in a sepia tone aww yeah.
Location: Mansfield, PA
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1927 Max Erhmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Strive to be happy.
Thursday. 4.7.05 1:45 pm
I feel like I figured something out the other day.
We've been going over God in my philosophy class and there's this battle being raged between the Christians and the atheists like you could expect. One day I was verbalizing my ideas about God on our discussion board, and while I was writing about how to get around the problem of evil I wrote "God is a verb." Something clicked at that moment and suddenly everything started to make a bit more sense. Call it a vision of clarity or something, but it just felt so right, like the belief had been waiting for me my entire life. Some famous person said that anyway, it's not my own phrase, but it was the same idea.
I talked to my philosophy teacher, Dr. McEvoy, after class today, because today we were talking about ethics and ethical relativism and absolutism. I found out today that I am pretty much an ethical relativist about most issues. It's so conditional. Anyway, she was talking about relativism and said that while relativism is not right, because there are some moral absolutes, relativism has a totally awesome point that you should not be closed-minded about anything at first because even if something seems fucking crazy and wrong, examine it and see if you actually think it's all that wrong. It's scary to think about but sometimes your mind gets changed. RUN WITH IT.
Anyway, the point is that I was asking her about this and then it hit me that that is the point of philosophy! To examine the world we live in! It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you try and understand what it is you actually believe in. It's not about getting the answers; it's about the path you take getting there. Holy crap, everything makes perfect sense right now.
Now I will go eat chips.
Sunday. 4.3.05 6:03 pm
On a complete spur-of-the-moment whim, Sarah came and got me on Friday and we went out to LHU to watch A Midsummer Night's Dream, featuring her friend Mark as Nick Bottom. The play was a riot, but I must say that hanging out with her was an even bigger riot. This time I got to meet her awesome friends Tracy and Kristian and they were super cool. Especially Tracy since we hung out with her more. Tracy is the bomb, and a definitely fun best friend.
Funny story: the next morning, Kristian walked in the room and I was, you know, shirtless and lying on Sarah's bed, with a blanket over my face. I kinda just said hey and then she took off in a few minutes. I found out later that she thought I was a new guy and she got mad at Sarah because of it. Kristian thus gets props for sticking up for the new guy!
Of course, Sarah gets more props for totally coming out to MU when she didn't have to. And driving me back the next day unnecessarily when it turns out that fucker Thrad couldn't even come up!! Just kidding buddy, I know your ride puked out on you, and you must know I know what that's like.
Everything seems so easy with this girl. I'm just waiting to find out that she has a fetish with Precious Moments dolls or that she keeps pics of her ex-boyfriends in a shrine to herself in her room or something, and anyone who disrupts the sanctity of the "temple" is subject to her wrath for a week in which I am constantly told that I'm fat and obnoxious and all her friends hate me, regardless of its truth.
It's not gonna happen.
Thursday. 3.31.05 9:45 am
I direct you to my guestbook. As you see, it is empty.
That means sign my fucking guestbook. I will sign in return.
tony, I had to
Monday. 3.28.05 6:43 am
And of course I'll have to agree with it. Add a slice of lime and a small dollop of grenadine to it and then that's a good drink.
Sunday. 3.27.05 11:35 pm
So I suppose you could call Sarah my girlfriend now. Which is pretty sweet.
But I have other things to write about too. Chicken took me home Saturday and we tried somewhat unsuccessfully to record his song Whole, but we did get some tracks laid for Face, and we had our first public alcohol together! Also my first Jack and Coke. Hanging out with Kat and Chicken was a pretty good time, because we went down and got wings at Doc's and had the aforementioned alcohol. We also got some definitely quality Mario 64 time in too. Good shit, dude.
Sunday I went to my uncle's house to celebrate Easter and my grandma's 91st birthday. Holy crap. We had good food and a lot of great conversation and man I love my family. I really do. Every last one of my family members is special to me, even the insane ones like my mom and sister. haha :)
And now I need sleep.
finally I can write
Sunday. 3.27.05 5:23 pm
Sarah came up Thursday and stayed Thursday and Friday nights. DAMN WAS IT FUN!
I barraged her with all of my friends and they all thought she was awesome, and then Thursday night we went to see Bitch at Night & Day Cafe. Bitch was fricking awesome. Her drummer was excellent and the lead singer (I guess she is actually Bitch) was incredible. She played ukulele, electric violin, electric bass, and these neat shaker things connected by strings that I have no idea what it's called and I wanna learn it now. The songs were super and the company was great, and Jess and Lynne totally assimilated Sarah into the group.
After that, we went back and chilled for a bit, till the little one and the tall one came over, at which time we recorded until midnight. I recorded a song so Jess could see the process, and then I had her record something, and then they left. Then Sarah and I decided we were hungry for Taco Bell and went out there to find it closed at fucking 9 PM. We were mad, so we went to Walmart instead and got junk food for my room. And then we stayed up late eating it and having a good time.
Friday, I got up early and did some studying for my bio test (which I took and passed awesomely), and Sarah and I hung out the whole day until Chicken got here, at which point we finally went out for our Taco Bell run and that was great. I was so glad Chicken got to meet her because he's my best friend and if the girl doesn't get the best friend's approval, she ain't worth it, and she passed with flying colors to him. So that was great. Then we came back and serenaded her for a while until she and I got tired, so then we went to sleep.
Saturday, Chicken came by bright and early at 11 and we headed up to Rico's for chicken wing pizza, and we met up with TJ who drove. Rico's chicken wing pizza is a delicacy, btw. After we got back, Sarah packed up her stuff, we kissed goodbye, and she sailed off into the sunset, to be seen again in a number of weeks, probably two.
Man, Sarah is an awesome time. She and I get along really well, and my friends all got good vibes from her. Next time we hang, I'm gonna go out to Lock Haven and hang out with her friends and hopefully that'll go really well too. We like a lot of the same music and there's no hurry to do anything. She is just a really easygoing girl and I love that. It feels right when we're just sitting around being quiet, and it feels right when we're hanging out acting like retards in malls. It's cool to take her out to dinner and it's fine to be a little intoxicated while she just sits back and soaks it all up. She has a gorgeous face and pretty green eyes, and she fits so nicely into me when we curl up. I hope it works out, but all I want is no alarms and no surprises please. Unless of course I find out she's a nymphomaniac. ;)
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