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Thursday. 7.8.10 5:49 pm


Divorce is moving along slowly, blah blah blah.

I'm at peace with it. It's just that my parents are driving me nuts, constantly coming to me. And even that wouldn't drive me that nuts, except they don't know how crazy they sound. And of course no one could make them realize that.

Meh, not my problem. I shall worry about myself and only get into it when they start trying to slander one another. Of course, then I just make them feel guilty about trying to do that.

And stupid for trying to do it to their eighteen-year-old daughter.

I think they think I'm still six, and that I would still believe it.

Mais nay. I am grown. And while that doesn't mean a lot, it does mean that I have a wider sense of perspective and perception.


I ordered some new glasses. You'll see them on me when I do, maybe. I think I'm pretty much in love with them. They have that old timey secretary vibe.

What I hate about Lenscrafters, though, is the way they treat people.

Seems like I have this problem with people I buy things from a lot.

But that isn't the point!

The point is, I have had glasses since I was four years old. This means that I have worn them that long, bought them that long, and known about the lenses that long. So, every time you tell me my lenses are thicker in the middle while yours are thicker on the outside ("Do you know why that is?"), I die a little on the inside.

I'm far-sighted. I should get glasses that are more circular than square to offset the thickness issue.

Oookaaaaaay, already.

All I'm saying is that it helps for people to just let me shop and ask questions if I have them. Otherwise...assume I know what I'm doing.


I guess you can tell when someone has had a lifetime of being taken for a fool, huh? My dad, the other day, was discouraging me from taking a mathematics and biochemistry double major because he doesn't think I can handle the curriculum.


(I did better than he did in the same level courses (as far as Chemistry goes). But I didn't tell him that because he would Oh But Hmm Hey No. But I did. MUAHA. MUA. MUAHAHAHA...

I did say, "I know your course level was kind of hard, I guess. I read the book in my spare time." Stunned silence.


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Well, your CD collection looks shiny and costly
Saturday. 6.26.10 11:11 pm

What's there to say?

This past week has been a crazy whirlwind of good and bad.

First, I should preface my tales with this little fact: my parents are divorcing. (I'm fine.)

Father's Day, my dad and I went out to dinner after a long weekend of Mom out of the house (some of which Dad was out of the house, too. That was nice). We talked and bonded a lot. I learned a lot about the divorce that I think I needed to know. I've always only gotten my mom's side, when really my dad's family has the record of holding more stable relationships.

What I'm saying is that I've been looking back on my relationships of the past, wishing I'd had those talks with my dad before now. Reparation to myself is on its way, I think, so maybe I can love someone, someday, the way that person deserves to be loved.

Instead of being a crazy copy of my mother.

Anyway. That was something I had some time to ponder and maybe start to fix.

Otherwise...there was a party on Wednesday--Manal's. She's a friend of mine and has been since I was in...I think eighth grade. Her party was generally pretty fun; we swam, ran around, and just generally enjoyed ourselves. Afterward I told some of the people I hang around that I wanted Steak N Shake, so we headed over there for a late night meal.

I got some really bad news from my mom and went and threw up in the bathroom. Admittedly, the poker face I had on, coming out of the bathroom, masked exactly how bad it was--heart-shattering--and I was somewhat proud that I had that ability still. Even though I couldn't hide it completely, it was better than reacting the way I wanted to.

I went home and told Stevie. I'm still not sure if that was too cool of me.

But what's done is done. :-\

Anyway. Thursday was spent cleaning up the mess that was made the night before, which was REALLY no easy feat. I distinctly remember using the sentence, "I'm just eighteen. I don't know how to help," like it meant something (it doesn't). I fell asleep late, after learning that my dad was going to move out.

The next day, I went to Neb's house. It was pretty cool. I love how you don't have to talk, there. You can just sit, and sing, and not talk. I mean, sure I talked some, but mostly it was just nice to be outside, hanging out with people and listening to Neb and Xavier play their respective instruments (Neb with a guitar, Xavier running between guitar and bass). Xavier sang a song in Spanish to me...I'm not sure exactly what he said, but what I did catch made me blush like mad.

Then he sang a song about a vendetta against cats...then about a fuzzy fuzzy caterpillar...then munging (Sarah's idea)...then he went back to the caterpillars because I reminded him that they turn into butterflies. Later in the night it was dark and the tiki torches looked even cooler. Everything was so chill. It made me want to pick up a guitar all over again.

So, here I am, on Saturday, listening to Cake and doing tons of laundry and cleaning.

That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.

(I so almost snuck out and stayed the night at Neb's. A bunch of people were camping in his backyard and my mother doesn't seem to understand that 1) I don't have sex, and 2) I'm a legal adult. Whatever.)

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Droid does parties.
Friday. 6.18.10 9:33 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Monday. 6.14.10 3:56 pm

All right. Here's how it went down:

I woke up this morning an hour late, grabbed a quick shower, applied some no fuss makeup, and was out the door. Then I sat in the wrong section of the health department until they let me know (there are practically no signs up) and pointed me in the right direction.

I hate places without signs.

THEN, I filled out my form, handed them my license, and sheepishly let the ladies know that no, my mother did not give me the insurance card, and that I had no idea who was covering us.

All right, okay, just bring it next time and we'll fill you in.

Great! So I'm off to the office to get some shots!

Three! Two in my left arm, one in my right. I think going alone for me is better, because I didn't even feel faint. Usually I'm all over the place after a shot.

THEN! because I was feeling great, I swung by the old bibliotheque for some books. I picked up Anna Karenina (Tolstoy; because reading it off my computer is sometimes a bit inconvenient), War and Peace (Tolstoy), A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens), Bluebeard (Vonnegut; I've already gone through all his popular ones), and Pride and Prejudice (Austen; tried reading it, hated it; watched the movie, fell in love with the plot. Going to try reading it again, for the sake of enjoying a good story).

Hopefully I can get through this set in a week or so. I'm a bit worried about War and Peace.


After that, I went and bought a wallet and some underpants. The salesgirl seemed pretty quiet at first, but I've figured out from some trial and error that, if you ask or comment about how hectic it seems (when it does), it really gives them something to be happy about--someone noticed how much it sucks! Yes! She complimented my blue and green pair of underwear, even, after we talked about the sudden customer rush and the strategy she has to combat it.

It was pretty cool. I hope she had a nice day.

Hmm. Then I went to Michael's for some bandannas, because hiking gets really strenuous on certain trails and it helps to have something around my forehead to keep me dry. Several different colors. Nice. There was also a cayenne pepper grow kit and a hackysack, both on sale. Bought them. Hello, college preparedness.

So now I'm yawning, considering dinner and a movie before some late-night cleaning. :]

"All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow."

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