What really grinds my gears
Thursday. 7.12.07 11:37 am
Insecurities have made me who I am today. My lack of self-esteem in myself from years past was the trigger to bury my former self and resurrect a better individual; at least, I would hope so.
Seriously, I have no idea what was going on in my head before where I had to literally pretend to be someone else to feel accepted. I think it was because I couldn't accept myself: physically, mentally and especially emotionally. Looking back, I can see how much my encounters with people and the activities I partcipated in my past have totally shaped who I am now.
My fallout with some of those I considered close at one point to my sudden and abrupt dropout of a hiphop dance team to infidelity to an eventual breakdown... it's been one hell of a ride. Of course I contributed to a lot of my burdens, but if none of that happened, where, or WHO, would I be now? Sometimes I click on random blogs from the jump off points on my page and I get inspiration from those that I read. Some people have several followers as seen by the comments, others have absolutely none. But does that mean the latter isn't as equal as the former? No. It just means that someone has yet to appreciate their thoughts enough to leave a trackback, not some stupid pornomatic spambot with those dumb links to whatever tickles your pickle porn.
I've never been one to get nekkid on my blog, but is it an increasing trend? I mean, WOW. Some people have balls (no pun intended) to do such a thing. Not that I'm not confident enough in myself to do the same, but it's just, you know, not my thing. Besides, I feel like if I ever resorted to that I would feel trashy. Not saying that those who do are, but that is definitely relative to the individual. If done creatively, than it could be a beautiful thing, but otherwise, you might as well have exhibitionist tatted on your forehead and call it a day. But I guess some people like that as well.
Alright, enough with the incessant banter. I need to get back to work while watching Naruto 3 on the iPhone.
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Monday. 2.18.08 1:08 am
Sometimes I get nostalgic about the early 90s, and sometimes even the 80s. I mean ok, I'm by no means old (I'm 22) but at times I like to daydream and imagine how it might have been like at my age now 15-25 years ago.
Obviously I wouldn't be typing on this MacBook Pro, nor would I have an iPhone or even a cell phone period from which I get all my technological geek cred. But if anything, growing up then seemed to be a lot... different. Technology has a lot to do with it; No myspace, no facebook, no nuTang. No internet as I know it now.
I don't know. I know that music can personify the period in which it was produced or conceived, and in today's world it isn't any different. Shuffling through my iTunes library I pass through 90s Janet, Ice Cube, CrazySexyCool TLC, and even Atlantic Starr. The songs send me into mental overdrive.
Here's to the not-so-distant past.
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