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Another set of tests and a Special name generator
Friday. 4.27.07 6:14 am

Your P***s Name Is...

Mr. Big

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

You Follow Your Head

You're rational, collected, and logical.

Generally, it takes you quite a while to fall in love.

In fact, you've even been accused of being very picky.

While you're cool, you're not ice cold.

You just know what you want, and don't mind waiting to get it.

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Lust: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Pride: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die love and feared by many. And you'll be buried in a tomb.

You Belong in New Zealand

Good on ya, mate

You're the best looking one of the bunch

Though you're often forgotten...

You're quite proud of who you are


You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rare

You are totally enchanting and intriguing

But you usually don't stick around long!

You are best known for: your beauty

Your dominant state: seducing

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some jokes gotten off the net
Thursday. 4.19.07 11:13 am
Doctor D had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring vice that said:

"D, dont worry bout it. You aren't the first doctor to have sex with his patient, and you wont be the last...and your single to...let it go!"

but invaruably the other voice would bring him back to reality.

"D, you're a vet....."

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

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Extreme Diet Pepsi and Mentos Experiment
Sunday. 4.15.07 1:29 am

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Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland - The complete country list archive
Tuesday. 4.10.07 11:05 am
After reading about the belgian joke, I decided to look around and find the complete the complete archive of Conan's jokes on other countries.. Voila


The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium.

The good news is, you can't read.


The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone


It took you eight years to beat France.


How does it feel, being Luxembourg's bitch?


Hey, call me when your life expectancy catches up with your inflation rate.


Believe it or not, you can use oil for more than just killing seals.

The Bahamas

It takes a lot of rum to forget your major export is crawfish.


A thriving centre of trade and culture... until 2000 BC!


If you can hear this, your television isn't underwater. Congratulations!


There simply isn't a more beautiful island... to sail by on your way to Jamaica.


Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.


The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium.


Get your camera; they're paving a road!


Keep practicing those voodoo spells and maybe someday you'll be as rich as Rwanda.


So they took away your freedom of the press? Who needs it when your only headline is "Bhutan Continues to Suck?"


Remember kids, you must be at least nine years old to overthrow the goverment.

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Nothing spells a bright future like signing your peace accord in Dayton, Ohio.


Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35.


Home to more than 800 species of unregulated breast implants.


If there was ever an argument for the death penalty, it's chicken smuggling.


So what if you misplaced a little weapons-grade uranium? The important thing is keeping track of all those hand-made doileys and goat hair rugs.

Burkina Faso

In the traditional tribal language, that's Burkina for "land of" and Faso for "people who want to get the hell out of Burkina Faso."


The bad news is, you've got rampant malaria. The good news is, it doesn't stop the kids from making those shirts.


All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.


How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?


Not to be mistaken with the macaroon, a small, chewy cookie... with a longer life expectancy!


With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!

Cape Verde

Millions visit your island nation... to refuel their planes!

Central African Republic

So bad, the gorillas learn sign language for "Poach me."


Good news: Ustad Ali Khan is headlining the Locust Plague Festival.


The good news is, it's finally legal to get a divorce. The bad news is, who gets the active volcano and who gets the 55,000 square miles of lifeless desert?


If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.


You'll come for the enticing beauty of the Caribbean Sea. You'll stay because you've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a Dodge Dart.


On a list of the world's purchasing power, you're ranked 222. Did I mention there are only 190 countries?

Democratic Republic of Congo

Where even a poor boy with no prospects can grow up to be run over by a presidential motorcade.

Republic of Congo

Without you, who would the elephants trample?

Costa Rica

Thanks for giving us a place to dump our potheads.

Cote D'Ivoire

Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?


Congratulations on your candidacy for the European Union. Imagine, if that comes through, it could employ two, maybe three people.


Where "high-tech" means you've got a radio on your homemade raft.


Where the Mediterranean climate makes it a joy to spend each day mining asbestos.

Czech Republic

The country that explains why Kafka never wrote a happy story.


Too bad you can't build a warm, sunny day out of Legos.


Imagine how great life would be if you had the rich natural resources of Ethiopia.


Where the national catchphrase is "I'm sorry, officer, I didn't mean to interrupt your armed robbery."

Dominican Republic

The perfect place for anyone who's ever asked themself "Where'd my car go?"

East Timor

It takes a lot to admit you live on the bad side of Timor.


Street crime is on the rise, so keep your ransom note in an inside pocket.


Where priceless ancient statues and mummies are so close, you can fly to London and see them at the British Museum.

El Salvador

Where no resumé is complete without the phrase "Supervised six-person death squad."

Equatorial Guinea

Congratulations, you just discovered vast oil reserves... I mean, we just discovered vast oil reserves. *evil laugh*


You only have one TV station, but cheer up - it's got locust reports on the eights!


Home of the European flying squirrel, the only Estonian mammal that's not an alcoholic.


I can't do this one, let's move on.


If you're visiting Fiji, you have to go snorkeling, 'cause it's the best way to flee cannibals.


