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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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Friday. 10.14.16 6:53 pm
*disclaimer: longer entry ahead; you've been warned*

As I mentioned previously, my vacation became rather busy starting on that Monday, the 3rd. Sunday the 2nd, was Rosh Hashanah so it was a wonderful family dinner. The food was delicious; my other cousins came over to join. I got to meet the newest member of the family {the wedding from last year, they're parents now} and she was mostly well behaved throughout dinner. I seem to first meet them when they're 3 week old blobs ...

Anywho, Monday was the tour of the National Mall. I got up a little earlier for that, since we wanted to get there shortly after they opened at 10. We spent almost the entire time the museums were open {until 5:30} just walking around. We went to 4 different ones, plus the sculpture garden. It started at the Castle, which is more like a welcome center. Then we moved to the American History Museum, followed by the Natural History Museum, and ending with the Air and Space Museum. It's a hard choice between the Natural History and Air and Space museums. Both are rather fascinating to me, and I took several pictures while inside both.

After walking around the National Mall, I walked to meet up with my cousin's best friend, and we went to a movie. Food didn't happen, but that's mostly because we spent a lot of time in traffic trying to get out of DC, and didn't want to be out too terribly late, since I had to be up early the next morning to drive to NY. We saw Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. It was a very Tim Burton movie, which made it all the more awesome. It's one of those movies that you have to go in with a certain expectation, and it met that expectation.

We did stop afterwards to get something to eat, since neither of us had really had anything to eat since much earlier in the day. Where did we stop? Why, Dunkin Donuts, of course. We don't have that out here, so I needed to obtain munchkins. I got 2 dozen, and ate probably half of them just that night. So. Good.

The next day was the trip up to NY, which I will chronicle in its own blog entry, most likely being the next one I type up.

Thursday when I came back from NY, I stayed up later than I'd anticipated, considering I had early plans for Friday. With as wonky as my sleep schedule was the entire trip, only a few nights did I actually sleep poorly. Even on the nights when I got less sleep than I'd wanted, I still managed to sleep more soundly than I do most nights in general. I keep repeating this, but it truly was the vacation that I needed.

Friday morning was my tour of the Pentagon with my Aunt. I got up early so that I could go in to work with her, and we spent a good 3 hours just wandering the halls. She'd printed out some information on the Pentagon, and asked me to look through it to see which exhibits I wanted to see, and she had a few of her own that she wanted to show me. All in all, I saw everything that had caught my eye on the printout. My favorite, however, was the pink flamingo. You know the style of cardboard cutout that is a "pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey" type of thing? Yeah, it was one of those, along with a palm tree, just thumb-tacked to a wall in a basement level that my Aunt didn't even know existed. No signs, no description, no backstory. Just, a pink flamingo and a palm tree, thumb-tacked to a wall. Aside from that, the NORAD exhibit was probably my favorite thing.

Just being in the Pentagon was awesome. There were a couple things that she'd wanted to show me that we ended up running out of time for {she was on the clock and really did have actual work that she needed to do, after all} so we will be saving that for next time. After the tour inside the building, she directed me on how to get to the 9/11 Memorial, so that I could see the benches that they'd put in, along with trying to see if I could tell where exactly the part of the building had been replaced. There's just the slightest difference in color, but because the replaced part of the building has been weathered for the last 15 years, it's harder to distinguish than I imagine it would have been 15 years ago.

Once I was finished there, I walked over to the metro station and headed in to the city again to meet up with the same friend. He was dog sitting for a friend of his, of which she was nice enough to welcome me in to her home, so we just kind of hung out with the dogs for a while. Later that evening we went out to dinner. The place we'd done minimal research on Yelp for, that sounded really good, was an hour wait so we kept walking. There was another place that he mentioned was similar, but more seafood-y, that we ended up going to. The wait for that was 45 minutes, but it ended up only being about 35 minutes. By the time we got in there, we most likely would have still been waiting for the other place.

