Sunday. 4.18.04 9:32 pm
And will you tell all your friends -
You've got your gun to my head.
Cliche, I know, but I still love Taking back Sunday. Playlist = Mario Winans( .. eh. ), Anthony Hamilton ( YAY ), and TBS ( .. eh. )
I think I have homework to do in Biology.. if I ever remember just what it is, I swear, I'll do it. Until then, though.. I'll write. I know I've got to redo my poem thing for English 'cause it involved drugs, but I'll change that later. As for right now..
I'm regretting ever drinking milk. I hate milk. Milk = nasty. But, I need it for my honey grams.. and.. yeah.
Tommorow, monday.. school.. I'm not looking forward to it. Spanish isn't that bad anymore.. I'm starting to ge-- nevermind. I'll never get the hang of it, but I pick up on a few things that I can use when watching my Novelas. Maybe, one day, I'll watch Prisionera with the captions off to see how well I'm doin'...
Biology = waste of my time. I don't learn nuffin substantial, or crucial for me to know ( right now. ) I don't know what I wanna' be when I'm all grown up, but I'm pretty sure it won't have to do with biomolicules.
English.. english, english, english. That's alright.. It's a nice way to kill time before football.
Or, as other people call it ' DEATH '. Football = pain for the most part. Runr un run, hit hit hit, die die die, work work work and boom, school's out.
After school.. I wait, and wait, and wait by the bandhall for my sister to pick me up. I'd rather wait in a car for her 'cause.. atleast there, I won't have to see so many people, or be in the sunlight. Light = bah.
I have to write some letters/notes this week.. I've got a letter I owe to Jana, and I'm writing one to Antonia. A couple to Michelle to keep the tradition we started last year alive while she's gone on that band trip BS. And I might write Caitlin a few..
Might. I have alot of things to tell her.. so many things I have to tell her. It's unhealthy, really, these feelings I've got for that girl.
Rarely do I show my love for people. I've given about .. 1 hug this week, and I'm guessing it was to my mom.. or, Keith. More on that later...
But, when it comes to .. that .. girl, all these emotions come up that I can barely control. I..
I don't like it. Not one bit do I like having these feelings for her. Especially, when she's not even here. But, it's not like she's ever truly, truly been here.. or there.. or wherever for me when I truly need 'er..
I'm not supposed to need her. Not her, not anyone. Just Jon. God, too.. but, her? Nah.. Anyone else? I doubt it.
What I need to do is get over this dream.. this fantasy I've got of a happy ending to our relationship. Ominous feelings are everywhere.. She'll either OD and have a fatal injury or something before I get to be with her, or fall for someone else. Which would hurt more?
If I can remember correctly, they both hurt about the same last time.
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