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Jon?

Sunday. 1.8.06 10:34 pm
Wish I could prove I love you
But does that mean I have to walk on water
When we are older you'll understand
It's enough when I say so


She wrote her name, drew a heart, and my name underneath it in my spiral on the last day of class. She had basically been busy the entire class, talking with this model-esque guy and model-esque girl in the front of the class while I stayed in the back with my friends, picking my nose and making jokes.( Not so much picking my nose, but telling jokes yeah.)
She sits up in the front.. or sat, up in the front with the hollister crowd. I sat in the back with thisblack/white guy with really long hair who plays his PSP and sells bootleg movies and CD's, a reforming drug addict, and my friend Samantha who I chose to sit by instead of her at the beginning of the school year. Although I wonder how that semester would've ended up if I had made a different choice, I don't regret it.

So she wrote her name and all that stuff in class, and during our last walk from economics to her PC class the following period, I asked her why she did and what it meant. She just looked at me with a weird smile, shook her head and said just what it said, and told me to just accept it. So I did, after playing kingdom hearts and hearing those lyrics above. I had been seeking an explanation for her feelings, the feelings she claimed to have for me.. I accept it, but I didn't and still don't understand why, and to what extent she cares. However, I've decided to let it go.

Over the christmas break, I made attempts to get close to two others, both of whom showed interest in me before.. Girl one was/is bipolar. On her good days and d uring our good dates, she'd be real energetic and treat me well and I loved spending time with her. On her bad days, she'd treat em as though I wasn't someone she was concerned with. Sadly, the last time I asked her out, over the summer, was one of her bad days and it made me realize that I didn't really want that unstablity in my life.

Girl two was a keeper. I was relaly attracted to her, had been since the 8th grade, and when she approached me and asked me out I oculd hardly believe it. She expressed her interest right away, and I went into the whole ' flight or fight ' mode of nature, where when you feel threatened you either fight or flight, or freeze as I did. She got tired of waiting for me it seems, and let me go. Thus, there I was during the X-mas break deleting all three love interests like myspacers delete braincells by skimming through profiles and looking up emo/provocative/disturbing pictures of themselves.

(nutang>myspace,xanga,livejournal,deadjournal. Not so much ujournal,I loved that thing.)

So the new year started, and with each new year comes a new birthday for me since its the thirteenth of Janurary. In five days, I'll be eight teen. I remember the first time I truly understood the concept of time as I do today. I was in the sixth grade, it was the ninth of september, 1999 or some datel ike that, and my math teacher told us " Think.. this is the last thursday, the last ninth of semptember of the year 1999 ever," and I thought " Wow,..." I'll be eigthteen in a few days, and I can't help but wonder about all the choices I've made in my short life that has brought me to this keyboard at this precise moment. You know how in the Matrix, Neo has to pick between the blue or red pill or whatever and how that can change reality?Those decisions are ones we face daily if you think about it.. if I had chosen not to sit by Samantha and tried to stay afloat in the shallow water I claim to be my infatuations, where would I be? Who would I be?

18 Comments.


Ok......
so I read your entry, was interesting as always. What's the challenge?
» KatnicityAnnToTheMax on 2006-01-09 04:14:07

Yeah, man
Your the kind of guy I'd smoke a joint with. Very mature and articulate. As for you love-life/girls deal. Don't get caught up on just one girl. Not only is this bad in the long run, you lose the chance to meet some really interesting girls, girls you would normally avoid if you already had a girl you were stuck on one girl. That's advice I took and I'm worlds more happier with it. Believe me.
» DeeVeuS on 2006-01-09 12:21:43

You told us we had a chance to earn....
pps points if we read your entry. I assumed there would be a challenge, lol. Unless you're just going to pay us pps points anyway.
» KatnicityAnnToTheMax on 2006-01-09 05:52:23

That guys got attitdude
he kicks everyone on my page.
» redintersectsme on 2006-01-10 12:19:25

Well actually I live in Denver, I'm just going to Washington to date rocks. You know, I tend to date rocks instead of boys. But you're right, everyone lives in Washington these days and I don't know why, because they should all live in Denver, the best city on Earth. ;)
» Zanzibar on 2006-01-10 02:38:41

I can jog with four legs, three legs, five legs, etc.
» Yenamaboya on 2006-01-11 05:46:54

the voucher is for me sending off my computer in july, getting back my data and display, but not computer, and sending it back off in october to have it fixed... but they wrote it off as a "dead comp" because they messed up.
» ikimashokie on 2006-01-11 07:20:00

The 10:53 picture...
I stayed up until 11:00 on the first school night this year...that to prove it. :)
» bilingual on 2006-01-11 08:12:10

aaaaah
i was going to do my whole "vote for monkeymeister" campain thing which by all means you can sitll do.. but now i feel like saying that basically the excat same thing happened to me..
» monkeymeister on 2006-01-11 09:48:09

Where do you think you'll go to school?
» Zanzibar on 2006-01-12 01:05:56

Thanks loads
And a happy eighteenth birthday to you. :)
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-13 07:32:11

Happy Birthday Anyway.
I read, because it was interesting and I was listening to some thrilling rock music that was playing like the sound track to your romantic story. Happy Birthday!
» Orikinla Osinachi (193.133.99.236) on 2006-01-13 08:37:45

Hey there, HAPPPY BIRTHDAY 2 YAS!!!!!
» CPKviperpheonix on 2006-01-13 10:25:03

hey bub did u get my msg? just in case "HAPPY BELATED BDAY" Jess
» Phoid_hearted on 2006-01-14 11:49:20

Gah JON ..Happy belated birthday
» your_in_safe_mode on 2006-01-16 10:09:43

Girl one, girl two, girl three... You hoeeeeeeeee. =)
» juiCyy on 2006-01-16 02:22:13

woah! we have the same birthday. only you're a year older.
» okidpokie on 2006-06-19 04:00:01

Certainly. So happens.
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» Eliseo (118.99.80.175) on 2010-09-02 04:37:34

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