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Bout de Souffle
Out of Breath
The Ham
182
I can't get it out of my head that I'm ham. I'm afraid I'm going to eat myself. It keeps getting more serious. I don't want to snap, but even worse, I'm so hungry for ham. Actually, I want to snap, because then I'll deserve to eat myself.

That's the ham talking.

The ham wants you to hate me. The ham wants you to hate it. The ham grows off of your derision. It grows saltier, greasier, fattier. It slumbers under a birch with the sweat of the sun beading in its blemishes, laughing. The ham has hands to choke you with, teeth to chew you with.

Grab the handle and push the button.

Actually, the ham has hands to hug you with, teeth to smile at you hospitably. The twine wrapped around keeps the slices in place. That will come off later when the ham and I eat myself.

What the ham doesn't know is: We are a turkey.
Recommended by 2 Members
TheDailyDish little-b
12 Comments.


You ham what you ham.
» dave on 2006-06-30 11:30:37

I don't really know what to think of that, but it's damn funny.
» Praetorian on 2006-07-01 01:31:58

I don't much care for ham. Unless it's on pizza.
» ikimashokie on 2006-07-01 03:03:52

SPAMITY SPAAAAAAAM!
It could be worse...you could be spam.
» Noacat on 2006-07-01 09:51:59

Ham is so darn tasty.
» invisible on 2006-07-02 10:16:23

carry mustard aaround for when you snap. Ham + mustard =delish.
» redintersectsme on 2006-07-20 02:47:42

whore!
» jamie on 2006-07-24 11:50:41

I was just thinking about
when your icon used to be green.
And I used to think you were from Iceland. [which may be true? I know not.]
That is all.
» invisible on 2006-07-28 11:29:45

hey
haha. you making me hungry thinking about hams
» siti84 on 2006-08-29 12:22:40

Interesting in a nonsensical sort of way.
» randomjunk on 2006-09-04 12:07:30

o_O;;

=laughs= that's so strangely amusing....

anyways, ah, i hadnt realised you'd made a new nutang account... no wonder your old one disappeared ^^;; i must be really slow x_x;;

oh well...

wow! this layout is certainly different, but it's great all the same! =D

L8r,

—×Kuri×—
» Kuri on 2006-09-04 11:38:42

And there is a similar analogue?
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» Brandon (121.8.126.90) on 2010-09-03 12:06:43

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