The only thing left after awhile
Tuesday. 11.15.05 12:08 am
Your hand slipped awayAs I watched..I watched you fall
The look he gave me when he saw us together was the type of look I'd get from one of my football coaches when I didn't fight hard enough, took a play off or something. That gaze that doesn't have to be accompanied by a shout, yell, scream, even a whisper. All he needed was that left to right nod while his head was tilted back for me tog et the full message.
He doesn't like her much. She doesn't like him much either, although they were once two of my closest ' friends. ' Now, I consider .. I consider her a friend. I walk with her friendly, talk with her friendly, embrace her friendly, although I'm missing her still. With him, ... I found it easy to let him go. Didn't have to think twice about our relationship going down south, and even though he extended his hand out ot me multiple times I kind of just shook it off. I matured quicker than he did, and his immature jokes and actions turned me off despite whatever friendship we once had. We had lunch today after about two years or so, and it was kind of awkward at moments. He's got a fancy car that he's poured alot of money, attention, and time into. He's a state ranked wrestler, works at some kind of pet shop for his mom, and looks as mature and respectable as a seventeen year old could, but in my eyes he's that kid who'd fart in english class and only half open his mind to new things, people, and places. The only reason why we were friends was because he half opened his mind to me in the seventh grade when I moved to this part of town, and he accepted me into his group. I was introverted, talkedl ittle and wrote alot back then, and was apart of a million school clubs. From football and track to journalism and band, I was across the spectrum. The best thing I did throughout HS so far was dropping all of that stuff, dropping all the labels and titles like " Footballer Jon, band member jon, Journalist Jon, Photographer Jon ', so that all I don now is ' Jon '(sometimes Jonathan). Although I shed alot of the relationships I forged in those crafts( I can't hang out in the lockerroom or the bandhall anymore with those people), I've kept some of them.. His just wasn't one. Nor was hers for awhile.
I saw her a few days ago at a pizza shop on a day she skipped school after having a nightmare. She was by herself, talking to someone on the phone and I was talking to a girl I was with til I spotted her, threw my arms around her, and squeezed. Few minutes later, her boyfriend came running in ( Literally running ), along with alot of other people so I decided to slip out. I guess partially because of him, and because of the other ten, twenty people who she was meeting up with. One of them, her best friend, saw me and hugged me as though we were friends. I just kind of stood there, a little... yeah. On my way out I saw alot of people I used to talk to alot and took part in the small talk
" Hey, haven't seen you in awhile"
" Yeah. "
Okay, so maybe I didn't take part in the small talk. I put forth an effort, one syllable words = effort. One syllable word = Friend. After having lunch with him and spending my morning with her, I'm able to reflect back on what makes them different in my mind, and why I consider her a friend and him just someone I used to know. Maybe its the bi-daily contact Ih ave with her opposed to the once a week hall-way nod I've got with 'em. or maybe its because I'm mad at him for allt the racist or ignorant or dumbass comments and actions over the years that I never experienced with her.
Or maybe it's because she's got prettier eyes.
RIP Eddie Guerrero
Beautiful, as always.
PS. SHE DOES HAVE PRETTIER EYES! haha Playing. »
(18.104.22.168) on 2005-11-15 12:46:52
that was me, btw! »
MOMO (22.214.171.124) on 2005-11-15 12:47:03
maybe it's because she's got womanly wiles like a siren.
I always work in the warehouse during the summer, and then go to Cali for college during the rest of the year. So the set of people to talk about switches back and forth.
I'll write an update about my buddy Mark from the warehouse and his crazy cousin that I just learned about sometime, though. They work at the warehouse all year long, except for T who goes to school like me. » Zanzibar
on 2005-11-15 02:04:06 o.o -blinks-
Not sure I know what to say. I can't say I've ever really been in that sort of situation...I don't usually know a lot of people, so rather than putting forth and effort of...any sort...I'm usually the one edging away to some quiet corner...
It sounds like you like her a lot though. I dunno, if she's got a boyfriend, then I wouldn't really push your luck, but I see no harm in you hanging out with her more. Who knows, she might end up breaking up with him...wow, I'm bad with words. Sorry if I'm not much of a help. >.< » SilverWolf
on 2005-11-15 06:57:18
the thing is that...i hate change...so to stop being friends with them is kinda like death to me...but still...i dunno..
interesting. » Ajibalaji89
on 2005-11-15 05:48:24
hey thanks for the comment... sorry about the line breaks, i normally use them but i was in a rush and wasn't in the mood really for being organized. I shall keep it in mind tho. later gator. » xXxshegzxXx
on 2005-11-15 06:40:35 haha
I dont update that much. And I work at Mcdonalds...lol, but I love my job. =) » Manda103
on 2005-11-15 08:06:08 hey
ya, i did get to play some games. they didnt have any new ones though » theangstronaut
on 2005-11-19 11:24:51
everytime I read your entries it just wants to make me cry... So Emotional... I hope that things are getting better for you! » Such_A_Babeh_Face
on 2005-11-29 02:54:22
the sun doesnt exist in blacksburg... » ikimashokie
on 2005-12-15 05:54:40
Yea.. we used to be able to exempt until the year before we got there.. they stopped it. Unlucky for us.. » BeeJay
on 2005-12-15 08:37:47
thanx man~ » merrick
on 2005-12-16 10:26:40
thanks for the comment. i'm not from houston tho i just missed my flight there from a layover. lol » rand0m_ness
on 2005-12-21 06:39:48
update more! :D
on 2005-12-29 03:59:44
Making a list to thank everyone who commented on my blog in 2005 - you did - thank you! List to post later today. Best wishes for 2006! » Marti
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