hey guys, yayyy time for another bloggg. well, for the past few days i've been pretty busy with work and such but whatevs. soooo i definitely found the rest of my money and am now trying to finish paying for college byyyyy Friday i believe and my damn PayPal stuff hasn't gone through yet so hopeuflly it will soon.

anyways, so i'm really sad because i can't find the battery for my digital camera. =[. that means i can't put up anymore videos on youtube... which i LOVE and you guys should most defintiely subscribe to my youtube channel http://youtube.com/user/numeria and it would definitely make me very happy. =]]]. ALSO, i wrote a new song! AND I wanna put it on youtube but.... i can't apparantly since I DONT HAVE THE BATTERY TO MY FRIGGIN CAMERA!!! Ugh, it's pissing me off and i've been looking for 3 days... i can't rememebr where I put it. =[

lame. but whatevs, ok, boys, ughhh i hate boys... well not really. but i decided to play the single card for a while and i'm glad i am. haha, i wanna be a born-again virgin. my new rule is IMA MAKE THEM BITCHES WORK FOR THIS... which translates to: i'm not having sex with you until I feel like i'm ready for it. i just don't wanna seem easy you know? like, i'm not easy. but i need to follow through with it, and i think i will from now on.

so, now i'm addicted to this song White by Lights, it's on my Myspace http://myspace.com/jubileer <---- there and its a really great song but I JUST CANNOT FIND IT!!!! Like, on LimeWire or anything... and i really want it, like HXC. grrr. does anyone have it?

OH!! ANd BTW, i most DEFINITELYYYY love the new Migrate song by Mariah! SHe's basically amazingggg and i can't wait to see her again! Did I tell you I met her? twice! it was thhhhhheeee best! i can't wait for her CD to come out!!!!!

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Ok so last night me and my boyfriend were in my friends neightborhood just chillin and stuff in my car in front of this persons house. And omfgggg we started doing some orchestral maneuvers in the dark and things got heated... but soon after that... the persons house that we were parked in front of? ..... yeah... they came home... and we were butt naked. And he started walking toward my car! So I hopped into the front seat and drove off before he could get to my car. Jeeeezus, so we park somewhere else and do more orchestral movements in the dark for a bit when THE SAME GUY circles around the block we were parked at about 3 times before he pulls up to us slowly then goes onto a driveway and preceeds to do a 3-point turn... so he does it and AGAIN I hop into the front seat and sped off around the neighborhood.

So we go around the block and find out that there's only one way to get outta the neighborhood and he's waiting for us so I speed up and pass him, and he follows us!!! ALL THE WAY AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND ALL THE WAY DOWN TO I-10 TO I-19 WHERE WE FINALLY LOST HIM!!!!

Sad thing is. I have to housesit for the friend we were parked across the street from. >.<. so i know that ima get confronted somehow. =[.

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Mmmmkay. So pretty much a lot has happend over the course of these
couple of days. Lol, well, I went fishing with my brothers and
sister...
well, I did a little then, I didn't like catch anything so I just
basically played the guitar most of the time lol, because im such a
loser.

Well, I met this great boy. Actually, I have yet to meet him but he
seems really genuine. He's a sweet talker, and I know, "Adrey, you need

to watch out for those kinda people." Yes yes yes, I know. Im keeping
my
gaurd up but still, he really makes me happy. Each time he calls me my
heart skips a beat and we have these great conversations. I just...
can't get enough of him. I can really see myself falling hard for him.
And this reality just feels like a dream. Im the dreamer, and he is my
dream. And I don't ever want him to fade away or become a nightmare. It

feels so right. I deserve a good guy. And good guy = him. =].

I put 2 new videos on youtube. One is of me singing Umbrella, and the
other is the new song I wrote. =].

My best friend stayed the night last night and we had a blast, and my
friend Cass who is also one of my best friends stayed also. It was
really cool to have my best best best friend meet up with my best
friend
in my neighborhood. We had a grand old time watching videos and talking

and stuff. It was great. =]. Then we woke up with Shane on my mind. =].

Then we all left and me and tiff went to go pick up our friends Arina
and Robby and went to eat bagels at Breuggers. It was amazing. Lol.
Then
they took me to work.

Which sucks.

But anyways, finiancial situation, still horrible, but I paid off
school, all $314 and all I have is $2 for the next week. Payday is
friday, and hopefully it'll be a big one, because I really need to pay
off my credit card. Then start saving for a car. And start saving for
the apartment, which hopefully won't be too much. But its getting
better. Im getting better.

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soooo basically today was blahhh. work work work. i got a stain on my shirt which isn't going away and its kinda pissing me off. but whatevs. i'm gonna go to this party tonight that Ivan invited me too and it's being hosted at this kids hizzouse or something like that but hopefully it'll be fun. but honestly, i could care less for it.

blahh. i havent talked to Nate all day. and i think he's mad at me. but i do know that he's chillin with his aunt or something. ah well. it's all good in the hood.

sooo i found out that i'm an overly jealous person. how? because i went to the midnight screening of The Dark Knight which was FUGGGGGGIN' amazing as shit and i loved it. =]. but i invited Ivan along with us and he sat next to Nate and then we all start talking and its a good old time... but then he starts txting him on my phone... then i take it back from him and i keep it for myself txting my other friends. and then he takes Ivans phone and then they have this coversation on his phone and im sitting there FUMING... like completely livid. but i'm like "whatever Adrian, just let it go. it doesn't matter. he's leaving in a couple of weeks so you wont have to be hung up on him for very long." and it TOTALLY sucks because i'm attached... he's i admit. i got attached to him, even though i said i am swearing off guys for a while... hypocritical Adrian went and got himself hung up on some guy who he met like a couple weeks ago whose moving back to NY in a week and a half.

like this is how hung up i am, im making him a scarf, a multi colored scarf, im throwing him a party next friday, i'm taking hella pix so that i could make him a scrapbook for when he goes back and stuff. like... how pathetic is that? but idon't really care. i wanna do it because thats what friends do... well thats what i do for MY friends because ilike to believe im a good friend. but he doesn't want me. i bet he doesn't even like me. but whatever, i told him since he was moving that i'll show him a good time. but lately i've just been cold and bitchy to him. which i totally regret because he prolly doesn't like me even more now. but whatever. i have good intentions for it but thats nnot really a good excuse, i should be a better friend and just hiding my feelings and just keeping to myself. but i can't. im a very complicated person and i realized that. i realized that i cant have a relationship and i wanna be alone. i kinda wish i didn't have feelings for anyone so i could go on living my life by myself. im young! im turning 19 August 1st and i have my whole life ahead of me. i just need to concentrate on the more important things than having a relationship with someone. and i want someone to punch me in the face if i get into another relationship within the next month. LITERALLY.

but a good friend isnt a bitch to their friends... thatsmore of enemies, and i wanna be far from an enemy. and i feel really guilty about it. =[. im so stupid. i wanna talk to him, but im afraid of what he'll say... maybe somethings are better left unsaid. but iknow that in my heart, he's leaving so soon and im gonna hate seeing him go and i know why i was being short, and bitchy, and cold to him... it's because i dont wanna say goodbye and i;m trying to unattach myself so that it wont hurt as bad when he leaves.... and thats terrible. i shouldn't be doing that. i should be spending as much time with him as i can and letting him have fun but i dont wanna say goodbye... i really dont.... it hurts too much to even think about it. jeezus adrian.

im gonna go finish making that scarf now.

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