the beginning (a simple seed) ~the classic crime
i left my heart in a plastic box
on the bedside table, it will be locked
til i get home
i'm growing feeble and tired of the world
tired of constantly missing my girl
and i long to smell the sea
i miss the Pacific Ocean
and the northwestern air
and run each of my fingers
through the strands of her hair
ive been over this country lately
but i've been nowhere it seems, nowhere
but ive found the cure to my landlocked blues
its coming home to you
if a simple seed
gets just what it needs
then a redwood tree can grow
up to a hundred feet
and endure the sleet and the snow
but if my whole life
was wrapped and priced
i wonder what the tag would show
cuz everytime im close to the holy ghost
i let her go
i let her go...
i left my heart in a plastic box
on the bedside table
it will be locked, til i get home
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31
quotes i'd like to save...
-=How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd=- ~Alexander Pope
-=ur the sunshine after the rain, the tylenol to my pain=-~me
-='I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry=- ~ W.H. Auden
-=live ur life, make ur heaven=- ~me reflecting upon stuff i learned at yfc
-=life isnt measured by the breaths u take, but moreso the number of breaths u take away=-~meggyo's profile
Friday. 4.15.05 8:49:57 pm
well then. today. had a test in health. all multiple choice. got a C on the big big grade. so i'm pretty sure i'm going to have a solid C in the class. *sigh*...so if i got a C in that class...and...say..art? hopefully i'll pull out an A in my spanish history class...probably gonna get an A in my other spanish...but if those 2 As balance out art and health...that leaves....geography...and...history. i'm pretty sure i can pull out Bs in those classes. if im lucky i'll even get an A in geography. but anyway. yeah. it all balances out to a 3.0. which means reduced college tuition. SO i'm feeling good. ANYWAY now that i just did my spiel on gpa, on to the rest of my day. test on health...and then i actually went to the main campus (whereas my health class is at amils) and there...i engaged in my guilty pleasure.......magic the gathering. yep. i'm a dork, i know. its a hobby. so sue me. anyway...it was like this 'gaming club' thing at 1 oclock on fridays that i heard about so i decided to check it out..and so. yeah. it was pretty interesting to see how i faired against other ppl in intellectual stature, cuz thats what its all about in any trading card game. but anyway..i enjoyed it. i measured up pretty well. i mean like i wasnt at the bottom of the barrel...and yeah i wasnt quite at the top of the heap either. so...yeah. i didnt do bad. actually got into a mild tournament format kinda thing...got to the semi finals... (there was only 3 rounds)...but yeah..i've done a thing like that before but never got past the 1st round, and i made it this time. ah but the highlight was probably when i was playing in the semi final. my opponent was arguably the best player in there...and i could have won. it came extremely close. a particular slight error on my part cost me the game, if not the round (cuz it was best outta 3). but yeah i loved it. i guess im just a good sport er whatever...but i loved how close it was...and how tense the situation was...i mean..just the competition. its a rush. haha. kinda sad i was like...shaky just playing this game of cards. whatever blows up ur skirt......ahem but ok. so yeah i was there for surprisingly close to 4 hours. ALSO...there was ppl playing video games, and i won in the one video game i played which was melee. quite the triumph for me. hahahaha...wow ok so that was that. made my way home...to find out mike/nick/casey/danny are going to the orioles/yankee game. figure i'd go if someone else was going because mike got hooked up with 4 free seats...so the ppl after those 4 would hafta sit apart from the other 4. so....yeah. i got home n called the denison household, turns out they went to work/already left for the game. and then before i get to decide if i wanna go er not...my mom rolls out...goes to the groceries...so i think 'meh, i'd be late....i do have some work to do...' so i dont go. and i've been home since 5ish. first time in a while i've been home on a friday night.......so..yeah i'm kinda lonely. but maybe its a sign i REALLY should do some work. especially art. cuz i havent painted...and i really really should. plus...meggyo isnt even around. not that im mad at her er nething cuz shes out watching a ballgame too haha...small world. everyoneeee is watching baseball but me. i was even thinking about watching it on tv just so i wouldnt feel left out.. *sigh* i've been walking around the campus like theyre my last steps on its grounds...and they mildly are...i wonder how my friends are with that whole situation....i heard somewhere....'if your car broke down, and u couldnt call a family member....who would you call?' i mean...thats an interesting benchmark for a true friend. i mean u may not call someone you dont really know...n itd just be bothering them. but u'd call someone cuz u know u'd do the same thing for them...and it'd prolly be a mutual feeling. well hopefully. so if i were to ask myself that...and if all the people i know were close enough to get me (sorry meggyo, soon tho) and were capable of driving(sorry nick/casey)...just off the top of my head...meggyo obviously comes to mind (as she usually is on my mind...) and also mike comes to mind. but i could call nick too....the denisons...although i'm pretty sure the denisons would rather like....run 'across country' to some tow truck place er something if they themselves broke down.....n nick would prolly call up mike first. i dont think i'd call casey right off tho. jeez not to say shes not cool er nething..but honestly i dont think she'd be hanging out with a losers like mike and i (haha or should i say losers like mike...plus awesome folks like mike?) if it werent for nick being around us so much. ha...i still remember the first time casey actually hung out with the whole gang in addition to nick. i was driving...the lexus still...and we had like 7 ppl in the car. freaking..ridiculous.....*sigh*...but in a good way hehe...good times.....i went on a music spree because i've been going insane on the same 89 songs which basically consisted of...
