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Even though it might not happen that way.
Sunday. 3.28.10 10:08 pm

I don't look forward to decision letters from the bigger, better colleges because I know they'll reject me. My grades have been pretty average, as far as IB students go. I mean, I can make it into Furman (and did; considering it as one of my choices, since my mom has given the OK (since it isn't as expensive as Duke)), but Duke? Rice? No way. There isn't a prayer, when I'm watching the kids with 2300 SAT scores get turned down.

It's not really knowing the fact that I couldn't get in somewhere that bothers me. It's how I've seen it put to people in the past that bugs me. All, It's not you, it's us.

Really? Really?

I'd like to see one college just go, "Yeah, you didn't really fit our criteria. But, we wish you luck and hope you can prove us wrong, someday."

THAT would be a good rejection letter.


Oh, and I think I already decided on a college. It's really all about the money, right now; it would be between Furman and Columbia College, but Columbia might be able to give me a full ride.

Full rides mean more money for graduate school.

More money for that means less debt afterward.

That means that maybe I will have good money from my law degree more quickly!


!!! That means not living at home for the rest of my life!


Hooray for planning ahead!

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Feathers
Sunday. 3.21.10 4:45 pm

Just a couple more weeks and I'll get a quick break from the work. Mock exams until then.

Worth it. I'll never take back my choice to join IB. Can't stand the kids who whine vehemently that they would quit if they could.

Guess what? You already have your credits. YOU CAN.

But then there's the backtrack, and the Oh No I Couldn't Do That Because.

SILLY, SILLY, SILLY. Either quit, or stop being a child about a choice YOU made. Honestly. I would like to observe some sort of conviction.

Anyway. Running is still amazing, and I'm getting back on track with some promises I made to myself, after reading another great post from someone whose thoughts I take a lot of stock in. The vegan cookbooks are back. I'm getting a recipe box to keep my copied versions in. It's time to make the change permanent.


Life is good, despite the aspects that make me glad I own a punching bag.



All things are fleeting.

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Ambi.
Sunday. 3.14.10 7:34 pm
Running is starting to become a sort of sanctuary. I started this whole running schedule hoping to just improve my lung function (to help with my asthma) and build muscles (because being a teenager with arthritis spells "suck-ass old age issues" to me), but it's become more than that, I think. I'm excited to get up and run. I'm sad when it's a resting day.

Plus, all these endorphins are making me laugh more at lunch. :] Plus (!!!!!), I've noticed a change in my friends because of that change in myself! How awesome that we can all sit there and laugh with each other. Meg even told me I was becoming a fatty and I didn't get all hurt deep inside. That's a good sort of trust, to know that it just means I'm eating more (because before I ate a snack after school and dinner. I'm not a hungry person naturally).

:]



Speaking of Meg, I should probably tell you what she did:

She applied to Harvard. She was accepted. And...she turned them down.

Why?

She says she just wanted to see if she could get in.


We're ambiguous people.


[EDIT 2:15AM]

I just started crying a little when I found the answer I thought would destroy my entire portfolio in the older, crappy version I slapped together in one lunch period. Of all the things I got right in that paper, I did not expect this to be one of them. Hallelujah.

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Typing.
Friday. 3.5.10 12:31 am

I tell myself, I know you're tired, but you can't give up now.

I'm invested.

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