The food was delicious! It was called the Hamilton, and I highly recommend the mac and cheese bites. I got sushi, because sushi, and he got a burger. We each picked at the fries that came with his dish. We each got a drink, I had two, and I was quite comfortable by the end of the second one. Since we were walking, and not needing to drive anywhere, it was my first chance to really indulge, and so I did.

After dinner, we headed over to the National Monuments. I'm wanting to say that it was around 8 or 9 by the time we finished dinner, but it was definitely after midnight before we headed back to the apartment. It was such a gorgeous night!! I absolutely loved walking around the Monuments, seeing the other people out enjoying the evening as well. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've seen the photos from that evening date. We started out at the Washington Monument, which is still closed for repairs, but it was still really cool to see up close. I think I took more photos of that, from different angles and distances, than everything else we saw that night. The White House, the National Treasury, the WWI and WWII memorials were in there. The FDR and MLK Jr memorials were in there. Lincoln Memorial was really nifty seeing up close. I very much enjoyed the walk around the Reflection Pool, as well as walking along the Tidal Basin. Aside from the weekend beach trip {which will also have its own entry} this night was my favorite night of the entire 2 weeks.

And that's where I'm going to end this one. NY and VA Beach will each have their own separate entries, so as to ensure each gets the proper attention for details. Each will be, most likely, as long as this one. Fair warning.

Until then. . .

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Rainy season
Thursday. 10.13.16 9:26 pm
One of the reasons I love Autumn so much is the fact that you are guaranteed rain. The colors change, the ground gets saturated with damp, colorful leaves. The air smells crisp, and of rain. The temperatures drop and you can break out your scarves, gloves, and boots.

This weekend we're apparently supposed to be getting quite the storm. The National Weather Service is saying that we're going to get possible hurricane force gusts and enough rain to cause major flooding; something that doesn't usually happen here. In the event of a power outage, I have located my tiny flashlight, I've stocked up on some non-perishable items, and {finally} purchased an external battery pack for my phone. Worst case scenario, I go sit in my car and idle while the phone charges, but this pack should last me a few days of charges.

My cousin's wife has managed to get me hooked on LulaRoe leggings ... they're so soft!! Buttery was the term deemed worthy of describing them. I own 4 pairs {1 pair is still on its way} and they can be used to help keep me warm this winter season. I also bought a couple pajama sets from VS so I'll have plenty of lounge wear. Do I own any more than 2 long sleeve shirts? Nah. Am I prepared for a week long sleep over? Definitely. Priorities, right?

I'm adulting hard.

Speaking of which, I was supposed to do all the things yesterday, but by the time I got home, started my laundry, and showered, I was exhausted. As soon as my clothes were dry, or hanging up to dry, I went to bed. My hair wasn't even dry yet, but I didn't give a shit. If it looked like crap this morning, I'd've just thrown it up. I'm pretty sure I was asleep before 9:30. But this meant that I needed to still go grocery shopping and buy some essentials for this weekend. So guess who had to go out in the rain to do the remainder of the things ... yeah. At some point I will have to invest in some different outfits so that I can wear boots again. My flats don't agree well with all of this rain. Unless, of course, I purchase rain boots, then just change in to work shoes when I get to work ... hmm, maybe that's a good option.

Anywho, I will be writing about my trip this weekend, depending on whether I have power or not. These entries will be much easier typed on a computer, rather than a tablet. But that's one of the reasons I wanted to write about this "impending storm." Just in case I don't write for a few days, that's why. I'm definitely not going to forget to write about the trip. I need to chronicle what happened. Sometimes things can be seen in a new light when looking back on it.

Until then. . .

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Quick placeholder
Tuesday. 10.11.16 10:33 pm
This morning when I was packing up my things, the want to come home was about 60/40, in favor of staying. Now that I'm actually home, the ratio is significantly higher in favor of wanting to go back.