from first to last
deathcab for a cutie...
man i was thinking about getting a deathcab shirt...but meh.i was thinking to myself...man if i wanted to get any band shirt...what would i get. i think i'd prolly want a from first to last shirt the most. 2nd an LX shirt. obviously those werent at hot topic. i'd prolly go for like...a dashboard one or a silverstein one...but they dont look very spiffy.. i mean if they were the least amount of spiffy looking, then i'd get em. but no. the jimmy eat world one with the chemical structure on it looks nice tho....but um...yeah..i think i'm gonna paint now. because...art is tomorrow..its about gosh damn time i got one of these things wrote.
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Thursday. 4.14.05 4:59:54 pm
pshaw. why is it that lately ive been incessantly hungry. i mean this is pretty ridiculous i mean i eat like i usually eat but i end up hungry in a lil over an hour later. i mean...maybe im growing....i just said 'i mean' about a thousand times. well i exaggerate but anyway....this middle east stuff....well i'm mildly studying it for a test i have in approximately an hour and a half. just a map....the capitals n all that jazz. and so. i sit here typing madly into this tang of nu....still kinda hungry. what shall i eat. i mean i could spend money on ridiculously priced sandwiches in the mini cafeteria downstairs...or i could walk to the mall and buy like....taco bell....or....drive to mcdonalds....but that would cost gas. and a lil too much effort. oo i could go to quiznos.....i've never really been there. freaking hell i'm going to subway. for a 6 inch and a soda. *end of nutang entry* *BaM!*
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whats around the corner???
Wednesday. 3.30.05 10:58:56 am
i'd say thats the question of the moment-of the hour- of my life
at the current point in time. lots of things are changing. the seasons. i got accepted to slippery rock. my attitude toward my workplace has taken a turn for the worse. and it never ceases to amaze me how the relationship between meghan and i continues to evolve...
i'm thinking about....
what kinda job i want while im at school in slippery rock
a list of stuff i need to bring to slippery rock!
(obviously) maybe i'll purchase a pair of pants..and a shirt.....thats it. haha who knows.
teeth stuff. shower stuff.
laundry detergent. fabric softener?
a freaking computer. thats gonna put a dent in my pocket no doubt.
i've attempted to write this blog like 3 times. and after each attempt i know i've lost/forgotten what i've wanted to write. jeez...
ha at work the other day, i saw a town named Brick in new jersey. ha. ridiculous. i'm so done.
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spring break...has already begun.
