Friday. 10.23.04 10:46 pm
I told myself I
wasn't going to cry. I didn't cry during the prayer or anything. I just had my head down most of the time, but once the prayer ended and they were letting everyone go see Joel in his casket I started getting
nervous. I walked with Phillip and as soon as we got halfway down the aisle I was getting
scared and I started to tear up. Each step closer I squeezed the life out of Phillip's hand, not even kidding. There was like 4 people ahead of us and that's when I couldn't help it. The tears just kept on coming and like honetly just remembering seeing Joel in his casket makes me
cry as of now. I had my head down and the first thing I saw was the
rosary in his hands, that's when I looked at his face. He looked so
calm and
peaceful as if he was just
sleeping. Fuck. I can't believe he's
gone. I know I wasn't all that close with him, but dude I miss him already. Just seeing him lay there.. i'm
speechless. All it brings is just tears to my eyes. After I gave Jeremi and Juni a hug and I was just crying, up until we were already outside. It
hurts that someone as
wonderful as Joel had to simply
give up. Everyone loved him and he was always a
positive person and his friends are lucky they had a friend like him. And now he's watching over everyone as of now. =]
God Bless you Joel and the Rafael Family. <3
If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.