The entire vacation was simply amazing, aside from the quick thing that happened right when I got there, which I've already chronicled, and the having to say goodbye part of today. So the very beginning and the very end were full of emotions, and it was a complete 180 of the type of emotion being exuded.

I'll detail things over the next few days. NY is going to get an entry on its own. And it's very possible that there will be a part 2 and 3 of the remainder of the trip. In the meantime, I need to get sleep for my return to work tomorrow.

As much as I would like to have an extra day, at this moment in time, I am welcoming the distraction. If I just had an extra day right now, I'd be upset that I wasn't back there.

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A touch of home
Sunday. 10.2.16 12:15 am
It hasn't really stopped raining since I got here. The day I flew in, it was warm and sunny. Since then, it's been exactly like Seattle. Mid-upper 60s, overcast, with periods of rain. Every once in a while it'll start to rain harder, like it typically does on the East Coast, but then it just kind of goes back to Seattle rain. The weather apps have said a few times that it's storming, but I've yet to see any lightning or hear any thunder so ... that's lame. Part of the thing I was looking forward to while being out here was the storms. I miss them. I'm hoping I see at least one storm while I'm out here. I have time.

This first week has been kind of a lazy week. I went on a quick solo adventure yesterday. It was about an hour and twenty minute drive to the Chesapeake Bay coastline in MD. I wasn't out there for very long. That's usually how my solo adventures go, though. I am in the car far longer than I am at the actual place that is my destination. If the drive is a scenic one, I stop several times along the way, or while coming back, to take photos. This one was more just a straight forward shot transitioning over a couple different freeways; nothing terribly scenic about it. However, with the trees lining the roads, and the rainy day, it was very much like the trips I usually take back home.

Other than the trip yesterday, I haven't really done much more than just relaxing. It's exactly what I've been needing. I absolutely adore my cousin's kid. She was just a 3 week old blob the last time I was out here so she definitely has a personality now. It took her about a day to warm up to me. Now she just has another person to climb on, talk to, give things to, take things from. Of course she gets fussy like every other child, and that's the point at which I turn her back over to her parents. They are much better at dealing with it than I am; it's a gene that I'm lacking.

Monday will be the start of a very busy week that I have planned. Tuesday I'll be road tripping up to NY to visit my dad's family, along with various parts of the city itself. I feel like I'm looking more forward to seeing the city, and exploring various things, than I am about visiting the family. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm excited about seeing my uncle and cousins, but I was never really close to them even when I was young, so I'm not really sure how things are going to go.

I'll have a couple days in NY, then I'll be coming back here for a day before road tripping down south to visit my other aunt and cousins that I saw at the wedding last year. It's going to be nice actually having some more reasonable time to hang out with them. It's also a much more relaxed trip, rather than the harried trip from last time. It was such a rushed trip that I didn't have the chance to de-stress at all. This time is so much better.

It really is exactly the vacation I've been needing. The last two were far more stressful than they really should have been.

My birthday is on Wednesday. I'm debating whether to say anything to people out there just to see if I can get some free stuff. If I wasn't turning 30, I probably wouldn't even mention it, but 30 is kind of a turning point in one's life so people tend to make a bigger deal about it. If I can even get a free dessert or entree, then that would be just fine with me. Who knows, I may not try it. I may only say something if asked "what brings you here?"

I wanted to make sure to type at least something while I was out here, so that my entry when I get back isn't a massive one. I know it's harder to read the super long entries. That's why I split most of my vacation entries. Otherwise it would just be obnoxious.

It's kind of entertaining to me; I've been pretty much keeping my sleep schedule on Seattle time. I've been going to be well in to the early hours of the morning {between 2 and 4am} then waking up between 10 and 11am {7 and 8 Seattle time.} It's entirely unintentional. Those are just the hours at which my cousin keeps and I just stay up hanging out with him and his friends, watching them play video games. If I'm really that tired, obviously I'm just gonna go to bed, but it seems to be working out well enough. Perhaps when I get back home it won't be as challenging as it normally is to adjust back to PST.

