A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
I'm bingeing on "But Not Tonight" by Depeche Mode again.
That last column is how many plays each song has...
I think the last time I did this I listened to it sixty times in a row or something.
Becka's bridal shower was today and for part of it we wrote down words of wisdom/sentimental thoughts to collect in a scrapbook for her. We read them aloud to her at the end of the shower and I felt... pretty emotional reading mine. She is one of the most genuinely sweet and caring people I've ever met and it means a lot to me that we're friends and that she invited me to her wedding.
That feeling of strong emotion has lasted a long time... It's similar to the feeling I get from listening to this song. A strong sense of something welling up inside me and wanting to get out. Tears are part of it but not all. It's overwhelming to be able to feel so grateful. To not feel numb and hazy.
Once I was blind but now I see...
I am tired and I should sleep but I also kind of just want to cry about life in a good way. And in a little bit of a sad way I guess. In a way I want to cry for myself before, before I could really feel. I want to cry for everything I never knew I was missing. There's so much to life and sometimes I just can't see it. In these moments when I feel truly aware that I am alive and capable of perceiving so many things it's overwhelming and I just get indescribably emotional. My life isn't perfect but it's still like being free when I was in jail for so long. Or it feels that way when I get like this.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Okay, super delayed I guess, but pictures! [3P]
Monday, August 11, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
This song feels like a pulling, a longing, a grasp too short to reach.
And I guess that makes sense, since it's about falling in love with a shooting star.
Sometimes in my dreams the sky feels so close, like it's just painted onto the inside of a dome containing everything. And the treetops, as infinitely high as they look, are never more than an arm's length away if I try to pull them down. It's all enclosed and limited. There's a sense that borders are around, even if I can't see them. I wonder if other people's dreams are like that?
I'm very curious about what it's like to live as other people... It's not that I want to be someone else or hate my life, I just want to know what it feels like to be another person. To know if the sensations are comparable, if colors look the same. I keep feeling like maybe I would find a world totally alien to my experience and realize that we use the same words to describe things that aren't really the same at all, but that's probably not likely.
Listening to the song again. It still feels like a pull, but in a slightly different way. It feels like being on a merry go round and spinning around, trying to hold on but being pulled to the edge. Disorienting and difficult, straining to maintain a grip on the bars while the surroundings blur into colored lines.
Home for awhile
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Just played Nekra Psaria, a visually interesting point and click game...
So, as the title says, I'm home now. Lots of unpacking to do, as well as some other things. I need to find a book to return to Amazon and return a sweater to Hautelook because they sent me the wrong one... Now I'm looking at reviews for the site and it seems like there are a lot of issues with them. I'm really disappointed. They don't do exchanges and it seems like people have had issues with returning stuff. Soooo... not looking forward to dealing with that. All I wanted was a cute sweater. :( Sadly I got an ugly sweater instead. It's this gross nude color with thin white stripes, totally not what I ordered. Bleh.
In better news (I guess?) I tried this new shampoo and conditioner (the kukui one by Organix) and they made my hair feel awesome. It's so soft and smooth... I left the bottles in Washington though, so I'll have to get more here...
I have lots of pictures to post and stuff to talk about I guess, but it's like 3 AM here so I think I should probably do that later.
Last day here :T [3P]
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
I've been bitten by the lazy bug but here's an entry
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
The word that comes to mind is nebulous.
My sense of time is a bit out of whack. One moment bleeds into the next, but outside each moment there has been nothing and will be nothing.
And there are disconnected feelings that float around, trying to anchor themselves to something. Good feelings and bad feelings. Some penetrate and some linger weakly on the surface.
So, on Saturday I went shopping with my friend Matt and his friend Rayray. We went to Ala Moana and spent oh... a good five hours there, at least. Rayray was looking for clothes for a wedding, so that was the main goal of the trip. Matt picked me up at 11 AM, and then we went and got Rayray. I had never met him before, but he was... interesting.
Almost immediately after he got into the car, he launched into a story about how a few nights after he moved into his apartment (he's doing summer school at University of Hawaii), he met his new roommate, and the roommate went out to party and returned errr... unconscious. Like several people carried the guy back and dropped him off with a backpack full of who knows what. Not long after, while Rayray was sleeping (in his boxers because it was hot that night-- he made sure to include lots of details), the police came and raided the place. Turned out the backpack was full of drugs! And they arrested Rayray and took him down to the station. At like 4 AM or something. So he ended up having to call a friend to pick him up. I guess she was pretty grumpy about it. Her revenge was to surprise wake him up early and make him go shopping with her at Victoria's Secret for several hours.
The first thing we did when we got to the mall was have lunch. Rayray kept calling me Kim, and I wasn't sure why. At first I thought he was talking about someone else, so I just didn't say anything.
We spent a good amount of time in Armani Exchange, which had some cute things that were way out of my price range. I did hear this song though, which it look a little bit of searching to find on Google:
Pretty much all of the stuff Rayray needed was at Macy's, so we spent a lot of time there as well. Some of the socks in the shoe section looked like they were designed more for nine year old girls than for men, but who am I to question people's fashion preferences?
I also wanted to find some gifts for my friends, so we walked around looking for places that sold touristy stuff. I got a sexy men of Hawaii calendar as a gag gift for my friend Dan, and Matt supplied a couple amusing captions, which I decided to write in the calendar with a Sharpie I bought at Long's Drugs. It was only 73 cents!
There's a bank in the mall and Matt had to deposit a paycheck, so while Rayray and I waited for him I walked down on the up sloped moving walkway (I didn't know sloped moving walkways were a thing before). The poor man's treadmill!
Ummm we also went to Shirokiya and tried on glasses. There were some that were actually pretty flattering. Matt insisted on trying on several pairs of big gaudy women's sunglasses, which was entertaining. Oh, and I found this Japanese lemon vitamin C supplement soda drink thing that I like, which was nice.
After Shirokiya we just sat outside and chatted for awhile. Matt and Rayray went to the same small college in Oregon, so they had some stories about that... And I talked a little about my Craigslist adventures (or lack thereof because of flaky people). I guess when we were walking out of the store, Matt and I both stepped at the same time and like swung our bags or something, because Rayray was like "WTF, are you guys twins or something?" I don't really know what we were doing but apparently it was exactly the same.
When we left I asked Rayray if he thought my name was Kim and he said yes. I told him it wasn't and he was all embarrassed and shocked and asked why Matt or I hadn't corrected him. We both just laughed.
All in all I had fun and hopefully I can hang out with Matt again the next time I'm here.
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