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Memores acti prudentes futuri

Shown to the place you fold
there's nothing to be without it
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Camp Weedonwantcha
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
The suspense builds
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Friend: Hope you didn't eat lunch. Cause my present is gonna make you joy vomit.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Friday, September 18, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Friday, September 18, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Someday [4P]
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Significant Objects [4P]
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
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In a few days [4P]
Monday, September 14, 2015
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Introverting again and food
Sunday, September 13, 2015
I went to Becka's husband's birthday party last night. It was... exhausting. I made a chocolate cake for it, but it was only one layer because there were going to be other desserts there.

And a not very good picture of the interior...

They were using a plastic knife to cut it, so it was kinda messy. >_>

The cake was decent, I guess. Usually I don't like frosting, but I made a different kind this time (it's only yellow because of food coloring-- it's just vanilla flavored), and it was significantly better than normal buttercream frosting. Definitely going to save that recipe.

The party itself was... eh... I didn't really know anybody but Fro, Mike (Fro's boyfriend), Becka, and Joel (Becka's husband). And everybody except Fro was significantly taller than me. -__- So... it was a really draining experience. Very loud and kind of uncomfortable. I spent mostly the entire time I was there just talking to Fro and Mike. Maybe I don't have the energy to do social events right now. I ended up skipping the 50th anniversary jubilee at my high school yesterday too because I just didn't feel up to it. Fro and Mike had to leave around 11 PM, so I just left at the same time. I think I ended up feeling pretty sad at the party, and it continued into the rest of the night.

On the plus(?) side, I think I've been eating more. Yesterday I ate... I'm guessing more than 1000 calories, which I probably haven't been making most days for awhile. I know I should be getting more than that, around 1100 or 1200 at least, but I don't really feel hungry or that interested in food most of the time. I did experiment with making fish cakes today though, and I ate like... three of them. And an apple. So I'm doing better? Maybe? I don't really know. At the very least, I've been eating every day, even if it's not much some days. And I haven't had to force myself to eat...

Here are my fishcakes:

They tasted like... fish and mashed potatoes, as one might expect from the ingredients. Not bad. I didn't really use a recipe, just made some mashed potatoes and flaked leftover fish from last night (I didn't eat dinner, just asked my mom to save my portion) and mixed them together with a beaten egg, some cheese, and some spices. Maybe I'll try it again in the future.

I've had a sore throat and sometimes a cough for like... over a week now. I don't really know if it's allergies or if I'm sick or what. Maybe I'm just dying. For some reason the thought of that is kind of amusing to me. Dying would solve all my problems! In completely the wrong way, but still. I think it would be similar to playing checkers and just chucking the board off the table so you can't lose.

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IRC reflections
Saturday, September 12, 2015
The IRC channel I go to has like... a lot of people with issues. I PM some of them sometimes or offer to listen if anybody needs to talk, so now I sort of have a reputation for being a nice person/caring etc.

Last night this one guy was feeling pretty down, saying he wasn't a nice person, that there wasn't much good about him at all. I asked why he thought he wasn't a nice person, and he said that he had bullied someone years ago and regrets it all the time. Usually I try not to share my personal experience too much when I'm asking someone about their problems (don't want to redirect the focus onto myself), but I mentioned that I had bullied people in the past, and while it was something I regret, I try to be a better person now and make up for my mistakes. Some of the people in the chat had a hard time believing that I had been... a different person in the past, but one person said they could see it, because there's a "fire" that shows up in me occasionally. I feel like I have the capacity to be a really horrible person, and I could do terrible things to people, but I'm always trying to avoid being that way. Maybe that's part of why doing drugs and drinking don't appeal to me. I don't really like the idea of purposely lowering my inhibitions for fun, because I worry sometimes that I would end up doing something bad.

I haven't gotten the impression that many other people think about this kind of thing much. Or at least, nobody's told me that they think about their capacity for evil on any sort of regular basis. I wonder if anything would be different if people did.

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