Tuesday. 3.22.05 8:57:22 am
my goodness....so yeah. its spring break. possibly my last 'spring break' in maryland. and i must say..its off to a pretty good start. *knock on wood* watched a couple movies....the ring 2, and hostage. casey/nick paid for my ticket which was cool cuz i've bought them many a movie ticket hehe....hostage however costed me 9 bux even on a sunday evening. they didnt take my student ID cuz its outta date. *sigh*...i'll get a new one first chance i get. ANYway...yeah...ring 2 wasnt bad but Hostage was pretty awesome. its bruce willis as a negotiator police guy...and like....the situation he has to negotiate is a really important criminal er something...and so the friends of the criminal take bruce willis's family hostage....SO. bruce turns out to be a negotiator and a hostage at the same time. so its a pretty engrossing movie i'd say. definitely worth the 9 bux. wooh. so...man what else to talk about. i've actually been pretty productive around the house as well. i've washed all my laundry (my goal today is to fold it all), and even a bit of homework. and YEAH the weather hasnt been too bad either. a lil rain on sunday..but i actually got to play some basketball. especially yesterday. monday....wow. mike, danny, chris, and i went to the park to play a lil bball, and ended up meeting up with 6 other folks for full court 5 on 5...wwwwwwwow. it was a lotta running up n down. i have blisters to prove it. but YEAH. there was mike, chris, danny, and i, plus 3 lil kids, plus 3 big older guys (prolly in their 20s) one of the big older guy was talking so much trash talk. prolly the highlight of my game was when i swatted him. it wasn't just a piece of the ball. i didnt foul him. it was all ball, and freaking a lot of it. oh man...just that one block made the whole like 1.5 hours of running/walking up and down court worth while. little chris was on fire for the most part of the game, til i started sticking him on defense. i also got a decent block another big older guy. he was reaaaaally tall tho...oh man. i'm afraid i wont be playing too much basketball for now tho....*sigh* silly blisters. anyway.....
its currently tuesday. only 3.8 days left til meghan is in townnn. my friends are pretty eager to meet her, and meghans psyched too. maybe a lil nervous, but psyched nonetheless. man...meghan and i have been doing a lot of contemplative planning for if/when i go to slippery rock. roommates....studying....hanging out...pool....man...i havent gotten anything back from slippery rock just yet, but its still pretty early. wooh buddy...i think i better get to work on something now hehe. tty soon baboon *ffffftpvvvv*
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Friday. 3.11.05 9:52:11 am
WHOOP. well i just got done with a test in health. and i think i got at least a B in it so yeah. i dont know if im doing so good in that class i should probably calcu-ma-late my grade in there cuz i have like this running grade sheet thing that i can do that...hmph...but yeah i really dont have too much time to journalize but i just felt like typing...i'll prolly write an entry on monday er sunday night when i get back from meggyo's house and thennnn all kinds of stuff to talk about like slippery rock...and matt leaving....oh man. well ok i better get back to class plus i think im starting to get on peoples nerves with all this typing muahahahahahaha. ok bye. *shhhhhpfffffffft*
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ok now i feel like i can type out some stuff
Sunday. 3.6.05 7:13:02 am
ok so im sitting here. freaking a lil past 7am on a sunday morning, eating a bowl of frosted flakes. not that im upset...i actually mustered up some umph...so here i am. i woke up at 5:30 this morning...i was coughing..so i got up n decided to stay up for at least a lil while. so naturally..i go to the computer. i check out whos on, some away messages, the usual. so yeah. that activity piddles out after awhile, and i go back up to my room. and i whip out my guitar. now...yesterday. matt [diaz] came back to town. it was cool cuz i called right as he walked into his house. but anyway...a bunch of us congregated at dannys house....and it was so great. matt [diaz], another matt[smith], mike, danny, nick, casey, BRETT was even there, young, chris(dannys lil bro), plus the denisons, george, and andrea hung around for awhile. they really really missed out on the completeness of the evening...but altogether...13 teenagers? oh well george is 20. ha. but anyway....it was quite the time...from video games (silly dunking contest)...to pool (my team surprisingly actually lost somehow)....to poker(or lack thereof cuz it was so hard to get 6ppl in one room at the same time ha)...to hanging out. now by 'hanging out' last night it wasnt like any other...it was very enjoyable. i mean we never really have a structure for hanging out but...i think yesterday it was like everything kinda clicked....mike/danny/chris/young lingered close to the computer doing some fantasy baseball draft. matt[diaz] got a hold of a guitar...as did the other matt[smith]. ha. oh wow...dannys dad Mr. Calianno actually came down and jammed with matt smith..matt diaz played some familiar songs for the rest of us...we all