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Saturday. 7.28.07 12:30 pm
Of all these friends and lovers
Theres no one who compares to you

"I'm sorry, Jon, but can you read that aloud once more? And louder, so the class can hear you?"
I lowered my head, trying to bury my face between the scribbled lines.

"She yelled for me to shut the door without even glancing up from her line of cocaine. "
"You know, Jon… you're just like gravity; always keeping me from my high."

The previously jovial class succumbed to silence--- the last thing I wanted to hear. I kept my head down until my teacher broke the silence "Well… see what good writing can do?"

"Like a mad scientist,"says Anthony after class.
"You're like a mad scientist, with the way you write. Was that all true? I mean, did that really happen?"

The truth? Partially. I wasn't actually there whenever she did her drugs.. But I was as much a witness to the self destruction as one can be via telephone wires; however, my ability to narrate this story can not be abridged--- I watched the girl I knew and loved as a sixth grader become an individual marred by avarice for half a decade. The conversation actually took place over phone. And no, she didn't say the bit about gravity. She was never one to recite prose--- only read it. The thing that I admire most about the Woman is her desire to read. To read words, to read lines, to read stanzas, to read stories, to read novels, to read epics.
To read me.

"There were times when I could just look at you and know exactly what was going on in your head."

I scoffed. Not aloud, but in my head. You? Read me? No one can penetrate this facade of ice I've enclosed myself in. No on--

Some struggle with lust; not my particular cup of tea. Others fight a battle with gluttony, and outside of the occasional fruit snack binge, I'm winning that fight. Greed? I give my money away alot. Sloth? Yeah, I'm a pig.. but not that much of one. Envy and Wrath aren't for me.. That leaves us with Pride.
Pride is what I struggle with. I just listed six sins that I have little problem with, and for what? Pride. The sin so great that it split the heavens--- The sin that caused Yahweh to revoke Lucifer's membership card for.(Anyone catch that allusion? PPS to you.)

A personal statement is supposed to tell who we are. Transcripts and standardized test scores show what we've done… but not who we are. She had a role in making me who I am. Does this mean that I've played a role in who she is? Who she was? And if so... am I solely a good influence? No. Am I purely a bad influence? No. We all leave the good and the bad in the impressions we make upon people and I pray that I made more good than bad. After all, we've all got our demons. She's no longer my angel, though.

Recommended by 4 Members
Dilated lyndeep middaymoon mynameisanh

And I thought my life was complicated...
» lyndeep on 2007-07-28 01:59:24

yeah, I know who Y & L are, and that whole story.
I think everyone who as ever played any part in someone's life helped make them who they are today. Even people who might not have done much, or shared very little time. If it meant SOMEthing, then I believe they helped sculpt that person. Made them think about things in different lights, etc.

Every person counts, whether either party knows it or not.
» invisible on 2007-07-28 03:53:54

You fell in love with your teacher??
» Nuttz on 2007-07-28 10:52:20

She isn't Anh...is she?

Ahh...silence. Gotta love those awkward moments. I never understood why people would do lines or smoke or whatever. There are better ways to entertain yourself, I thought that was obvious.

Well you've got a few less sins to deal with than me -_-.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-07-29 01:23:48

LOL at Nuttz's comment.
Also at you and your fruit snacks.

I think you could have been a cowboy in a previous life. The whole pride thing and the facade... I wonder if you can get boots in size 15.

Also, I like the way you scoff in your head. I do that too.

(The hotel lobby is empty now and I think I should go to bed).
» Sarah on 2007-07-29 01:35:11

I really liked it too.... :)
» Princess_00 on 2007-07-29 01:43:33

I don't know.. It just came into my mind.. that question..
» Nuttz on 2007-07-29 07:22:52

Sounds complicated...
» alexsedotcx on 2007-07-30 01:09:33

RE: comment
Yeah no bunnies but the lady said I could contribute my suggestions?? Just kidding!!!
» KKama67 on 2007-07-31 11:39:21

that was really something, i wish i could write like that xP sad story too
» iheartpullips on 2007-07-31 05:14:12

My pokemon is SOOO cute.

And remember:
Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW.

I know how you respect the law.

And --insert something meaningful and relevant here--

» Zanzibar on 2007-08-01 09:48:42

I know of this song that immediately popped into my head at those last two sentences. Only thing, I'm having trouble remembering both the title and artist.

Drugs... I've wondered if I influenced my friends into doing them, or at the very least, if I could've prevented it...