Anywho, this entry is already longer than I planned on it being so it's time to call it.

Oh, in relation to the previous entry. The disconnect happened. It sucked. Much harder than I anticipated. He blocked me after I told him that I needed to disconnect; not exactly what I was expecting and it hit me way harder than it really should have. It hurt much more than I think it should have had I thought it was going to go that route, but hey, if that's the game that he wants to play? Then I'm done.

Okay, now I'm done.

Until next time...

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The story of a girl, and the boy
Sunday. 9.25.16 11:39 am
She was lonely, and bored, searching through a bunch of faces, swiping mostly left. There were a few here and there that she would swipe right on. Several of these faces had additional photos at the bottom, attached to a separate account, filled with even more photos. After another week or so, she decided that she was too bored with swiping left or right, so she deleted that account, but there was a few of these additional accounts that she would still look through occasionally.

Finally, one day, she decided to be brave enough to like a couple of these photos on one of the accounts, expecting nothing in return, since there'd been a distinct lack of reciprocation from other such gestures. Instead, she got far more reciprocation than anticipated. It caught her off guard, so she reached out, to say thank you.

It turned in to a small back and forth conversation, which then turned to an exchange of phone numbers, and became a daily thing. She got excited about it, and thought, oh, maybe this could go somewhere good! Little did she know, it wouldn't go how she wanted.

She was too giddy about this, but he was so nice! And attentive! He seemed to be okay with the fact that she was so open about things, how she felt, what she thought. The two of them had several things in common; one of her favorite little things that she discovered was that they both hated some of the same foods. It would make dinner dates much easier.

She allowed her mind to wander off to places that it shouldn't. Conversations were about anything and everything. He wasn't really too open on talking about specifics in his personal life, but she felt like that would come with time. Maybe he was just shy? She let it go, and would revisit later.

They met face to face a week after starting up a conversation, and he was even better in person! His voice was so soothing to listen to, he was funny, he made her smile just by being present. Good things are going to come from this, she thought. The fact that the conversation continued even after meeting up, seemed even more promising. It continued even a week later, a month later, but at this point, things were starting to turn.

He became evasive. Suddenly he was always too busy to make time to get together again, but maybe. He would bring up the possibility, then remember this thing he had to do. Or it was blamed on other factors, roommates, friends, activities that were suddenly at the forefront of memory. She thought, okay, maybe he's just busy now. But he seemed really interested in hanging out again, so if she keeps in touch, it'll happen, right? Yeah, it'll happen.

Another month, and still nothing. She got tired of feeling avoided so she voiced her frustrations. She could have handled things differently, sure, but she's rash, abrasive. In the moment, do now, think later. She did warn him that she wasn't nice. She would apologize after every time she snapped. But it got worse.

He just kept egging her on. Eventually he would stop suggesting they hang out, the conversations from the beginning would change. He would no longer talk about her, but about a third party. It was no longer "you" or "we," but rather "them" or "they."

Instead of letting go, she just kept on it. Pushing harder and harder, only making things worse for both of them.

She finally snapped. She lashed out one final time, in an overly abrasive, verbally violent way. And she knew, she knew she was pushing too far, but she didn't care any more. When she finally pushed it one text too far, and he vanished, she hated herself. She hated that she'd gone too far. She questioned why she couldn't learn, why she couldn't have just let it go when she first realized that it wasn't going to become a relationship, or even a friendship. She sent an apology text, and left a tear-filled voicemail saying sorry, and left it alone.

If he wanted to keep talking to her, he would reach out, right? That's what everyone reassured her, despite the fact that all of her friends, at this point, were questioning why she hadn't just let it go. She enjoyed talking to him, she'd say. He was just busy, he'll come around and want to hang out again. But not after that. She at least felt a little better about finally getting it all out of her system, but not about how she'd handled it.

