Oh no. I totally forgotten I will be home alone on the weekend. I actually love being alone as I will have time for myself. But I don't know why I'm feeling uneasy about being alone tomorrow. The back of my mind has suggested to stay over at my aunt's house. The feeling now is like a warning.

I just hope I won't encounter anything. If I'm stilll feeling uneasy, I will have to either sleep alone bravely or stay over.

Maybe the explanation for this uneasy feeling is because I have not done my report. Oh well, hopefully it is.

Hopefully, it is not someone's fear that I am picking up.

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I had the wildest urge last night that is to drink the bottle of Dettol from my kitchen. I was not in a suicidal mode, but I just feel like doing it. Knowing how crazy I can be in coping with stress, I called a friend to check on me, but no pick up.

The last time I did it was drinking the bottle of sugarcane syrup. Well, that was food and this is not.

And on top of that, I planned if I wanna drink Dettol, then I should also take anti-vomit pill. Despite saying I'm not suicidal, I unknowingly had just plan how to kill myself.

These thoughts have resurfaced again. My friend who rang me up shared that most likely my emotional breakout is attributed to my change of diet. My body might be craving for some minerals.

Whether or not my body is adjusting to its environment, these thoughts were not new.

I need a better way to cope with stress.

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On 3 November 2011 ...

I was told that my team hasn't put up our mailbox due to some glitches. Since the verandah on level 3was booked for the Malaysian contingent, we gathered there and put the final touches to our mailbox.

Here's a picture of our mailbox:



=)

Tidbits: There are a few things you need to know about the mailbox:

1. We were the last contingent to put up the mailbox. HAHAHA.
2. The box had a gap on the bottom, and many friends complained that they could not put stuff in my box because they kept falling.
3. My giver was sad that I didn't receive his chocolates. I don't think the Toblerone is slim enough to squeeze through the gap. So we assumed it was stolen. This made me think if this was not the first case after all.
4. My YL received a lot of letters from admirers
5. I put foodstuff in my girlfriend's box because they always lament it's empty.
5. My mailbox is always empty.

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My mum's sister out of the blue decided to celebratd mother's day. Actually, my mum and I are not looking forward at all. In fact, we are now very stress because of her because there are 1001 things she doesn't eat. And thr place she proposed is not what my mum and I would eat. It's not that we are fussy, it's just we don't trust her taste. Haha. Ok. We are fussy.

I proposed a better place but my auntie refused to go! Ok. Let's see how it goes tomorrow. My mum and I are already sighing....

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Going to Sydney is like a dream!

I never thought I would be stepping into OZ again. Not because I have been to Melbourne, but it's purely sponsored by renaye! My policy is to either travel for free or paid to travel. I guess there are times I cannot be stingy.

But still, going to Sydney is like a dream. Its weather and city is the closest resemblance to New Zealand, my second home.

I had to stopover in Singapore for my Sydney trip. I managed to catch up with my Singaporean friends, and I get to enter the Marina Bay Sands's casino!!



(First mission accomplished! Hence my wide grin =P)

I arrived in Sydney at 5.30 am, but the whole custom procedures took around two hours. It could be shorter if I didn't declare I was bringing medicine. It's better to declare knowing how strict their custom laws are. And I wanna see their beagles! Oh, if you don't know, OZ and NZ use beagles to sniff out prohibited items in airport.

I reached the backpackers at 9 am, and I had to wait for another one hour before I could get into my room. So my friend and I decided to explore the city. The first place we decided to conquer is supermarket. But we ended up in Haysmarket. I was pretty excited to know there's a local freshmarket in the city. It was a pure disappointment for me because it looks like Petaling Street! I'm not joking! Melbourne's market is so much better with all local entrepreneurs selling their specialities.

Later in the evening, we met up with another friend -S- who was staying beside me to plan our route to Sydney Olympic Park for our seminar. One segment of the seminar is the firewalk. Well, all participants have to walk on coal embers. I was excited, but the friend I came with was freaking out. Her facial expression changed when she heard FIRE and WALK. She thought it was not real; just an allegory to remove fears from our brain. She looked at me to confirm it IS not real, and I just kept saying it's not real. Not until S insisted it IS real. My friend turned blue and kept assuring herself out loud that she is not gonna do.

Haha. Guess what? She did the firewalk after all. It is not freaky at all. I didn't get any burn except for a bruise on my left foot.



Sydney Olympic Park is a nice place. I like how they have provided ample of seats for the public. There is a small green space too. I really wanna lie down and look up at the sky.

After the seminar, S had to return to Malaysia the next following day, and my friend and I decided to split. She continued to stay in the backpackers while I decided to stay with my collegemate whom I have not met for over 6 years.

Since I will be heading to my collegemate's place in the evening, I decided to explore Sydney Harbour in the morning. It's amazing to be able to see the iconic place with my own eyes. It's really like a dream!



And you know what? I was able to accomplish another dream! That is to have Mochacinno! I love it! Have not had it for over 6 years! The best part was I was drinking it in front of the harbour.

Another best thing happened in the evening was following my collegemate to her masters class in Macquarie University. Nah, I didn't sit to listen because she excused herself from class with the reason: family emergency. Ouch. I was the 'emergency'.

We went for dinner together before heading to her studio unit with her current partner.

Although my friend and I split, we still updated each other via sms of our program. She decided to go to Blue Mountains and me to Hunter Valley the following day.

I was actually not keen to visit either places, but I decided to go since I have extra cash than expected and I have not been on a winery tour.



The winery tour was interesting. The most interesting part was I had alcohol overdose and food poisoning after the trip. I reached home with nausea, headache and gastric. I felt sorry for not being able to assist my collegemate in preparing dinner. I was so sick till I have to lie and nap after shower. Dinner didn't help and I was forced to request my friend to make congee for me. After that I slept like a baby.

The cause of my food poisoning was obvious: I have drank at least 19 glasses of wine and ended the tour with coffee. The worst part: I didn't drink much water. Bravo renaye.

I woke up early in the morning and was itching to get out of the house. Luckily my collegemate allowed me to go to the suburb's library. And along the way, I bought lotto, a lot of lotto. HEHE. Mission accomplished!

The library is superb! Although I didn't get to borrow a book, I was extremely happy to have walked into a library, because libraries back in my country are extremely pathetic.

I reached airport at 2 pm-ish. I accomplished my last mission by taking a photo with my collegemate. I once thought I would never be able to meet up with her again after we left college. That was one of the reasons I said going to Sydney feels like a dream. It still though.

It took me 6 years to realise this dream...

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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