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Bout de Souffle
Out of Breath
Sheets to the Wind
226
Oftentimes it is difficult to obtain that which we would most enjoy. Perhaps it is more prudent, then, to enjoy those things which we already have near us. These are the thoughts that fill my head as I awake. And so, I enjoy the nearest thing to me at these moments: a bedsheet. So silky and malleable, so light and breathable. Bedsheets can be contrived as the most magnificent articles of cloth known to mankind, and I shall elucidate on the matter.

One of the greatest hindrances to my arisal in mornings was this looming truth: I have to open my eyes, stand up, and adorn my body with pants, socks, and a shirt. I have not the resolve at such early hours, and thus I am dissuaded to awake. I then fall into the degrading cycle: consciousness, subconsciousness, unconsciousness, and reconsciousness. However, I am able to circumvent this diabolical situation by embracing my bedsheet. All that is required to start my days is to clasp a hand onto the savior sheet and erect myself. Utterly convenient.

I am not alone in my opinion. Countless men of days past also wore sheets, such as Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato; their wisdom evidently enchanced by the fabric. Jesus H. Christ, messiah and son of the Creator of Existence and Organisms, wore sheets. If the C.E.O. (as I like to call him) approves of it, then so do I. And so should you. Even the man with a mind greater than God had something to say on the subject:

"Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets."
- Mitch Hedberg

"Blankets," of course, are the thicker cousins of bedsheets worn by those of more frigid climes. So you see, bedsheets are obviously superior to any other form of clothing currently available. I beseech you; Join me, brothers and sisters, and together we shall rise up and fall with great wrath upon those whose faith fails them.
20 Comments.


I sleep with one pillow, one sheet, and one blanket. Too many pillows or blankets suffocate me.
» juiCyy on 2005-08-14 07:59:44

I know your pain.
I was once suffocated by a pillow and a blanket. It was a devious plot; a devious, devious, plot.
» Bartholomew on 2005-08-14 08:02:33

That was beautiful.
I told myself I'd wear a toga to school everyday 'cause it was too much trouble to throw on a Tee and wear one of my five or so pairs of jeans. But, what happens when I trip?
» Dilated on 2005-08-14 08:17:11

hmm...
you? wearing only sheets? O_o'' what a lovely sight that would be....

aside from that, it is our nature to yearn for the unobtainable....makes life more interesting, I suppose.


» little-b on 2005-08-14 08:27:28

Ummm yeah
Ok, I have to say that I agree with you. It is difficult to get out of bed when the sheets seem so very inviting. I stand next to you in your quest.
» jesenia (68.39.88.207) on 2005-08-14 08:49:40

It is such a shame that mitch hedeberg died :(. He was a great.
» redintersectsme on 2005-08-14 09:40:54

haha thank you. I owe the bg to threadless.com, they have great stuff.
» redintersectsme on 2005-08-14 10:10:56

hrrmmmmmmm........wearing only bed sheets. I'll have to think about that. lol.
» OldSchooler on 2005-08-15 09:35:59

"erect myself"
too much detail, my friend.

I think you'll run into some laundry issues.
» dave on 2005-08-16 11:16:23

hi! thanks for the welcome!
wow your writings have so much meaning even if its about bed sheets...I'll show more appreciation to my sheets from now on.
» Rie on 2005-08-16 07:10:03

I must tell you about today. And you must listen. YOU BETTER.
» juiCyy on 2005-08-16 08:54:04

awesome
hey again thank you for the kindness! hmmm if you could it would be really helpful if you'd let me know that you can see my background image. Its suppose to be a cat, frog, dog, robot, and bunny eating from an apple tree. uhh I know its sounds corny but can you see it? or just an angelfire logo? Thank you so much for your help! =) I'm not looking forward to school...sigh are you?
» Rie on 2005-08-16 09:47:07

dammit, i want to add you as a friend.
» redintersectsme on 2005-08-17 12:09:43

nvm i figured it out
» redintersectsme on 2005-08-17 12:14:05

i think I got it working
hey again, Dave helped me but again thank you for your input, I will definently try photobucket.com once FlickR space has run dried. :)
» Rie on 2005-08-17 11:51:22

*blinks*
quote: "All that is required to start my days is to clasp a hand onto the savior sheet and erect myself." A freudian slip? Or an intended pun? Do elaborate, do. Speaking of blankets...my dog hogs mine. I'm knitting a new one out of her shedded fur.
» theZEBRA on 2005-08-17 03:22:21

hiii.
thanks for the welcome.
» toosadforhollywood on 2005-08-17 11:46:18

That's great how you made bedsheets sound so eloquent. I find it difficult to get up in the morning period. Especially when my blanket and bedsheet are fresh from the washer/dryer. April fresh.
» bifocalLs on 2005-08-18 10:18:23

i dreamt
that you were in a rock'n'roll band. i couldn't see you, but i heard you. it was good, i liked it.
» Chloefoxx on 2005-08-19 11:52:37

also
my boyfriend hates sheets. he doesn't sleep with one. i think it's disgusting.
» Chloefoxx on 2005-08-20 02:39:19

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