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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Just for u~
Thursday, January 5, 2012
On 9 December 2011 ...

Ah... I thought to myself ... luckily I bought extra Malaysian pins when I was back in Malaysia on 28 November 2011, as they come in handy now since I have to prepare a pre-Christmas gift that suits today's theme: Something small. The blue Malaysian pin with KL tower in the background is really small... to fit in the receiver's mailbox...

I found a small plastic on my coffee table for the pin and hastily insert it in. I then tore a small piece of paper and was about to ink it, but my hand paused. I have written to the receiver before ... and writing with left hand is not a great idea for I worry the message will look like some kind of Halloween title instead. The only solution is to print the message to accompany the gift.

What message should I write? I kneeled in front of the computer and played with the keyboards... Suddenly ... an idea thundered! I shall play with punctuation marks! Thus I typed

Something small ...

with the pin clipped on the message.

I looked around and relieved for there were no one in the walkway. I walked up to his mailbox and placed the gift inside it at 11.40pm-ish, hoping he will not guess who the giver is ...

Spinoff: The first thought I had is ... AIYA .. why la didn't I get a girl to be my Christmas buddy. It would be so much easier for me to choose a gift! Don't you agree?!

However, the truth is I already knew it would be a guy ... in fact I even knew who it were!!! But as usual, I ignore the premonition... and continue wishing it would be a girl!

There was a voluntary Christmas gift exchange with themes that lasted for four days. I signed up just for the fun of it. I don't remember when I got the premonition, but most likely it would be during one of my reveries. When I found out it was a guy who know me ... I had a headache in preparing the gifts since my items will give out my identity! So do you wanna know what I have given him the next day? Check out the tembak! post then!

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Kicking A**
Thursday. 1.5.12 8:02 am

On 10 December 2011 ...

I actually don't know what possessed me to volunteer to present the Cambodian martial arts to the PYs. Maybe I could not escape from the word "FREE GIFT" when I was told that I would be getting some souvenirs from Cambodia should I say yes. Oh well... old habit die hard, I guess. So I said yes. But the truth is not because of the free gift, it's to try out new things and not wanting to regret for letting go any limelight moment (just kidding)! And I was told my partner will be my YL.

BWAHAHA. I will be kicking my YL's a**. I like that. (evil laugh)

I practised a lot of times so our stances look real as I was sooo concerned that my physical limitations will ruin the performance. Also, I have lost touch with my martial art skills, thus, more concern wrinkles on my face.

When YL and I appeared on stage, my contingent members who were sitting on the floor were shouting in Malay "Hey ... don't forget to be gentle when you hit YL'" and "Yay! AYL is in action with YL". I wanted to bare my teeth at them but I can't since any martial art sessions require serious look from participants. =(

So anyways, we did two actions. One is where I reflect YL's hit and the other is YL reflecting my hit. It was an interesting performance, though I'm having difficulty in sitting on my leg position. And ... I dislike my expression in this photo. It makes me look like Garfield! ARGHHH!

Spinoff: I chose to join the Cambodian martial arts as my cultural activity. I still remember how the person-in-charge of this activity tried to convince me to volunteer to do a presentation. I knew of his intention when he approached me, so I kept avoiding him. It ended up in a hide and seek game. Not literally or verbally but physically! I ran around the deck before hiding behind a huge pillar and popping my head left and right as he tried to talk to me. I guess I had fun bullying him. BWAHAHA. (evil laugh). You know he almost gave up on me! I know I'm very EVIL and NAUGHTY!

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Wednesday, January 4, 2012
My friend has the craziest idea: To marry our cats (when we have one) together so we can be in-laws! So we can always keep in touch with each other and never forget one another!

Fantastic idea right?

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It's a squid! It's a ika! It's AYL!
Monday, January 2, 2012

On 6 November 2011 ...

Ever since my collegemate wore a jester hat to class, I developed an interest for having such interesting headpiece too.

This dream finally came true after 6 years of waiting ... in the form of a squid headpiece! My host mum in Hakodate runs a merchandise business that sells Hakodate's mascot: Ika (squid in Japanese). Actually I shamelessly asked for it, and it's the most expensive merchandise in her shop. BWAHAHAH.

Today, all PYs had a ship tour according to SG. We were all thrilled to visit the bridge (room from which the ship is commanded). However, our turn was only at 4.30 pm and we had plenty of time to kill! So we did a group photo on the deck!

I'm the easiest to be spotted because of my headpiece! I was actually kinda hesitant to wear it, but then I was thinking if I don't wear it today ... when would I have the chance to do it? So I wore it for the ship tour and attracted lots of attention.

The most awkward one happened in the afternoon like 3 pm-ish. All SGs were having their own gathering before the tour, and there was a SG grouping in front of the water cooler on level 3. As I was lazy to go back to my room for a glass of water, I headed to the water cooler, passing that SG group with my Ika headpiece. They were discussing something with a National Leader when I walked pass them. And the moment I passed by ... they stopped talking and all eyes were on me following me until I disappeared into the walkway where the water cooler is situated. After quenching my thirst, I walked pass them again and... again their eyes trailed after me.

I was like "What is wrong with you guys?!" You know ... if I were really in a crazy mode at that point of time, I would have done an Ika dance (a ceremonial dance from Hakodate) for them ... since they could not take their eyes off me. In fact, I was tempted by my thought! Maybe I should just do it!

The next day ...