But in the end, you won't do much help wondering if it was your fault as you would if you did everything you could to help them quit.
» Le_Jes on 2007-08-02 08:11:37

Yeah, I mean everyone has a few bad qualities. I don't know, I can't stand being around people with a temper. Haha, and I see that in most people when it comes to road rage.
» Cher_lyn on 2007-08-03 03:18:54

you write very well, ever heard of eliteskills.com??
» AmbyrJayde on 2007-08-04 04:20:32

Actually, maybe she could have seen you scoffing in your head...

P.S. I might be going to San Antonio next week...!
» Sarah on 2007-08-05 05:59:56

Really? I'm honestly not a fan of it. =]
» alexsedotcx on 2007-08-05 08:57:54

It is really long, but it's interesting!
» alexsedotcx on 2007-08-05 11:12:27

myspace is for the BORED.
» Neus on 2007-08-06 12:42:19

Thanks for the recommendation!
» alexsedotcx on 2007-08-07 01:11:45

Pride's always the hardest one to break. But I think, in the end, you just learn to deal with it... :-/
And if she had an influence in your life, then yes, you must have touched hers somehow. :)
&& Yes, my foul-mouthed, perverted, slacker friend has more issues in his head. Cheer up! :)
» frostbitten on 2007-08-07 12:49:23


++I like the way you write. :]
» Bizzle_whore on 2007-08-08 08:35:00

XDD Gotta love having no shame.
» Bizzle_whore on 2007-08-08 08:49:51

Totally agree with the pride
Once you've think you ahve got something under your control, but it goes bad, it's very hard for you to admit that and to swallow down your pride... It SUCKS big time..
» Xboyz on 2007-08-09 12:21:09

You know how I do!

Today I was listening to a song called Gravity and it reminded me of you.

Also, San Antonio was awesome... Even if you weren't there. I didn't know there was a river!
» Sarah on 2007-08-09 10:58:16

I get out of school in '11. That doesn't even have an "0" in front of it. That's how far away it is. "The Class of Eleven" that sounds sooo lame. And that's if I'm lucky and I don't have to stay longer.
» Zanzibar on 2007-08-10 11:02:34

dang you are an incredible writer.
way to go on your part. your writing really makes me think.
» bananaface on 2007-08-11 09:32:46

HAHA. Thanks.

Other NuTangers could possibly make more amazing layouts than I can.

I'll think about it? I can't promise you though. I still haven't figured out what I should make for MY new layout! =/
» ShaShaBoo on 2007-08-11 04:35:13

Gee Jon, you're the most popular guy on Nutang. We all love you so much. It would certainly be swell if you would UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#@()$*$#@(%*)@$*(#@%
» Zanzibar on 2007-08-11 05:10:24

What do you write about? You should put it in "writings" :D
» Zanzibar on 2007-08-12 01:07:49

Bahaha! Not your type? Too masculine?
... Are you being sarcastic? (I'm not very good at detecting sarcasm).
He wasn't all that masculine. He had all the history memorised, but he kept talking too fast and stumbling. And then my dad asked him a stupid question and embarrassed me.
» Sarah on 2007-08-12 08:26:12

AND I uploaded more pictures!
» Chloefoxx on 2007-08-13 12:21:34

Oh, I forgot about that.

Nah, you can keep it. I don't even know how people keep stumbling upon my gallery anyway.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-08-13 12:41:28

Fedora number two was just walking on the sidewalk. :P Didn't talk to him.
» randomjunk on 2007-08-13 09:31:32

Password to my thingie =

If I could sit down and write something like yours out each time...
I would be a very proud blogger.
» Unicornasaurus on 2007-08-14 03:17:25

Shoot, wait, I was wrong.

foxofsatin. I get my fabrics mixed up.
» Unicornasaurus on 2007-08-14 03:18:40

I surely did!
Gotta problem, busta?
» Sarah on 2007-08-15 11:29:32

» middaymoon on 2007-08-19 11:49:22

I do believe I did
call you a tater.

Would you prefer to be a POtater? I can make it happen.
» Unicornasaurus on 2007-08-19 09:45:45

This is negotiable.
» Unicornasaurus on 2007-08-20 02:59:13

» invisible on 2007-08-21 12:46:11

pure sad. i have a friend similar to ur ex-angel too except she's not on drugs but tossing friendship like some kind of clothe.
» renaye on 2007-08-22 04:24:52

Wow, I didn't read this the first time.
Dude, this really hits me. I mean, I've only been around for so long, and I don't write out everything, but the seven sins thing is pretty much the same for me. This is great.
» middaymoon on 2007-08-24 07:47:09

Whoa, am I the only one who hasn't commented? Well, yes, here I am. Good luck with that. I mean, life.

Oh, and we love you~~!
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