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Sunday. 8.21.05 5:47 pm
One day Mary, She got tired
And left me on my own
I wonder if mary knows...
That I'm all alone?

I changed my classes around to take a course with both her and another friend. Once the bell rang the first day I took the class, we both waited til all the other students cleared out and it was just me, her, and the teacher. She stood up to leave, looked at me and began to speak.. I'm not sure what she said since it was five days ago, but I remember feeling like a freshman all over again while I waited for her to finish her sentance so that I could ask her if it would be alright if I walks her to her next class. She just smiled again, and nodded her head.

The walk lasted seven minutes, and for the next 47 hours all I could look forward to was the next walk. I remember putting an arm around her and pulling her close and wondering if I smelled bad before the bell rang to start the next class,.. I ended up being late for anatomy that day. I remember the way she smiled to herself after I asked her if it would be okay if I treated her now how she'd used to treat me three years ago when she'd search for me just to hug me, and if it would be alright if I could exchange the usual ' Hey, how are you ' greeting for an embrace, even though thats against school conduct.

That day I came home and sat around watching soap opears because I got out early.. and during the commercials, all I could think of was how even when I had an arm around her, even when it seemed as though we were succeeding in regaining what we once had, I wanted more than just seven minutes. I also wanted to not have to think of her so much, so I went to Barnes and Nobles that afternoon and got an application.. went the next day with a friend there, and acouple more cafes to get applications.

I figure that if I'm working, studying, occupying myself with something other than watching love stories, my mind conjure up the image of the way her eyes would light up with each sincere smile, or the contrast between the boy she knew back then hiding within his football helmet, band instrument and other highschool stereotypes, and the guy struggling to pick up the pen to write his own story.

My favorite part.
"the contrast between the boy she knew back then hiding within his football helmet, band instrument and other highschool stereotypes, and the guy struggling to pick up the pen to write his own story."
» juiCyy on 2005-08-21 10:12:16

I hope you don't take this offensively, but judging from how you write and what you have to say, you're much more in touch with your feelings and being more than any guy I've known, it seems.

This girl must really be something. The way you speak of her makes her appear very intriguing and I want to know more about her.
» lucidblur on 2005-08-22 12:58:06

this has nothing to do with your entry...
haha but i read your comment on michelle's and i was gonna let you know candy apples are real apples, they just have a candy coat on them:)haha
» nrtnSCorporate on 2005-08-22 06:12:19

and thanks fr the comment on my layout:)
» nrtnSCorporate on 2005-08-22 06:14:55

i'd SO avoid your blog if i was suffering from a break up.
» theZEBRA on 2005-08-22 08:03:31

you should definitely check them out. especially as a romantic type you seem to be, you would like them. theyre amazing. :) plus i like your background.
» samuwamu on 2005-08-22 02:28:56

It's so innocent!
This feeling is so innocent and sweet. I find that even a simple embrace can mean the world, simple love is the greatest love. :) Your are a good writer!
» von-nation on 2005-08-23 02:44:48

the song is by Boomkat. it's called look at all the people. maybe i can get it to play on nutang. but i gotta figure out how first. lol
» OldSchooler on 2005-08-23 10:46:40

hold that love
you will never be able to occupy yourself to the point of not thinking about it. trust me. i've been there... twice. lol, hold her when you can. treat her nice, love is meant to be felt not understood, cherished but not smothered, love is wonderful and yet horrifing. well..... i lost my train of thought. keep it up.
» lostsoul on 2005-08-23 07:42:14

I need some. I ate 3 bags already, NO JOKE.
» juiCyy on 2005-08-23 07:43:06

occupying yourself is good. I'd probably do that. But I occupy myself by reading. I'm such a dork xP haha xoxxo
» Phoid_hearted on 2005-08-23 11:35:05

Its all about floating... you remind me of when I use to feel that all was right in this world...
» CONDESCENDme on 2005-08-24 02:26:06

I actually met her mom, and she asked me if I was the guy that made the pillows. Since I look rough, and I'm a big guy, I don't look like the type that'd do that. It's not that she was mad about me missing her, it's just that I don't like to lose opportunities to talk to her.
» DarkDragonKnight on 2005-08-24 03:49:50

Your compositions touch my heart. I use to be like that once for a former love, keeping myself as occupied as possible as to not remove myself from reality and get lost in my world of imagination. But then, after I realized the intensity of it all, I was only occupying myself to not just stop thinking about them, but to embrace what I had become as a person.
» bifocalLs on 2005-08-24 05:53:18

This entry sounds like the beginning of some diary-style book. When the happy ending comes, write that book. You'll make tons of money. ;]
» chocobopnai on 2005-08-24 09:52:14

Yep..i do 2
» Jinaiah on 2005-08-25 12:01:55

Wow.. I'm jealous of all your comments..
» BeeJay on 2005-08-25 09:17:13

*sighs dramatically*
I wish someone felt that way about meee
» KatnicityAnnToTheMax on 2005-08-26 09:14:46

why can't more guys be like you i would kill for a guy to feel even close to what you feel for this girl
» erinnicole96 on 2005-08-26 03:50:02

You know, it's not even so much being ahead, it's more like, Just knowing stuff and not having to concentrate hardly at all.
» redintersectsme on 2005-08-26 07:46:27

awwwww.... man i feel like im gonna cry... such sweet, sweet words... Why can't half the guys on this damn planet be just like you... *sighs*
» Such_A_Babeh_Face on 2005-08-26 08:46:48

in response to your comment
It depends on the nature of the topic in doubt. For something like a theory or legend, I need evidence to convince me of its verisimilitude.
» Papagoya on 2005-08-26 10:14:01

i forgot if the third one has giant bunnies...but i was playing the second one. i was levelling in the cave of trials and it freezes when i was about to leave to save. =(
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