It seemed my Ika headpiece made me kinda well-known on board for no one else wore such interesting piece. I wore it also to match my SG outfit and to show how proud I were to have my homestay in Hakodate!

Later, I was given an impression that my team member had an interesting way of introducing me to his SG mates. You see he was one of the PYs I was passing by yesterday ... and according to him, his SG mates were shocked to see someone with such headgear. That explained the silence ... hmm ... nod nod. And then after I completely disappeared from the walkway ... he proudly told the National Leader "That girl who was wearing the squid hat is the AYL of Malaysia."

Err.. my head tilted to one side and err ... laughed with staccato notes ...

Spinoff: As I expected... I created an interesting way to enable people to remember me! Go renaye go!

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1... 2... 3...
Monday, January 2, 2012
On 14 December 2011 ...

My friend and I sat on a bench on 4th floor to enjoy the night sky and listened to the melody of the waves for the second last time.

While we were chatting, I saw 1... 2... 3... shooting stars above me ...

Spinoff: I didn't make any wish upon the shooting stars because they were shooting too fast! Before I could say "I wish", it already disappeared!! My friend joked that is why there are usually so many shooting stars at one go so we could simply finish our sentences. First star will be "I" then second star will be "Wish" and so forth. I bet God is very impatient to listen to our wishes ... I wonder who is the idiot started wishing on a shooting star? And who is the idiot following his footstep? He'd better guarantee wishes made upon shooting stars will come true! Apparently, my team members witnessed around 20 shootings stars the very same night... =(

I would definitely remember this night for its yellow moon slightly concealed by the clouds... for its strong cold wind on my face. It's the best weather I ever had since walking down those lonely roads in Wellington ...

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Room 5XX
Monday, January 2, 2012

On 14 December 2011 ...

I was resting on the sofa in our cabin in the afternoon, while spacing out and gazing at my cabin mates walking around in our cabin. The day before we had nightmare from packing our luggage to check out. I was indeed exhausted accompanied with backache and a twisted foot. I don't know ... but I'm always amuse to watch my roomie from Thailand doing things ... and ... she was placing her handbag next to her pillow on the upper bunk. (We slept on a double decker). She was about to leave the room but she returned to re-position the bag properly and I SNAPPED from revery.

My breathing stopped. My eyes won't leave her pillow. My heart started to race. I was overwhelmed with a familiar fear I have known a long time ago...

IT is there. IT is watching me with a strong presence lingering in the air ...

What should I do?!

My Thai roomie left the room immediately she arranged the bag. I was alone in the room. I dare not say "GET OUT" fearing the unknown future. What should I do?!

I averted away and calculated my options while stabilising my heart beat with slow breathing, but it didn't help. I reached to a decision, which is to stay in the room even though I should leave the room immediately. I chose this option because there is nowhere else I can go to rest since I wanted to nap.

This is not the first time IT was watching me. In fact this is its third time. If I didn't had any disturbance earlier, it should be OK to be in the same room with IT, I assured myself despite feeling very uncomfortable.

So I acted normal. I started tidying the room ...

I was relieved to hear the admin's announcement for my contingent to check out the luggage at 4 pm-ish. I gladly left the room and returned at 4.30 pm, and was disappointed for the presence didn't leave at all. Not even a tiny bit!

My cabin mates were nowhere in sight. And I was dying to say out loud about the fear I was experiencing. I wanted to tell my cabin mates!! When one of my cabin mates returned in the evening after dinner, I wanted to tell her "Please stay with me," but the words caught in my throat, and I saw her left the room ...

I was alone again. And I was tired. I napped hoping IT would be gone. Instead, I woke up to the overwhelmed uneasiness. The race in my heart didn't subside at all... In fact, how can I even sleep knowing there IS something else in the room?

Sensing it might not leave any time soon, I decided to leave the room to catch up with friends when I still can command fear and anxiety ...

Later at night

"Roomies??? I have something to share with you on the 16th of December before we leave ..." I said.

Spinoff: My worst fear is to be disturbed via dreams or seeing shadows and reflection not belong to me in the mirrors in my cabin. I somewhat anticipated to experience such encounter. I just pray that my encounter would be less scary than the last time I had in 2011. I'm fed up and tired of feeling frightened even in my own home. Thus, I'm sorta grateful that I only experienced this encounter the second last day of my departure. I shared this encounter with a close friend, and we were both glad that it happened on the 14th of December not November. Phew~ But it really is a torture not being able to tell my Thai roomie for more than 20 days that IT was on her bed.

I remember the first two times it happened ... We were not in as we were attending some activities - I think discussion group - but occasionally I sneaked out to get food from my room. It first happened one afternoon. I went back to my room to grab something. The moment I stepped into the room, I felt something watching me from the upper bunk. But as usual, I ignored it, telling myself I'm just too sensitive. It was gone the next time I returned to the room. Just didn't know why the third time ... was ... more eerie...

On one hand, I'm glad that I'm not the type of people who can see the unseen clearly. I could only see shadows and occasionally body parts like hands and feet. Sigh. On the other hand, I fear my level of sensitivity is returning to the level I once had 10 years ago. Oh well, just bring it on!

By the way, I felt better after leaving the room. I visited a friend and in the middle of our chat, this pal suggested to go to my room. I seriously went gag. Instead, I suggested to go out to get some fresh air. And we did ...

Continue in 1... 2... 3....

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