watching: Edward Scissorhands, my favorite!!!!!
listening to: the t.v.
mood: so sleepy!!
Here's a letter Michael Moore wrote to conservative radio talk show host Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I thought it was funny and I'm sure you will too:
Dear Dr Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with
as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from
you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow
them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the oder is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do I
tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed posess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself?
f) A friend of mine fells that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev.11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
didn't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the alter of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27
How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread. (Cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16). Couldn't
we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with
people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Michael Moore
Feedback is always nice.
nice!
edward scissorhands is a pimp.
» samuwamu on 2004-10-14 07:45:11
Brilliant
1. Edward Scissorhands is my all time favorite movie.... Johnny Depp is tooooo FYNE!
2. *rotflmao* Sometimes I can't stand Michael Moore... Other times he's a crack-up with a good point! He wins this one.
» allamericangypsygirl on 2004-10-14 07:48:03
that iss great!
i always wondered why i cant own canadians...
» monkeymeister on 2004-10-14 11:35:09
wow, b) and e) are quite intriguing.
I would like to purchase some slaves.
» dave on 2004-10-15 10:05:41
wow
I concur with dave, b) and e) are interesting. I always thought people who used religion in their arguments are arrogant as fuck. This is by far the greatest example of how stupid it really is.
» eXiled on 2004-10-17 04:56:24
thnx
well im glad..but i dont think the skool thing will make any diff now, i lost all my frenz...how pathetic, i chill with my sis and her friend...but i have a few friends, but i dont consider them as frenz, does that make sense? well if not, i mean i dont consider them as tru frenz...
» aznDOLLface on 2004-10-29 08:06:25
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