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Points for Accuracy
Wednesday. 1.27.10 11:48 pm

Katie: And they're giving us a pizza party!
Mr. Dobbins: Same day as Chemistry and History
Katie: ^.^
Katie: It's like an apology.
Mr. Dobbins: Not really,
Mr. Dobbins: It's like being slapped, given a pain killer and then getting stabbed.

Not looking forward to March. Mock exams loom. In the long run, though, all this is nothing. It will be a speck on the timeline of my life, assuming that I live for quite a while afterward.

Either way, his simile was right on the dot. Especially since History, the slap, comes first. Chemistry is the killer.

CaO3 + H2SO4 -> CaSO4 + H2O + CO2!

Burned into my memory forever. Acid rain never felt so real.

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Tuesday. 1.26.10 9:06 pm
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An Overreaction
Friday. 1.15.10 4:10 pm
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Positive Penny Powers Up!
Thursday. 1.7.10 9:28 pm


Today, I realized that I'm getting back on track with things. I went through all my saved and cherished voicemails and deleted all the ones with the lost in them. By "the lost," you know, I mean people I just don't have/want/get along with anymore.

It feels really, really good, just to know that I'm free of the burden and pain. I plan on putting the photos somewhere else far from my regular attention, too. I plan on locking things away until I'm older and can appreciate what happened, despite how everything morphed and filled with hate or hurt or resentment or whatever it was in all those weird cases over the years.

I am going to live my life with every single feverish heartbeat I have.

The point of living isn't always to hang on. It's good to have firm roots, and it's okay to have memories. In fact, most of us can't imagine life without any roots. But, at some point, you have to come back to choice.

There is always, always, always a choice. You can loosen that grip.

The very last voicemail promised that next time there would be more listening, and less jumping to conclusions.

I pressed seven, I pressed seven, oh thank goodness I pressed seven and it was gone.

And, hey, I've mentioned Neb from the ROTC Ball I wrote about when I was fourteen or fifteen, and from the party I had this summer. He's back for another round of friendship.

We have something, but it's nothing, and it is the strangest nothing I have ever experienced, amen. It's a nonlationship. It never goes anywhere. It is fantastic because it doesn't exist.
And yet it does exist?
And yet it does.
It's strange, but he's been my friend longer than a lot of people. Maybe not when you add all the time up. XD That's all we'll be, in any case. I don't want more. I haven't honestly been really into any guys since this past summer, and that's unlikely to change.
Which is good. My math score is going to soar.

There's a rainbow pinwheel in front of me and I have faith up to my newly pierced ears.

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