben asks me as he watches me maneuver my way across the messy living room to the front door. Maybe he's genuinely curious about my whereabouts. Perhaps he wants to tag along. Maybe he's a spy for the powers that be and is keeping detailed logs about my comings and goings. Whatever the case, every time he sees me head for the door, he asks me the same question and I reply with the same answer: "Away from you."



Benjamin has fallen down the JRR(Jon Roommate Ranking) as of late. At the beginning of the semester, he was tied for 2nd place with Matthew, a kid I roomed with for a year who was oblivious to the hideous noises he made while breathing. He's now down to five.

1.John: John was a kindred spirit to me. He was highly intelligent, like Benjamin, but he was never one to partake in bullshit philosophy debates, like Benjamin. He was dirty though.. hardly ever bathed or washed his hands, so I often hesitated when touching stuff in his room. The best thing about hanging out with John in public was our simultaneous response whenever we heard our name called.

2.Aaron: We've bonded recently over our adoration of one Hannah F. Montana. ( Two guesses on what the F stands for.)

3.Matthew: Lived with him for a year. He used to tell me about how people get caned in Singapore and that people aren't allowed to spit.

4.Adrian: Adrian and I had some good times.. We had History together freshman year and every day when we'd come back to our dorm, we'd kick the door open,
start yelling as loud as we could, stomp to our rooms, clap our hands, bang on the walls, and then slam our doors shut. Our rooms were adjacent to one another and we'd either yell into the wall or call one another whenever we wanted the other's attention instead of getting up and walking.

5.Ben: Ate my baked doritos. Ate my cheese. Ate my soul. Why isn't he lower...

6.Albert: Probably my favorite roommate because we don't speak to one another often.

7.Chern: Foreign exchange student who moved back to Malaysia. Eh.. nothing against 'em

8.Kyle: Moved in beginning of summer, left middle of summer.

9.Alex: Ate my baked doritos. Dead to me.


I'll be adding eleven more names to that list in a few weeks when I head out to D.C. I'll be living in a house on Capitol Hill with the top students of the University of Texas system..

I hope none of them eat my doritos.
21 Comments.


Nobody, not nobody should eat a man's baked Doritos. O, the humanity!
» Zanzibar on 2008-12-03 10:31:12

I hope they are clever enough to know that they shouldn't eat your baked Doritos.
» Nuttz on 2008-12-03 11:17:39

If Ben ate your baked Doritos, your cheese, and your sould, shouldn't he be lower than Alex?
» randomjunk on 2008-12-03 04:14:48

Maybe some of them, but I don't know any who have lists of guys they'd want to have kinky sex with or anything. :S
» randomjunk on 2008-12-03 06:30:12

My friend said "nasty things," so I assumed that meant kinky stuff. I guess just normal sex falls under that category, though...
» randomjunk on 2008-12-03 06:51:52

I know, it's bad.


I'll get around to a new post soon, I promise.
» Chloefoxx on 2008-12-03 07:03:06

I would never ever eat your baked Doritos. Not even if you offered them because I would know it was a test to our friendship.
» Bizzle_whore on 2008-12-03 07:44:10

seems like lots of ppl keen on ur baked doritos... make it sounds yummy to me.. haha i also want some... :P

RYN: oh.. do she like twilight movie ?
ah just the chef wanted to make the food name Fancy... so they have all the food names from all around the world...

maybe the scary movies should do a part about the food menu... haha Yamaha Chicken, Mitsubishi grilled fish and etc.. @@''
» jolenesiah on 2008-12-03 09:13:07

I think it's like 7.5 hours driving, but only an hour by plane, and sometimes on Southwest you can get a roundtrip for about ~$80. I have family in DC, and some friends, I can't see why I WOULDN'T have to come to DC for SOME REASON in the next... how long do I have? It might even be fun to drive. Or take the train, maybe, though that's expensive.... Have you seen this article?

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations
» Zanzibar on 2008-12-03 09:56:50

maybe we can meet in NYC, that's about halfway ;)
» Zanzibar on 2008-12-03 09:57:17

yes, math sucks.
you know what else sucks?








a vacuum.

yes, shakespeare IS overrated.

Shaneen was sick last week =[
Shaneen has 3 weeks OF school before winter break starts. woot!

Any celebration of food > no food at all.

Yuck. Salt water. [I AGREE!]

I'm done too x.x
» ShaShaBoo on 2008-12-03 10:22:09

damnit Jon
I was drawn to this blog by the obnoxiously long title that sprawls across the Nutang homepage. I assure you, that is the ONLY reason why I am here.

If I'm not mistaken, I believe the F in Hannah F. Montana stands for fart. 500 PPS please, paper notes only, no checks or debit.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2008-12-04 04:38:28

I got it.
I got the red ring of death. The one that only Microsoft can fix.

What ironic timing.
» middaymoon on 2008-12-04 02:10:17

When and for how long are you going to DC?
» bananaface on 2008-12-04 07:05:43

baked. doritos...
» (68.95.164.172) on 2008-12-05 05:52:57

my bad. that was me ^
» michelle denise gomez maese (68.95.164.172) on 2008-12-05 05:53:32

It's not bad, but it's not awesome. It's so-so. Believe it.

My problem with watching is anime (especially since I watch about 99% of it online) is that once I start, I can't stop. If I stop, I feel terrible. So I'm trying to finish the whole series. I mean, it's an interesting concept. It definitely could be imrpove, but it's not as bad as some other animes I've seen.
» Ajibalaji89 on 2008-12-06 04:59:14

oh and jorb is job from homestarrunner. That's one of the few things I remember watching from that site so many years back.
» Ajibalaji89 on 2008-12-07 10:46:21

9.Alex: Ate my baked doritos. Dead to me.

That is hilarious. A tad melodramatic, if I dare, but hilarious. :P
» Illicit on 2008-12-08 06:14:00

Yes, why isn't Ben lower? He ate your baked Doritos AND cheese! That would be my requirements for last place right there. Oh and the soul eating.

And ryc: you're welcome.
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» Emanuel (60.217.232.70) on 2010-09-03 05:10:41

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