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Memores acti prudentes futuri

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A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
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A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
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Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
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Legend of Bill
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Love Me Nice
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Wilde Life
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Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
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Passive Aggressive Notes
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
So, I got a Spotify account. Have been listening to Point B songs that aren't on Youtube. I feel like I could just lie on the ground for hours and do nothing but listen to these tracks.

"Versus" by Point B:

I know this kind of music is boring to some people, but something about it is deeply satisfying to me. I was reading about Gestalt psychology on Wikipedia the other night, and I feel like this quote applies: "The whole is other than the sum of the parts." It's not about the individual beats or noises, it's how they're assembled, and the whole piece is more than just a sparse pile of sounds.

There's definitely a solitude that I feel in it. Something subtle and twisting, slow and mysterious, and very much alone. I think of floating on a black pool and watching rings expand around me in the water. It's tranquil and eerie and I feel like I can breathe.

But it's not loneliness... I think in order for it to be loneliness there would have to be the potential of others. There would have to be a contrast between existing alone and existing with company. But listening to this, or feeling it, rather, it's like there is nobody else, and there never has been and never will be.

And things feel better for just a moment.

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In a couple things [2P]
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I don't know what to title this
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson.

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
The Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you

I had a friend in high school who had a lot of disdain for Jack Johnson, and I never really understood why. She didn't explain it, either, so all I can do is speculate. His songs aren't particularly complex, I guess? But I don't know, they sound alright to me. Well, the... three or four songs that I know by him, anyway.

Right now every song I listen to falls into one of two categories: sad or boring. I don't really want to listen to sad music, but I just hear sadness in all the music I have. Maybe it's just my emotional state manifesting itself through my environment. I don't consciously feel too sad, for the most part, but there is a sense of blandness about the world.

I saw this on Facebook and it made me sad:

“I wish I had more backbone. We’ve been dating five years, and he seems more willing to walk away, so he has all the...

Posted by Humans of New York on Wednesday, October 28, 2015


My friend was telling me about his learning disability and some of the difficulties associated with it, and... it really made me think about what school and stuff has been like for me. He doesn't want to take meds if he can help it, because he doesn't think being neurodivergent is something that needs to be... corrected for, I guess. And I think that's perfectly fine. I just worry that the stress of doing as much work as he has to do is going to hurt him.

In a way though, I wonder if we might agree on this subject. I'd consider myself fairly neurotypical, except maybe for the depression and snatches of depersonalization. Still, I don't really like the idea of using medication to counter those things. As long as I'm relatively functional, it doesn't seem necessary.

He said that he wants to be in the field he's going to school for because it's basically the opposite of what his brain is "designed" for, and if he succeeds he'll be part of a very small group of people who don't have a natural aptitude for it, but are doing it anyway. I think he wants to bring some different perspective to things? At first I didn't quite understand what he meant, and thought he just wanted to beat the odds, but I asked about that and he clarified things.

I think I've said this before, but I really admire his attitude about things. It seems like he embraces challenges and pushes himself to do his best. Maybe I'll catch some of it by being around him... :P

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The weekendddd [5P]
Monday, November 2, 2015
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Halloween eve [5P]
Friday, October 30, 2015
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Damsel in distress? [5P]
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
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Recipes and girls night [2P]
Monday, October 26, 2015
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Saturday, October 24, 2015
I squee-ed so hard when I saw this that I actually ended up coughing afterwards. >.>
View post on imgur.com

It's funny how seeing someone's face can have such a soothing effect on me at times. Sometimes I'm in a not-so-great mood and someone calls me on Skype and we have a little chat, maybe not even about anything really, and I feel better.

Right now I feel kind of like a big white cloud hovering over a little green valley somewhere.


I think this article is serious... maybe? but it kind of reads like satire, so I'm not entirely sure. In any case, I found it pretty entertaining:

15 Things You Should Never Tell Your Boyfriend

"No One" by Ms. John Soda.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

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