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hmmm... thinking.
Wednesday. 3.19.08 3:45 pm
hey guys, yayyy time for another bloggg. well, for the past few days i've been pretty busy with work and such but whatevs. soooo i definitely found the rest of my money and am now trying to finish paying for college byyyyy Friday i believe and my damn PayPal stuff hasn't gone through yet so hopeuflly it will soon.

anyways, so i'm really sad because i can't find the battery for my digital camera. =[. that means i can't put up anymore videos on youtube... which i LOVE and you guys should most defintiely subscribe to my youtube channel http://youtube.com/user/numeria and it would definitely make me very happy. =]]]. ALSO, i wrote a new song! AND I wanna put it on youtube but.... i can't apparantly since I DONT HAVE THE BATTERY TO MY FRIGGIN CAMERA!!! Ugh, it's pissing me off and i've been looking for 3 days... i can't rememebr where I put it. =[

lame. but whatevs, ok, boys, ughhh i hate boys... well not really. but i decided to play the single card for a while and i'm glad i am. haha, i wanna be a born-again virgin. my new rule is IMA MAKE THEM BITCHES WORK FOR THIS... which translates to: i'm not having sex with you until I feel like i'm ready for it. i just don't wanna seem easy you know? like, i'm not easy. but i need to follow through with it, and i think i will from now on.

so, now i'm addicted to this song White by Lights, it's on my Myspace http://myspace.com/jubileer <---- there and its a really great song but I JUST CANNOT FIND IT!!!! Like, on LimeWire or anything... and i really want it, like HXC. grrr. does anyone have it?

OH!! ANd BTW, i most DEFINITELYYYY love the new Migrate song by Mariah! SHe's basically amazingggg and i can't wait to see her again! Did I tell you I met her? twice! it was thhhhhheeee best! i can't wait for her CD to come out!!!!!

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happy =]
Sunday. 3.23.08 12:35 pm
Mmmmkay. So pretty much a lot has happend over the course of these
couple of days. Lol, well, I went fishing with my brothers and
sister...
well, I did a little then, I didn't like catch anything so I just
basically played the guitar most of the time lol, because im such a
loser.

Well, I met this great boy. Actually, I have yet to meet him but he
seems really genuine. He's a sweet talker, and I know, "Adrey, you need

to watch out for those kinda people." Yes yes yes, I know. Im keeping
my
gaurd up but still, he really makes me happy. Each time he calls me my
heart skips a beat and we have these great conversations. I just...
can't get enough of him. I can really see myself falling hard for him.
And this reality just feels like a dream. Im the dreamer, and he is my
dream. And I don't ever want him to fade away or become a nightmare. It

feels so right. I deserve a good guy. And good guy = him. =].

I put 2 new videos on youtube. One is of me singing Umbrella, and the
other is the new song I wrote. =].

My best friend stayed the night last night and we had a blast, and my
friend Cass who is also one of my best friends stayed also. It was
really cool to have my best best best friend meet up with my best
friend
in my neighborhood. We had a grand old time watching videos and talking

and stuff. It was great. =]. Then we woke up with Shane on my mind. =].

Then we all left and me and tiff went to go pick up our friends Arina
and Robby and went to eat bagels at Breuggers. It was amazing. Lol.
Then
they took me to work.

Which sucks.

But anyways, finiancial situation, still horrible, but I paid off
school, all $314 and all I have is $2 for the next week. Payday is
friday, and hopefully it'll be a big one, because I really need to pay
off my credit card. Then start saving for a car. And start saving for
the apartment, which hopefully won't be too much. But its getting
better. Im getting better.

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HACKIN STRESSSSSSEDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Friday. 3.14.08 12:00 pm
ughhh ok, soooo i'm defintiely superly stressing out. my life is KINDA, crumbling down. well to start it off, my car is starting to slowly die... well, it's not even my car, it's my parents car. and well, they want to go and mix both our Geo Metro's together and make it into a nice car, but face it... either way it's gonna look like crap, PLUS my parents are friggin idiots and won't let us drive the yellow car if they fix ours, i just say we sell our ugly ones to that one guy that works at te popcorn place because he wants it, like... badly. and he's willing to buy them. so theres that. but with that, i wanna BUY a new car.... YES, buy one. But the thing is, is that my job is NOT giving me enough money to be able too. like i work 7 bucks an hour at an optical center that can ONLY give me 24 hours a week because i'm only part time. LAAAAAAAME. I would definitely be fine with working 7 bucks an hour WITH MORE HOURSSSSS. Or work 24 hours a week with like.... I don't know... 9 bucks an hour? Just to keep the ball rollin' you know? i need to make more money, maybe i can get a second job somewhere because i really need it...

and on top of that i have to pay 314 bucks by the 21st of this month to pay off the rest of my tuition so i can keep going to school... yeah... bummer, i definitely ONLY HAVE 248 bucks on my credit card... so somehow i need to get 66 bucks onto my credit card so i can pay that off, and when i do thatttt, i need to pay off the rest of my credit card... which will be about 500 bucks.... yeah i know... i'm in a real financial bind you know? but i'll make it work somehow.

me and my friends wanna move out in May... i need to get out of this place. i need a better job. i need to live closer to town. i need to buy a car. UGHHHHH why does everything i need involve money? this is a desperate time, a hard time for me and it just seem like it's gonna get harder for me unless i get some sort of help.... money-wise. whether it be another job, or here or tricking on the streets (which i will hopefully NEVER have to do) or something... i need to find a way to get cash, FAST.

well, thats it from me for now.... ttfn.

