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Favorite Song

May change often.
This past month
Tuesday. 6.25.13 12:06 pm
My brothers, who are a constant source of my disappointment (as shown frequently in my previous entries on this blog,) have robbed me of something important. On May 24th, I had one of the best days in the past 7 years. I felt that I had finally gotten out of my depression that had been affecting me since I got back from Japan in August of 2006. That day I had wanted to exercise, wanted to study, wanted to go to work, wanted to spend time with my little sister (who is more my daughter than my sister, I'm her father figure basically.) More than that, I had done all of these things that day. I was on top of the world. My younger brother was not. He stabbed me that night in the side with an 8 inch kitchen knife. I'm fine medically, the blade did not pierce very deep, as one of my now cracked ribs stopped it. Mentally, I am devastated. I went from the top of the world back to the bottom of the ocean. I haven't done anything since that day. I tried to go to work the day after it happened, and had a panic attack when it finally struck me that I almost died the night before. A full 12 hours after the stabbing I finally came down from the adrenaline and realized that I might not have even gone to work that day. Needless to say, I broke down and cried like a baby in front of my entire team at work and the upper management. They asked me to go home after I told them the reason why I broke down. I took a few days off and came back with a good enough mask that everyone at work believes everything is okay. Now, all I can do is sit and try to keep my mind from playing over the events of that night and wonder why in the fuck I had any sympathy for my brother ever.

The police called about a week ago, and asked if I would like to press charges against him. I had told myself that I could not press charges against my brother, because I believed that there was something to salvage there in the relationship, or that I couldn't press charges against a family member. Those boys are not my brothers, no brothers of mine could take advantage of me and my family the way that these two are. I'm making plans to move out, but I need to make sure that my mother and younger sister are cared for if they will not move with me. I will not leave my mother and sister with those two boys alone, and I will not see my family hurt by those two any more.

I'm not sure why I wrote this entry, but I guess I just needed to tell someone about this, even if I'm not very active around here otherwise. If all goes well, I'll be living in a different house within the next few months and not have to worry about those two any more.

i look forward to read positive follow ups from u soon. whether or not u believe in gods or the universe, these entities hear ur cries, so please don't forget to ask them for help with ur current situation.
» renaye on 2013-06-26 08:00:46

Good luck to you, sir. I hope you find a way to keep yourself and your family safe.
» invisible on 2013-07-09 07:06:14

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