We're so dumb, we can't wait to be insulted to send a meaningless postcard with a tire on the front.

You've had over 5,000 years of culture, and the world's most famous Finn is still Huckleberry.


You gave us the term "deja vu," as in "Wow, I have this weird feeling you've been obnoxious and arrogant before. Deja vu!"

(Wait a miniute, this is France, so I think I can't do just one.)


Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Gauguin, Manet: You're number one when it comes to great minds that died of syphillis.


You have to question a country that grants five terms to a man called "President Bongo."

The Gambia

The only nation brave enough to say "Let those offshore oil reserves wait. We've got a good thing going with these peanuts and palm kernels."


Where Europe meets Asia and says "Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here?"


The great 20th-century power that said, "Ditch Einstein, get Hasselhoff."


The 'h' is silent, like a room full of people after you ask "What's worthwhile about Ghana?"


Big news: Historians now think the first marathon took place in August 490 BC, not September. That means nothing good has come out of Greece for a month longer than previously believed.


When you're at the end of a grueling fifteen-hour day peeling the husks off nutmeg, remember this: without you, the world would have to sprinkle its eggnog with cinnamon.


Where the Mayans invented the zero, as in "What are the chances this shirt was made by someone over the age of eight? Zero!"


Even guinea pigs have the good sense to claim they're actually from Peru.


The only book that mentions it is The Audubon Guide to Locusts.


The Eskimos have sixty words for "snow." The Guyanans have eighty words for "dysentery."


You just celebrated two hundred years of independence. Congratulations. Now make a wish and blow out your burning pile of tires.


Sure, your next-door neighbour Austria was home to Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss, Schubert, and Freud, but don't forget, you make pretty good stuffed cabbage.


I'm amazed you don't have a military. How do you protect your 85,000 square miles of uninhabitable land?


A nation so richly diverse, you can walk into a single neighborhood and find cholera, dengue fever, malaria, typhoid, and plague.


This year marks the fiftieth anniversary of your first democratic election, in which apparently, everyone voted to never have another democratic election.


Just two more years 'til you have a nuclear warhead, and two years and a day 'til you use it on a woman holding a beer.


You know, there's a wonderful old Irish legend that goes something like this: Once upon a time, many years ago, there was an Irishman who could hold down a job.


Hey, remember when life in Israel was vibrant and carefree? Man, that was the day.


The newspapers are reporting a miracle. Apparently, a statue of Mary moved her hand and said, "I just worked harder than 80% of your workforce."


Of course you've got an astronomical murder rate. You've had "No Woman No Cry" on repeat for 25 years.


Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters.


Thanks to your country's progress in human rights, now your citizens can choose which hand you cut off.


It's a beautiful place to grow old, assuming you're one of the 2.3% of Kenyans who live to 65.

South Korea

Your biggest natural resource is coal, which gives dog a nice, smokey flavour.


We saved your ass from Saddam. Now make with the oil, bitch.


If your country could afford vowels, you could spell "this place sucks."


You'll come for the early Asian ruins. You'll stay 'cause you've been stricken with avian bird flu.


Your leading industries are textiles, heavy machinery production, and trading your daughters for second-hand American blue jeans.


Are you bummed out 'cause your country has only 120 miles of paved road? Well, cheer up! Your 41-year life expectancy should give you plenty of time to see all of it.


Come visit our country, but make sure you also have an afternoon activity.


Just like Florida, except without the electricity, phones, drinkable water, or protection from roaming death squads.


Where the police cane you first, then ask for a bribe.


You'll come for the tropical climate. You'll stay 'cause you've been eaten by tiger sharks.


What's that noise? People arguing in tribal languages over the last pile of ground nuts!


Brimming with culture, history, and mustachioed Sicilian hookers.

Marshall Islands

To write a joke about your country, we Googled it. No results were found.


Look, there's an honest policeman! No, wait, they got him.


Where Eurotrash goes to gamble away their facelift money.


Where Chinese freedom meets Siberian comfort.


The good news is, you only have the fourteenth highest death rate in the world.

The bad news is, you border numbers one, three, four, and seven.


Remember when your government was almost toppled by a pair of cigarette-smoking twelve-year-old twins who you thought were immortal? Man, you sure have come a long way since 2001.


Home to eight of the world's highest peaks; nine if you count your unemployment rate.

The Netherlands

Congratulations, you've turned 500 years of culture into a pot joke.

New Caledonia

Still a world leader in beach erosion.


Come learn about the heritage of your nanny.


Where children come first... in the draft.


Sweden has Ikea, Finland has Nokia... Hey Norway, what do you have? Nothing-kia!


As in "Oh man, I can't believe you cut my hand off for stealing an orange!"


Guess what? You're not worth jack-istan!


How do you enter Palau? Arrive in a national airport.
How do you leave Palau? Through a shark's colon.


Congratulations, you have the second-busiest canal after Paris Hilton.


Mi casa es su landfill.


We'd write an insult about Poland, but they'd just send themselves the hate mail.