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ughhhhhhh yesterday? blahhhh.
Saturday. 3.15.08 10:55 am
watching: computer screen
listening to: mariah carey
mood: ruhshhhhed

grrrrrr. ok so yesterday... ughh. my gosh. so i woke up at 930am and started to get ready for work and it was exciting because i start work at 1130am right? but me and my brother had to go buy some cupcakes and drop them off at my little sisters school because it was her bday... sooo i get done at 1030am waiting for my friggin' lazy ass brother to finish getting ready, and he doesn't finish til friggin 1050am.. and i'm like yelling and screaming because we still have to drive to Fry's wait in line, buy the cupcakes then drive to the school and then get me to work... and the Fry's and the school are about 5 minutes away from each other but it still takes about 10 to get to the Fry's.

But THEN my friggin' brother take shis sweet ass time in BUYING the cupcakes and taking them to my little sisters classroom. WHAT THE FUCK. Mind you, we live about 35 minutes away from town, and we leave at 1118am so i am driving friggin 90mph weaving in and around through traffic and thankfully i txted my co-worker and told her i was gonna be late. And I get there at arounf 1140am whicho got me there in 20 minutes, because i'm amazingggg, and i know how to drive FAST but SAFE, at least i'm not stupid and taking super duper risks and stuff. I'm not retarded. And all the mean while, my friggin' brother is dancing in the car and blah dee blah not EVEN apologizing for making me late.... WHAT A DICK!!!!! Fuckin stupid.

Well, work was pretty exciting. I was kinda irritated but I got over it after I had some customers. I sold quite a bunch. It was exciting. Made like.... what 8 bucks in commission? ughhh laaaaame, but thats ok. But it was exciting. Then my friend came and we talked about life in general, about how our friend moved away for 2 years and moved back just so she can be with her girfriend... and their engaged... i honestly don't think its gonna work out... i mean they're already living with each other, and arent getting married for 3 years, it's not gonna work out. But whatevs, i just think they are caught up in the moment. And me and my friend made plans to go to this canyon that we went to when i was straight and i went out with her and we took pictures there, and we're gonna go back and take pictures again. I think it's gonna be hella exciting. =]]]. then we DROVE back to her house, picked up somestuff, and went to my house to see what was up with my sis party... well, it's 12 girls... prepubascent little girls running around causing hella ruckus... omfg, i almost shot myself. But we just ate, cleaned, went up stairs and watched Sweeney Todd, which is AN AMAZINGGGGGG MOVIE!!!!! You would most definitely love it =]]]]]l. Then she went home and went to sleeeeep. But anyways, now i'm awake and rushing this entry because i have to be at work innnnnnn..... 52 minutes? Lets seee if i make it.

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OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG
Monday. 3.17.08 11:03 am
blahhhhh ok. so i DID make it to work ON TIME, the other day. it was pretty boring actually. 9 to 530... ughhh but whatevs, i made most of the sales and it was pretty exciting if I do say so myself. =]]]. then afterwards we went to go see The Eye with Jessica Alba and that was pretty amazing too. It was actually a good movie... well i thought so anyways. Then after that I went home to my mommys party. It was like a boxing match between somefilipino guy. And I think he lost but whatevs. Then afterwards we sang kareoke, it was exciting. And then my friends came over and we watched movies and chilled out and just had a good time. =]]]]. kkk well i'm running out of time so ill tell you about my day yesterday.... tomorrow.... hahaha.

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moving to texassss. =]
Saturday. 8.30.08 6:30 pm
Hey guys. So definitely, im moving to Fort Worth, Texas... my hometown, my birthplace, my roots. Im really excited to go, but im really scared too.

It all started a couple days ago when me and my mom got into this huge fight after she found out that I lost my ID card again. She cussed me out, telling me that I am irresponsible and I never help out around the house, that my job sucks, and other bullshit. she yelled at me about finding another job, and I told her that I've been looking and she had the nerve! To tell me the most hateful words someone could say to me, and it was like a big ol jab in the heart... did those words come from my mother? Did they really? .... fuckk, they did. And it just hurts that they did... a lot, and I think about it and it makes my stomach churn... ughh... then she told me that I should go move to Texas to my auntie Maribel in Houston and that she'd help me... and that I make it seem like I hate her and don't respect her because I don't listen to what she says and that I give her like a devilish look. But I don't hate her, like at all, if fact, I love my mom with all my heart, she gave me life, she provided for me, she could've left me with my dad back in Guam but she put a roof over my head, and I could never thank her enough.

But in my defense, I know I give a mean mug, but that's just me, and I listen loud and clear, but I just don't wanna listen to some bullshit if its all just gonna be about how I can't survive unless I have my parents or unless I join the military... just because my dad and my step dad were in it, like what makes you think id want to join it? Yeah, its gonna be a lot of money and they'll pay for my school and ill have a job and blah blah blah, but what I really want to be is happy, and will joining the military make me happy? I don't know, and I don't really wanna find out, its just not for me and I know it isn't.

And so I considered going to Texas, but not to Houston, right after me and my mom got into that huge fight. I called my cousin over there and talked to them about it and they loved the idea, they said they would help me find a job, introduce me to new people, help me redirect my life.

I thought about it a lot, and I found out that... my mom is right. I live in a kinda small town, where im familiar with everything and everyone, with a jank ass job, and there's not very many places tofind a job here either. School is a pain, and will always be a pain, I know a lot of the people, and it just... lemme see, ok... lemme put it this way... I feel like, im so familiar with this place that I just don't care about things, and I know ways to get by, and im not progressing in life. I feel like a slacker, and its not a good feeling. =[. And I feel like if I get pushed into a situation where I need to do stuff on my own, ill stuggle, but ill do it, and ill get by.

And you know, it might not work out over at Texas, and I talked to my parents about it, and they said that I could come back. We actually took the time to talk it through. And im glad I did. I really wanna make it on my own, and I think Texas will help me through it... I really hope so. I really hope I find solace, and myself and love in Texas.

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