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Memores acti prudentes futuri


She said it was all make believe
but I thought she said maple leaves
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories― if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
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Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
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Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
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Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
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Snowflakes
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SubCulture
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Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Domino effect
Saturday, November 22, 2014


Feels like the first one fell when I started college and they've been falling ever since.

And even though I know there's not a single path and things aren't linear like that, that sense is still there.

I could try to go back and pick some of them up, but there are too many down and I can't stop the chain. And anyway, they've already fallen.

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TEoM
Friday, November 21, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Nice things!
Thursday, November 20, 2014
It rained today! When I left after my shift tonight I walked out of the building and the air smelled amazing. Like birch beer in a rain forest. The scent changed as I focused on it. At first it was sweet and woody and earthy in equal measures but then the woodiness became more prominent, so it smelled more deep and sawdusty.

Then when I was driving home there were songs I knew the words to on the radio and I sang along with them and I could sing as loudly as I wanted because I was in the car by myself. (The one real perk of driving, I think)

And I got home and decided to go outside and jump rope a bit since I haven't used my jump rope much, and I did that and it got tiring very quickly because I never really jump rope or uh really work out or anything, but it felt nice. And when I paused I looked around me and the plants had little tiny droplets of rain hanging off them that made it look like diamonds were growing all over my yard.

AND I got to have Ethiopian food today twice because we had leftovers from last night.

AND this morning I found out that my waist was 1.5 inches smaller than the last time I measured.

AND I had a short but pleasant videochat before my shift.

Many nice things indeed.

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Can't remember if I posted this song before
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Oh well, if it's a repeat, so be it.

You don't look interested in what I just said
If you're not listening then don't nod your head


Jonathan Coulton is perhaps my favorite artist? If we're thinking about it terms of sheer quantity.

Even though I'm not a great singer I like singing along to this one:

Now everything is standing still
It was only my head that made it revolve
Everything was fine until it was awful instead
Now watch me dissolve


Wednesday's gonna be busy. :\ Internship, appointment, crisis line... -Sigh-

Sometimes I feel trapped, because I want to talk to people but they leave and I feel like I can't ask them to stay. I'm not bound by facticity or anything, only (over?) consideration and social mores. Sometimes I get paralyzed while silently weighing my choices and by the time I pick it's too late.

Ah, interaction is so difficult. I suppose it's only fear that holds me back. Not to say there aren't real consequences to saying some of the things I don't. Nothing unbearable though... in the sense that I'm likely to live through whatever happens.

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Whatwhatwhat
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
I'm in a really really weird mood. I feel like I need to do something. Like run around. Or punch stuff. Or open my mouth and like scream until a laser beam shoots out.

I have no idea why. It's a restless sort of feeling, it's energetic but I also feel kind of mentally tired. What what what is going on?

I kinda want to make stuff and I kinda want to find new stuff and watch movies and read books and listen to music and punch things still and like punt something into the sky.

Some of these things may be more achievable than others.

On Friday I'm supposed to do some in-field work with my client. Basically that means I have to follow him around in a night club and listen to his awkward-as-hell conversations with random ladies as he attempts to seduce them. Many laughs shall be had, I'm sure. I'm thinking I might ask a friend to go along with me though, if possible. For my parents' comfort more than anything else really.

Thanksgiving is coming up, and I invited Frosan to come to my family's gathering. I'm kind of excited for that. I'm planning to make mac and cheese (of course), spinach ricotta pie, and browned butter mashed potatoes. Usually I make the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving but I always find them extremely boring so this year I thought it might be nice to switch things up. Browned butter is so good~

Hmm. Now in addition to the other things I want to do, I want to cook stuff. I'm looking through my list of bookmarked recipes (and believe me, there are a lot) and I've hardly made any of them. I should fix that.

WHY HAVE I NOT MADE RICOTTA SOUP YET IT LOOKS AMAZING

These Irish soda farls look really easy too. Maybe something to do for breakfast in the future?

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Strange contrasts
Monday, November 17, 2014
I always find it weird when I see someone singing a sad song while looking cheerful. I was listening to "Low Down Man" by Squirrel Nut Zippers (revisiting old goodies) and there was a cover of it in the Youtube search results. I won't post it because it wasn't good, but it was just weird how cheerful the people in the video looked.

For reference, this is the song:

And lyrics...
That low down man of mine
Mistreats me all the time
He says he loves me only
Then turns around and leaves me
Sad and lonely

If he could see through my eyes
And be the one who cries
He would see, he would never be
That low down man of mine

That low down man with his low down ways
I know he'll go some day
I'll wait till then, this story's ending
It won't be long but from now on

If he could see through my eyes
And be the one who cries
He would see, he would never be
That low down man of mine

If he could see through my eyes
And be the one who cries
He would see, he'd come back to me
That low down man


At the same time though, I guess I do like some upbeat sad songs. So I dunno, maybe it shouldn't be weird to me.

I wonder what the writer of this song was thinking when they wrote it? I'm not sure if it's supposed to be that the woman is calling the man "low down" because he left her or if she thinks he's low down but wants him to come back despite that.

---Edit---

A Berstrip.

It's 1:27 AM and I kind of wish I had someone to go out for a walk with.

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Another late night entry...
Sunday, November 16, 2014
So much thinking lately. All these things I'd mostly put aside the past few years... The things mainly separate from so-called real life, that practical world in which we operate. Things you could go your whole life without thinking about, in a way.

I just watched the original Solaris. Though I saw the new one a few years ago, I couldn't really remember the plot. Wikipedia tells me they're not quite the same, though, so maybe it didn't matter. Apparently Stanislaw Lem, the author whose novel was the inspiration for the films, objected to both film adaptations.

Anyway, it made me think (as so many things seem to do these days). In a more personal, less abstract way, though. Just about who my "visitor" would be in such a situation (Background: In the film the characters encounter replicas of their loved ones, which they call "visitors", aboard the space station they're on). I have a suspicion.

In a discussion about the related film Stalker, which I have not seen, it occurred to me that generally when I think about what I would want if given the chance to have a wish granted, I tend to know without giving it any thought. And given the dreams I have sometimes, I guess that wish isn't just in my conscious mind. At any rate I think it's unlikely to be fulfilled, especially considering the attempts I've made over the years. Maybe someday I'll be able to let go of it and spare myself some heartache.

Until then I suppose I can bear the occasional dream in which things are the way I've wanted for so long, and I wake up feeling saudade for it.

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Corsets and freedom
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Looking at corsets and corset dresses and such...

This black satin flared corset dress is so pretty...

And so is this white corset dress with lace...

This polka dot one is pretty cute too, although it has slightly... Gothic Lolita vibes to me.

I think corsets are cool but I don't know if I could pull off wearing one. Alas.

Thinkin' more 'bout bad faith and freedom again. And how people (in the US at least) make this big deal about how freedom is awesome and stuff but how they seem to conceptualize it in a rather different way than Sartre. I dunno. I think it makes sense that if we have no choice but to choose what actions we take, a fair number of people wouldn't be able to deal with the weight of that responsibility... Not comfortably, anyway.

I don't know why I've been so into Existentialism lately. Sometimes it just seems like a fancier, more detailed explanation of things I already feel/agree with I guess.

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