Come see our museum of the Middle Ages. We call it "Romania."


The perfect marriage of rampant corruption and tacky track suits.

St. Kitts and Nevis

You know, after you get through the shrinking population and the low birth rate, there's almost no one left to die during hurricane season.


Kind of like Fiji, but without all the reasons to go there.

Saudi Arabia

You'll come for the history, you'll stay because they arrested your wife for accidentally showing her ankles.


You tried ethnic cleansing; how about cleaning your armpits?

Sierra Leone

You fought for the British in World War I, now you're fighting for your first working toilet.


In 1993, Czechoslovakia was split into two seperate parts: Slovakia, and the good part.


Plagued by decades of civil war. Come on, guys, there's plenty of rubble for everyone!


Five hundred years ago, you were a global superpower, and now you're not. Hmm, that's strange. Oh well, time for another four-hour nap!


Your contributions to the world: crappy furniture and Stockholm Syndrome.


We haven't bombed you yet. Still, I'd hold off on any major contruction projects.


Congratulations, you're where Uzbekistanis go to feel better about themselves.


Where you can have sex with a 14-year-old prostitute, if they're willing to come out of retirement.

Trinidad & Tobago

The Siegfried & Roy of the Lesser Antilles.


Oh wait, you're not a real country. You're China's bitch!


You've got it all... and by "it all," I mean risk of both bacterial and protozoal diarrhea.

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Back to the Future Paradox
Monday. 4.9.07 11:15 am
Here's the most basic concept on what could cause a strange loop.

Imagine building a time machine, using it to go back in time by 5 minutes and kill yourself before you enter the time machine.

If you killed your "previous" self before he enters the time machine, you could not have gone back in time to kill him which would give him the ability to go back in time and... You know where this will lead to.

This would now point to Back to the Future Part II where the older Biff visits his younger self, gives him the almanac, and warns him about McFly and the Prof.

He gets dad McFly killed, and the Prof. put to jail.

If the professor was put to jail, the time machine would not have been created.

And if the time machine would not have been created, the older Biff could not have had visited himself in the past.


The Time Machine's timeline becomes a separate dimension, it did not need the original timeline to be created or to exist, it lives independently.

But like anything, (for the religious, except God) had to be created by some sort of cause, some materials had to be converted to whatever item has to exist.

Going in the same line. If you go back in time and correct something that you regretted, your past person will now lose reason on why he has to go back to the past and correct something. Thus, another loop.

And if a time machine did exist, should we have not met someone from the future by now?

Unless we have. Or unless they live by the "rules". But if everyone can travel to the past, there has to be one jackass who would have messed things up in the past.

We would not know about what was messed though, as it would have been integrated as something normal in our life.

Keep pondering, and develop this article

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It is Holyweek in the Philippines (A Christian holiday)
Thursday. 4.5.07 1:29 am
As the title states, it is the holyweek in the Philippines, and practically everything will be closed until Monday.

During this time, Christians are supposed to reflect, pray, and remember the last few days, and resurrection, of Jesus Christ (I came from a Catholic school, I had to learn these things). For the rest, we go to the beach, or any resort, as they are the only ones open during the holidays.

I would go, but every other person in this country (80% Christian) is already going to the beach. It would be too crowded, and the traffic pile-up is not worth the time.

I could choose to stay home, and watch TV, with local programs showing all about Christianity, which I learned in school, or eat like mad, and bring my weight back to something that would hold me down during very strong winds.

The Chinese new year is also recognized in the Philippines, as well as Ramadan, a Muslim holiday.

No Hindu holiday is recognized here, which is good, because too many holidays mean lesser chances of me to go to a resort, or it could spread out everyone to choose when to go to the resort instead.

Also, I fear the formalization of the holiday into the calendar would give me a commercialized holiday. Something that might make people forget the real meaning of the holiday in the first place.

I am in business, and even as a consumer, people look at the Holyweek as a "Car Repair and food stocking" industry, aside from a vacation boom. Many of them have forgotten the true meaning.

I am not supposed to care, as it is not the religion I follow, but I guess if I would like my holidays to be celebrated to the very reason and essence that has placed them there, I would like to see everyone appreciate their own respective religious and non-religious holidays accordingly, they have some of the most beautiful meanings not to be left out from why they existed in the first place.

There is no sin in going out. Heck, staying at home for five days will suck. The most important thing though, value their deep and real message, and reflect, every reflection can make us better people, and what better time to do this than the next five days.

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Karaoke for the deaf
Monday. 4.2.07 9:59 pm

The music title was torn. this was performed by "The Hollow Men"

Another version with Natalie (I think) at the secret policeman's ball

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Monty Python Dead Parrot - Classic
Sunday. 4.1.07 3:47 am

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The Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity
During the nocturnal hours of earthlings, with people either in moonlit vocations, alcohol cravings, or travelling through dreams, thoughts from an insomniac (like me) would be inputted in computers like these (quite an amusing little contraption) to try to twist little humanoid minds...

hmdaswani's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

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