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When Things go Lopsided
Sunday. 6.25.06 10:10 pm
Oh it started out fine. The usual routine. Pretend that my girlfriend isn't my girlfriend. (Dating people at work sucks ass.) Then we finally get away. We go out to dinner, go to a movie. I dunno. Somewhere along the drive home I just started feeling... weird. I don't even know how to describe it. Sure, it could easily have been the fact that I'd been awake for 15 some odd hours..
I dunno. For the first time in my relationship I started feeling like she and I weren't right for each other. Which is an awful thing to feel when you've already talked about marriage and moving away together and kids.
Okay, so I guess a little background is in order for those that don't know anything about me. (Which is.. everyone, I guess.)
My girlfriend's parents own the hotel where I work, and she's the manager of the front desk (where I work.) So as you can imagine, that puts kind of a strain on the relationship. 1) I have to pretend we're not going out. Which is hard for me to do. Especially when she's so damn good at it. 2) We both work crazy hours, so we hardly ever see each other. I mean half the time it's like we're not even dating. We're just people that work together.
I've been working at this place for 2 years now, so already I'm sick of being here. And the job prospects suck in this area. But my girlfriend and I have a plan to move to LA when her parents are done with her (No telling when that will be). Except that I don't know if I can wait that long. I'm so sick of being here in this tiny friggin town with all the crap I have to put up with at this job. And all I want to do is be with her and get our lives started. I want to just go.. now.. and not have to worry about it. I just want to say "We don't need your mom to buy us a house or a car or any crap. Let's just go. We'll work and get a place and just.. live.." Yet I know.. deep down I know she won't do that. Because whatever it is she's staying for is more important than me. She doesn't even like her mom! Her mother is this awful woman who abandoned her when she was a kid and left her with her dad and her bitch of a step mother.
And then comes back when she's older and tries to be a real mother, and expects her to be a good korean even though her mother was never there to instill those values in her.
But for some reason Jen (my girlfriend) feels like she owes this woman something. So she stays and works her ass off, putting a strain on her, on me, and on us. And I'm just so sick of it.
Yet what the hell can I do? I can't quit. There's nowhere for me to go until Jen's mother is either done with her or Jen finally decides she's had enough. Either way, the only thing I have to look foward to is another 2 years of crap working here with a girl who's about 10% my girlfriend and 90% my boss.
Randomosity and Curiosity
Saturday. 6.24.06 8:03 pm
Right, so in an effort to keep my blog active with at least one post a day, I may have to resort to just babbling off any random thing that comes into my head. Although some might argue that's what they use their blog for anyway...
Regardless... I will try to find something worth while to say at least... half the time. Or maybe a third of the time.
Cars was a good movie. And Pixar is awesome. They certainly have the corner on animation. Right away with a Pixar movie, from the first frame, you can see the difference in detail between them and say, Disney or Dreamworks. They blow the others out of the water. And even their stories are always well balanaced. Enough cuteness for the kids, and enough hilarity for the adults/young adults.
I'm not really a fan of Nascar. For the same reason I'm not a fan of Tennis. Seems boring to me, to watch cars go round and round. ( As it seems boring to watch a ball go back and forth. ) However, the one thing I respect about Nascar, (or more specifically, Nascar drivers) is that most of the big name drivers are very humble guys. You never hear them say "I won this race", "I'm going to the championship"... They always mention their racing team. It's always "We". Which I think is awesome.
*Ponders.* Not bad. Three combined paragraphs. That should do for now. If I think of more to say later, I'll update. I'm going to see a movie tonight with my girl, (either The Breakup or The Lake House), so I'm sure I'll have some opinions to share when I return. For now... (insert foreign farewell)!
Okay, I figured it would be better to respond to Bartholomew's comment here rather than leave an unrelated response to their most recent blog entry. Although I left a comment anyway, to be nice. ^^
So! To the response.
It takes skill to drive a race car too. It gets very hot in those cars, and they have to keep control of a heavy piece of machinery that's going very fast. But my point wasn't to say that tennis was somehow easier than nascar. My point was that, for me, watching tennis is about as interesting as watching nascar. Now, Tennis movies, on the other hand... those are just fine. Wimbledon is one of my favorites.
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