He did finally text back, after a couple days, but it was different. Suddenly there was talk about why he should bother keeping in touch. She tried pathetically to plead her case, but it still kept coming up.

Her friends started to question her reasoning to keep in touch with him even more. He was belittling her, manipulating her, controlling her. But she couldn't just let go. "Just drop him, stop responding." No, she'd say. She hated when people did that to her, so she wasn't going to do that to him. In her mind, she knew that he'd hate her, and that bothered her more than knowing the things that he was saying to her weren't right.

During the most recent month, however, her mind started to change. She realized she wasn't as upset about the fact that there was no chance of seeing him again. She'd not get as frustrated when the conversation would turn to questioning her judgments. Of course, the things he was saying would still get to her, but she'd stop it before it consumed her, and she snapped again.

She learned that they seem to be the only two people who still want to talk to the other; all of his friends think that he should have dropped her a long time ago as well. With this knowledge, she laughed. She got more amusement out of it than she should have, since she suddenly realized she wasn't alone. She has no idea what his train of thought is, but maybe it's closer to her's than she realizes.

She has a plan, it needs to stop. She needs to stop, and she will. It'll suck for a while, but she'll at least do it the right way. She's not going to just disappear, and stop responding. Despite how her friends think and feel toward the situation, she's going to go about it the right way. Or, at least, the nice way. Rather than just disappearing, she'll make sure he knows that she's going to stop.

She can't keep doing this to herself. It's not healthy. She deserves better, someone that will actually want to be around her, will look past her flaws and still think that she's the best thing that's ever happened to them.

And she needs to disconnect from him in order to find herself again. Perhaps one day they can be friends, but today... today she needs to disconnect.

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New look
Thursday. 9.15.16 8:49 pm
After years, and years, of having the same colors, font, etc, I finally decided to change it up. I feel like it's a little easier to read now.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I'm super thankful that it's finally here. I know that people keep saying to live life one day at a time, and to stop wishing weekends would come faster. But I'm looking forward to my vacation, which is rapidly approaching {though I would still like for it to be sooner than it actually is} and the weekend means no work.

This will be my free weekend, to just chill out and do nothing. I mean, I guess I can go do things, so long as they don't cost money. I'm gonna be extra careful with my spending for the next week and a half {really, it'll be much longer than that, because I gotta pay the rent with the check I get right before I go on vacation... but I do want to still have a place to come back home to} so that I'll have at least some kind of extra play money for this trip. I was horrible at saving for this trip. Every time I got paid, and had a bit extra, instead of putting it aside, I'd just spend it because I had it. I don't really want to even think about how much money I've spent on alcohol alone this year. Let alone all the eating out to go with the alcohol.

I'm slowly starting to let people know that I'll be visiting so that they can plan for it. Most of this vacation is for me to get away and de-stress, but parts of it will be going back to my roots and visiting family members I've not seen in over a decade. In some cases, longer. And to also reconnect with the people I briefly saw at my cousin's wedding last summer. They're new parents now ... which is kind of strange to me, but definitely not unexpected. They were together for 10 years after all. They at least got the wedding and honeymoon out of the way before starting a family.

This morning started out in a weird headspace for me. I didn't feel well, mentally, so then all of a sudden, a couple hours in to my shift, my stomach rebelled against me so then I really didn't feel well at all. I just wanted to come home and sleep. However, since it's typically frowned upon to leave in the middle of your shift, I stayed and pushed through it. I talked to a couple of my coworkers about some things I'd had on my mind, and by the end of the shift, I felt quite a bit better. It's nice to know that I have people who will be there for me, regardless. And people whom, if they say something that bothers me, that I can say something to them and they don't get defensive or bothered that I was bothered. I like to know that they can do the same with me.

Anywho, now that I've kind of rambled a bit more than I planned, I shall end this here. Not sure how much I'll write before I leave... guess we'll find out.

Until then. . .

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