sang when we could.... the one song that got the most participation outta the crowd was -anthem of our dying day- by story of the year...which is actually playing as u read this....so yeah...matt was playing that acoustically....10 of us or so were singing along with it.....it was really awesome....and now that i think of it...the lighting was really nice too. the kitchen and living room are kinda like in the same open area...so the with the kitchen light on..and a lamp slightly in need of a lightbulb change provided the atmosphere with a quiet intimate glow...while still having everyone visible...wow...so yes.....anyway. i was really impressed by matt[diaz]. hes changed a lot since the last time i saw him. hes more toned down...and like more mature it would seem...but he can still be the old goofy mateo i know. hehe..i dont see how he doesnt have like groupies follwing him all over the place. but he does have a gf so he doesnt need 'groupies'. i'm really happy for him...hes prolly living it up right now. almost done with school...about to get shipped out...for money...while getting more educated prolly...for a few years then hes gonna be out and well off...n with this musical talent of his he can live a content and full life........anyway back to last night. nick and casey actually started slow dancing..to matts music...he was playing cigarette by yellowcard....*sighh* that was prolly the night's epitome of me missing meghan ...wow...what else.... pff...wow...its funny that like i started out talking about this morning...and went off on the complete side story of last night. ha. well ok this morning...i started jammin on my guitar due to my inspiration from mateo...the thought crossed my mind: 'this isnt really impressive...or maybe its just not meant to impress..its for me to relax...' er something like that. but then i thought 'maybe im just thinking that so i dont work that hard on the guitar'...and i think the truth of it all is a mix of those two thoughts..like i wanna mildly impress people if/when they hear me play...but it'll prolly take literally years before i get anywhere near close to mateo's caliber of playing....hm. but yeah i jammed for like an hour...messing around with chords from the guitar music book i rarely use. wow i think the sun was actually rising as i played for that hour.....kinda spiffy. well i think i'm gonna go do something. PROBABLY fold clothes...cuz its ridiculous how much clean clothes i have just sitting on top of my bed. hahaha wow someone told me the other day 'once i had a 5 year old moment...and bought a bunkbed-i was 16' n shes like 19 now er something. hahahahaha so i told her 'wow thats pretty sad, cuz i have a bunkbed nowww that i've had since like the 3rd grade' haha...n i may even hafta bunk it up at towson too....ha.....wow towson...i should probably talk about that...getting accepted into towson...i thought that once i got in it woulda been such a relief. and it was...but after a lil while, the stress just kinda went up n leveled off again cuz now i hafta worry about money. a pretty sizeable amount too. its pretty costly to go to a university...n if i thought paying off aacc tuition was difficult....... *breath* i'm gonna do it. im GOING to KICK tuitions ASS. YUP! THATS RIGHT. CUZ U KNOW WHAT FINANCIAL PROBLEMS!?? i can beat you. i will beat you. so i can become a teacher. and i love it.
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the number is lesser in value..and easier to swallow
~'would you like something to drink'
if your stomach feels weak, then my work here is done
~'the words "best friend" become redefined'
if theres no one beside you when your soul embarks, i'll follow you into the dark
~'i'll follow you into the dark'
i'll be floating out at sea, waiting for periscopes to spot my warm body
~'no ace, just you'
this is the part where i'll admit i'm getting what i deserve
~'lost and found'
lets sleep tonight on a bed of nails, so that every other night doesn't seem so painful after all
~'beter than sex'
if it were up to me, you're gone, i've been dying to get it into you somehow
hours pass, and she still counts the minutes that i am not there, i swear i didn't mean for it to feel like this
wanna fuck up my life?-i'll let you.
this is the rhythm i was signing to the beat of my feat as i walked away
~'i fought the broad (and the broad won)'
ur stomach's filled up but ur starved for conversation
~'soco amaretto lime'
if i could, i'd only want to make you smile
~'make you smile'
the past is only the future with the lights on
~'baby, come on'
morning always comes too quick when you're around..
i beg not to escape permeating my pores, whetting my appetite for more
~'amanda's poem about unicorns '
ur stomach's filled up but ur starved for conversation
~'soco amaretto lime'
love me gently with a chainsaw
~'tie her down'
smiles and her laughter, its the only thing that ive been waiting for
so many high points on this last leg, i cant wait to recount them- it seems like nothings happened until ive shared them with you
~'shirts and gloves'
ur lips, ur eyelashes- ur skin, these are the parts of ur body that cause my comatose to begin
~'all hail the heartbreaker'
lets start out-by starting over... ~'lovers and liars'