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�In wilderness is the preservation of the world.� - Henry David Thoreau

"The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war." - Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit

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An Excerpt on Grace
Monday. 7.9.12 2:15 pm
A little reading I came across in one of my textbooks awhile back. I came across this again recently and thought I should share it because it has affected me more so than most of the random required readings for school and I think it's something we could all use a reminder of now and again.



" Finally, an important principle to keep in mind during conflict is that grace is some-times appropriate. Although the idea of grace has not traditionally been discussed in communication texts, it is an important part of spiritual and philosophical thinking about ethical communication. You don�t have to be religious or know philosophy to show grace. All that�s needed is a willingness to sometimes excuse someone who has no right to expect your compassion or forgiveness. Showing grace when appropriate is equally important in personal and professional relationships.

Grace is granting forgiveness, putting aside our needs, or helping another save face when no standard says we should or must do so. Rather than being prompted by rules or expectations, grace springs from a generosity of spirit. Grace isn�t forgiving when we should do so ( for instance, excusing people who aren�t responsible for their actions). Nor is grace allowing others to have their way when we have no choice ( deferring when our supervisor insists, for example). Instead, grace is kindness that is neither earned nor required. For instance, two roommates agree to split chores, and one doesn�t do her share during a week when she has three tests. Her roommate might do all the chores even though there is no expectation of this generosity. It�s also an act of grace to defer to another person�s preference when you could impose yours. Similarly, when someone hurts you and has no right to expect forgiveness, you may choose to forgive anyway. We do so not because we have to, but because we want to. Grace is a matter of choice.

Grace is given without strings. We show kindness, defer our needs, or forgive a wrong without any expectation of reward or reciprocity. Grace isn�t doing something nice to make a co- worker feel grateful or indebted to us. Nor is it grace when we do something with the expectation of a payback. For an act to be one of grace, it must be done without conditions or expectation of return.

Grace is not always appropriate. Generosity of spirit can be exploited by people who take advantage of kindness. Some people repeatedly abuse and hurt others, confident that pardons will be granted. When grace is extended and then exploited, extending it again may be unwise. However, if you show grace in good faith and another takes advantage, you should not fault yourself. Kindness and a willingness to forgive are worthy moral precepts. Those who abuse grace, not those who offer it, are blameworthy.

Because Western culture emphasizes the assertion and protection of self- interest, grace is not widely practiced or esteemed. We are told to stand up for ourselves, to not let others walk on us, and to refuse to tolerate transgressions. It is important to honor and assert ourselves, as we�ve emphasized throughout this book. Yet self- assertion can work in tandem with generosity toward others.

None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, hurt others with thoughtless acts, fail to meet responsibilities, and occasionally do things we know are wrong. Sometimes there is no reason others should forgive us when we wrong them; we have no right to expect exoneration. Yet human relations must have some room for redemption, for the extension of grace when it is not required or earned."
Recommended by 4 Members
Zanzibar randomjunk dont-see Unicornasaurus
2 Comments.


I don't think my brother understands the concept of grace as explained here.
» randomjunk on 2012-07-09 06:46:24

truth
» dont-see on 2012-07-10 11:53:54

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